[banu]'s diary

894411  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-01-03
Written: (3997 days ago)

That's very good music, from a Turkish girl "Atiye Deniz"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTsZBm9BemA

888207  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-12-17
Written: (4015 days ago)

WATCHING YOU
that's a good question
why am i standing out here alone
i guess i don't know enough to come in from the rain
i was watching your window
from here below
i think i just might stay here all day
cause i gotta do something

if i can't love you
i don't want to love you
if i can't hold you
i don't want to be thinking of you
and if you don't want me
i don't want to want you
and if you won't see me
i don't know what to do
but oh keep watching you
until i see right through
oh i keep watching you

you could throw me down a cigarette
i smoked my last one quite a while ago
no, i gave it to the man that swore he had no need
you know sometimes if i listen real close
i can hear the dark side of the moon
and there's always yesterday's times if i care to read
and i gotta do something

if i can't love you
i don't want to love you
if i can't hold you
i don't want to be thinking of you
and if you don't want me
i don't want to want you
and if you won't see me
i don't know what to do
but oh keep watching you
until i see right through
oh i keep watching you

sure i'm alright
no i'm not very cold
every now and then i can feel the subway heat
so go on inside
i'll leave you alone
anyway bogart's on in the window down the street
and i gotta do something

if i can't love you
i don't want to love you
if i can't hold you
i don't want to be thinking of you
and if you don't want me
i don't want to want you
and if you won't see me
i don't know what to do
but oh keep watching you
until i see right through
oh i keep watching you
~Melissa Etheridge

867772  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-10-26
Written: (4066 days ago)

The Turkish National Anthem


  Never fear! For the crimson flag that proudly waves in these dawns, shall never fade,
  Before the last fiery hearth that is ablaze within my nation burns out.
  For it is the star of my nation, and it will forever shine;
  It is mine; and solely belongs to my valiant nation.

  Frown not, I beseech you, oh thou coy crescent,
  But smile upon my heroic race! Why the anger, why the rage?
  Our blood which we shed for you will not be worthy otherwise;
  For freedom is the absolute right of my God-worshipping nation.

  I have been free since the beginning and forever will be so.
  What madman shall put me in chains! I defy the very idea!
  I'm like the roaring flood; powerful and independent,
  I'll tear apart mountains, exceed the heavens and still gush out!

  The lands of the West may be armored with walls of steel,
  But I have borders guarded by the mighty chest of a believer.
  Recognize your innate strength, my friend! And think: how can this fiery faith ever be killed,
  By that battered, single-fanged monster you call "civilization"?

  My friend! Leave not my homeland to the hands of villainous men!
  Render your chest as armor and your body as trench! Stop this disgraceful rush!
  For soon shall come the joyous days of divine promise...
  Who knows? Perhaps tomorrow? Perhaps even sooner!

  View not the soil you tread on as mere earth, recognize it!
  And think about the shroudless thousands who lie so nobly beneath you.
  You're the noble son of a martyr, take shame, hurt not your ancestor!
  Unhand not, even when you're promised worlds, this paradise of a homeland.

  What man would not die for this heavenly piece of land?
  Martyrs would gush out were one to just squeeze the soil! Martyrs!
  May God take all my loved ones and possessions from me if He will,
  But may He not deprive me of my one true homeland for the world.

  Oh glorious God, the sole wish of my pain-stricken heart is that,
  No infidel's hand should ever touch the bosom of my sacred Temples.
  These adhans, and these shahadahs that my hearing is accustomed to, are the foundations of my religion,
  And may their noble sound last loud and wide over my eternal homeland.

  For only then, shall my fatigued tombstone, if there is one, prostrate a thousand times in ecstasy,
  And tears of fiery blood shall flow out of my every wound,
  And my lifeless body shall gush out from the earth like an eternal spirit,
  Perhaps only then, shall I peacefully ascend and at long last reach the heavens.

  So flap and wave like the bright dawning sky, oh thou glorious crescent,
  So that our every last drop of blood may finally be worthy!
  Neither you nor my race shall ever be extinguished!
  For freedom is the absolute right of my ever-free flag;
  For freedom is the absolute right of my God-worshipping nation!

Alternate version


  Fear not! This crimson flag rippling in the twilight will never fade,
  The last hearth burning above my nation,
  It is my nation’s star, it will shine,
  It is mine and for my nation solely.

  Frown not my coy crescent for I am ready to die for you
  (My Lord) Smile upon my heroic nation. Why this anger? Why this wrath?
  (Frown not) lest our blood shed for you be unblessed.
  It is the right (of my nation), who worships God. My nation’s Independence!

