[tyu]'s diary

699704  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-11-16
Written: (6034 days ago)

If you had me alone, locked up in your room for 24 hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me?
answer this and then paste it in your diary the answers might surprise you

656522  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-08-30
Written: (6113 days ago)
Next in thread: 671964

i feel confused and trapt
like im all alone and i'm being hit with a strap

I feel all alone
I feel like i'm missin something that would make me whole

I feel like i'm lost and i cant find my way
i feel like i've done something wrong and i'm being forced to pay

Wel i aint been in here in a while so i igured i'd write a poem but it didn't turn out very good oh well ilike it & thats all that matters
BUt i feel lost and lonely like noone wants me cuz i'm not perfect i feel like i'm missin something important a part of me that should be there ugh i don't feel like writing nymore bye

572487  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-05-11
Written: (6223 days ago)

Answer the questions and send them to me please.
What would you do if I?


1) I committed suicide:
2) I said I liked you:
3) I kissed you:
4) I lived next door to you:
5) I started smoking:
6) I stole something:
7) I was hospitalized:
8) I ran away from home:
9) I got into a fight and you weren't there:


What do you think about my:
1) Personality:
2) Eyes:
3) Face:
4) Hair:
5) Clothes:
6) Mannerisms:


Other:


1) Who are you?
2) Are we friends?
3) When and how did we meet?
4) How have I affected you?
5) What do you think of me?
6) What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7) How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
8) Do you love me?
9) Have I ever hurt you?
10) Would you hug me?
11) Would you kiss me?
12) Would you make love to me?
13) Would you marry me?
14) Emotionally, what stands out?
15) Do you wish I was cooler?
16) On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
17) Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
18) Am I loveable?
19) How long have you known me? 20) Describe me in one word.
21) What was your first impression?
22) Do you still think that way about me now?
23) What do you think my weakness is?
24) Do you think I'll get married?
25) What about me makes you happy?
26) What about me makes you sad?
27) What reminds you of me?
28) What's something you would change about me?
29) How well do you know me?
30) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31) Do you think I would kill someone?
32) Are we close?
33) Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

538616  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-01
Written: (6263 days ago)

Man i sure haven't been in here for a while alot has happend since i last write in here but i dont have time to tell it all now so i will tell ya later

493178  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-02-11
Written: (6312 days ago)

i am so bored there is nothin to do in this lil bitty town and i cant see rachel today so i'm kinda in a bad mood well guess i'll go talk to ya later diary.

487686  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-02-04
Written: (6319 days ago)

Poem of the day

I remember when I was just a lil 'G, playin Russian Roulette and screamin somebody kill me!

But now life has changed 'cuz I got the Lord on my side, and now I ain't gotta worry 'bout bein shot at or takin fo' a ride.

I remember when boy Santiago got shot, he took 5 caps to the chest and he's still breathin, he's livin proof that theirs a God if you need a reason.

But that was way back when I was tired and deprived, and didn't care if I was alone when i died.

But now i've found God and I'm a man now, I'm gonna make it on my own not on a handout.

I've made my mistakes but I learned from everyone, and when it's all said and done I'll be called a better one.

I'm a better man fo' the changes that I made, I live my own life now becuz I'm not afraid.

I never forget that God isn't finished wit' me yet.

I feel his hands on my brain, alwas leading me to do the right thing.

I remember I use to hang out in the alley doin' drugs a lot, but now i'm makin these sentences and spittin the rhymes that i got.

Now as i lay me down to sleep I have no fears because i know th Lord can hear me speak.

I ask him everyday to forgive me for my sins, I thank him many times that he saved me before i ended up in the state pen.

I thank him everyday for helping me 'cuz everybody needs help, and nobody can rely on their self.

FEEDBACK PLEASE

402875  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-11-05
Written: (6410 days ago)

Tomorrow ought to be fun i get to teach a self deense class to girl scouts wish me luck peoplePoem of the day
I don't know what to do or what to say
It seems like everybody is getting in my way.

I really dont like people because there messing with my head .
All these people make me wish I was dead.

They're driving me insane and running me up the walls
The only thing left for me do to do is run for the stalls .

I try to hold it back but the tears just keep coming
And before I know it I find myself running
FEEDBACK

400521  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-11-03
Written: (6412 days ago)

Poem of the day. (Someone,Somewhere,Someday)
I'm finally doing better, I really am right now.
I know that my life will go on somehow.

I'm still a little crazy but isn't everyone?
I no longer feel like I'm alone standing on the sun.

I'm still not very happy but atleast I am content,
In going on knowing that my life isn't spent.

And altough I'm still alone,
I know one day my love will make it home.

I no longer try to end my life in vain,
Because I've finally confronted all my pain.

Amd though my mind and heart are healing,
Sometimes these thoughts still send my spirit reeling.

But I can handle it better now because I know there's always hope that helps to take this pain away.
And because of hope I know someone, somewhere, will love me someday.
               M.B.Payne
              --------------
                2004
FEEDBACK PLEASE

399221  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-11-02
Written: (6413 days ago)
Next in thread: 400149

Poem of the day.
I don't know what to do I think I'm going Crazy.
Suddenly LIFE is becoming dark and hazy.

I want someone to love I want someone to hold.
I want to make me feel alive so that I'm no longer cold.

I can't find a release, I can't find anything that helps.
I feel like someone ripped my fucking heart out and stuck it on a shelf.

I feel like i should scream because I don't know what to do.
I feel like my world is coming unglued.

I'm hurt and I'm lonely, but most of all I'm scared.
That;s why I'm sitting here writing this and pulling out my hair.

I'm tired of being alone and I'm tired of dealing with all this strife.
I will find the one who I'm supposed to be with all my life.
FEEDBACK PLEASE

394035  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-10-28
Written: (6418 days ago)
Next in thread: 398823

Poem of the day .

Life is different now because everything has changed.
I feel like I'm living with my heart in a cage.

I'll probably never see you again but i really hope I do.
I feel like all my emotions are coming unglued.

I guess i could be crazy but if i am it's only because of this world.
Nothing seems to help ecxcept thoughts of just one girl.

And though i probably will never see her again her face will stay with
me in my dreams.
And when I think that I may not see her again I only want to scream.

Because of her i've realized that life goes by so fast.
But she has also thaught that true love will always last.

M.B.Payne
-------------
10-28-04

FEED BACK PLEASE

384746  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-19
Written: (6427 days ago)

poem of the day

I'm sitting here wondering and asking myself,
Why does my life have to be a living hell?

There messin with my me again only now my "FRIENDS" are in on it too!
Their playin with my mind while trying to make me come unglued and I have no clue what the fuck to do!

I feel like I'm going crazy cuz I'm still alone all the time!
I feel like I'm going crazy and my only escape is through my rhymes!

But now my rhymes are failing me!
And what's worse is that there doesn't seem to be another escape that I can see!

Well maybe there's still one final release!
I could take my own life and finally "REST IN PEACE"

377283  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-11
Written: (6435 days ago)
Next in thread: 377323

hey pple not a lot goin on

Poem of the day
This poem is "para mi amour" who will remain unnamed
I think i'm afraid of you.
But i know not what i should do.

I'm not afraid because you scare me.
I'm afraid because you care for me.

I don't know why i'm fraid i just know iam some how.
I bet you think i'm 'm really crazy now.

But i swear that i'm not crazy I'm just in love with you
I'm so in love that it scaresand i dont know what to do.

FEEDBACK
Feed back

374510  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-10-08
Written: (6438 days ago)

Today really sucks my is uncle is being sent back to Honduras.
Poem of the day
I don't know why i fight i don't know why i try
I don't know why i listen to all their fuckin lies

Some one please come and help, come and get me out of this mess I don't wanna fuckin be like the rest

I hate almost everybody know. Why can't they fuckin figure out that i just won't follow the crowd.

I will not be like themand for this i dont know what to say.
These stupid motherfuckers are ruining my day.

i really want to go and just leave the rest behind. All these stupid people are fuckin with my mind.

They're getting in my head and drivin me insane.And now all i can feel is the pain.

The pain is all I know now so i iwmbrace it everyday
Ad as i do so It helps me as i go along my way.

FEEDBACK

373807  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-10-07
Written: (6439 days ago)

hey pple here's my poem of the day.
It's raining now so everything is cool.
The rain is my temporary release from everything that's cruel.

The rain is cold but it's still filled with life .
The rain is my temporary release from all this wordly strife.

The rain is flowing now it's running down the street.
I know I'll make it as i watch the rain gather at my feet.

         Michael
FEEDBACK

372319  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-05
Written: (6441 days ago)
Next in thread: 372351

Okay pple this poem is in honor of my brother who died in a car wreck four years ago to the day.

No one seems to love me and no one seems to care.
That's why i'm fuckin sittin here rippin out my hair.

My dad is screamin at me to get up and go to mass.
And I'm yellin back NO and you can kiss my fuckin ass.

I dan't wanna go to church i just wanna cry,
Cuz God let me down 4 years ago when he let my brother die!

And now I'm wonderin why I still wear this 'lil cross.
And then I realize it's because Damien's faith was never lost.

I wear it as a reminder of how he was always there for me.
I wonder if maybe he can still see,

Everything I've said and all I've done so far.
Why God why couldn't it be me inside that car?

It was my responsibility to help my mamma out.
Why the hell did I have to go and pout?

Why'd I have to say take Damien with you instead I wanna stay and play.
Why coudn't i have just went with her, maybe if I had my big brother wouldn't be dead.

Was his death My fault? I hope not cuz,
Damn I just miss him too fuckin much!

I don't wanna be the reason why everything gone wrong since in my life since he died.God let me down that day and ever since I've cried.
FEEDBACK

371519  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-04
Written: (6442 days ago)

hey pple
not a lot to write about today so figured i'd try to write a poem

I feel alone & deprived
Because i'm twisted i'm not alive
this world is scary and there ain't nuttin i can do
They think i'm crazy and that i might come unglued
I don't think i'm crazy though becuz i'm just like them
So guess that all i can do is to hang wit my friends



I know it's probaly no good but oh well
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368605  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-10-01
Written: (6445 days ago)

Today officially sucked i had to go to the dentist and now my jaw is really buggin me

365726  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-09-28
Written: (6448 days ago)
Next in thread: 365751

hey pple whut up nuttin here. just lookin around online and bein bored. Lately i been talkin to a really cool person on here her name is lucille (YOu RoCK AnD YOu KnoW It BaBy) lol well i guess i'll let ya'll go for now. Oh yea take my new pole ppl plz.

364381  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-09-27
Written: (6449 days ago)

i am so bored and i can't think of any thing to write some body plz talk to me

361352  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-09-24
Written: (6452 days ago)
Next in thread: 366584

Hey everybody! I'm at school and i'm so bored so i guess i'll write a poem (actually it's more of a rap but oh well). it's not about me and i dont have a name for tit yet but i am open to any suggestions you all might have okay here goes nothin
I'm bustin caps fo my life while bein prayed fo by my wife. My girl she's at home wit my son and i know they are alone.
So i'm takin lives wit these knives cuz don't nobody care that my son ain't grown.
These people they be shootin they be screamin and shoutin, and don't nobody care that my girl's at home poutin.
I don't know what to say, 'Cept that i don't wanna die today.
These place has started cookin it's gettin hot up in dis joint . People have started bookin cuz theys cops up in this joint.
That cop he dun saw and it be to late to run cuz he be reachin for his gun.
There's a flash then a bang, and then there is the pain that is exploding through my brain.
Now I'm fallin on da ground wit only one thing on my mind, I cant die cuz i got people on the line.
I'm dieing now and i know it, I'm thinking but i don't show it.
I'm thinkin to myself, is this the way to hell?
I got only one regret only one thing iwish i hadn't done, I only fuckin wish i hadn't picked up that fuckin gun.

359221  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-09-22
Written: (6454 days ago)

hey todays going okay so far nothins gone wrong yet so hopefully it wont

 The logged in version 

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