  From the beginning I have lived free and I will live free,
  Who is the crazed that will chain me? I’m bewildered!
  I’m like a roaring flood; I’ll masticate my body (renouncing this worldly life in jihad) and surmount (My oppressor).
  I’ll tear the mountains, nothing will contain me and I will explode

  If the west has bordered the horizon with a steel plated wall,
  I have a frontier fortified like my breast filled of faith!
  You (my nation) are imposing (great and exalted), do not be afraid. How can the “civilization” (democracy, western life), the toothless monster you make claim of eradicate this faith?

  My friend, do not allow scoundrels to tread (cause disaster) in my homeland,
  Make your body a shield (renounce yourself in jihad), and stop this shameless flow (attack on ourselves)
  There will come the days your lord has promised you (of His bounty)
  Who knows? Maybe tomorrow, maybe sooner than tomorrow.

  Do not pass over the ground you walk on and think of it as only dirt! Recognise (ponder over it)
  Think about the thousands lying under it un-shrouded (dumped, not given a proper burial)
  You are the descendant of those who died in the path of your Lord (martyrs), don’t alter this (tradition), it would be a pity.
  Even if you were to attain the worlds, do not give up this heavenly nation.

  Who wouldn’t sacrifice themselves for this heavenly nation?
  If you squeezed the land on which lives have been lost in the path of Allah (in martyrdom), there will gush the ones who (in martyrdom) have died in the path of Allah.
  Even if God were to take my soul, my beloved and my existence,
  Let him (God) not separate me from this one land on earth (let me keep fighting for this cause)

  My soul’s only longing is your blessings (Allah)
  Let not strange hands be laid on my temple of worship
  It is these athan’s (Call to prayer) shahada (declaration of faith) the foundation of this religion (Islam),
  That should eternally echo above my nation.

  Then ecstatically one-thousand prostrations – if I should have any sense
  With every surge, My Lord, emptied (forgotten) are my painful years,
  My soul will gush out as if from the purist of man (because God forgives the previous sins with the first drop of blood spilt for his cause in struggle (Jihad))
  Than maybe I will be raised to arsa (The highest level of heaven)

  So ripple now like the twilight oh glorious crescent moon
  Blessed now be every drop of blood I drop for you
  There is never an end for you, no submission for my race
  Freedom is the right of my flag (nation) who has lived free,
  It is the right (of my nation), who worships God. My nation’s Independence!

P.S: You can check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Istikl%C3%A2l_Marsi
855685  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-22
Written: (4100 days ago)

et maintenant

et maintenant que vais-je faire
de tout ce temps que sera ma vie
de tous ces gens qui m'indiffèrent
maintenant que tu es partie

toutes ces nuits, pourquoi pour qui
et ce matin qui revient pour rien
ce cœur qui bat, pour qui, pourquoi
qui bat trop fort, trop fort

et maintenant que vais-je faire
vers quel néant glissera ma vie
tu m'as laissé la terre entière
mais la terre sans toi c'est petit

vous, mes amis, soyez gentils
vous savez bien que l'on n'y peut rien
même paris crève d'ennui
toutes ses rues me tuent

et maintenant que vais-je faire
je vais en rire pour ne plus pleurer
je vais brûler des nuits entières
au matin je te haïrai

et puis un soir dans mon miroir
je verrai bien la fin du chemin
pas une fleur et pas de pleurs
au moment de l'adieu

je n'ai vraiment plus rien à faire
je n'ai vraiment plus rien ...

~Gilbert Becaud

855682  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-22
Written: (4100 days ago)

je reviens te chercher

je reviens te chercher
je savais que tu m'attendais
je savais que l'on ne pourrait
se passer l'un de l'autre longtemps
je reviens te chercher
ben tu vois, j'ai pas trop changé
et je vois que de ton côté
tu as bien traversé le temps

tous les deux on s'est fait la guerre
tous les deux on s'est pillés, volés, ruinés
qui a gagné, qui a perdu,
on n'en sait rien, on ne sait plus
on se retrouve les mains nues
mais après la guerre,
il nous reste à faire
la paix.

je reviens te chercher
tremblant comme un jeune marié
mais plus riche qu'aux jours passés
de tendresse et de larmes et de temps
je reviens te chercher
j'ai l'air bête sur ce palier
aide-moi et viens m'embrasser
un taxi est en bas qui attend

~Gilbert Becaud

855681  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-09-22
Written: (4100 days ago)

l'important c est la rose

toi qui marches dans le vent
seul dans la trop grande ville
avec le cafard tranquille du passant
toi qu'elle a laissé tomber
pour courir vers d'autres lunes
pour courir d'autres fortunes
l'important...

l'important c'est la rose
l'important c'est la rose
l'important c'est la rose
crois-moi

toi qui cherches quelque argent
pour te boucler la semaine
dans la ville tu promènes ton ballant
cascadeur, soleil couchant
tu passes devant les banques
si tu n'es que saltimbanque
l'important...

l'important c'est la rose
l'important c'est la rose
l'important c'est la rose
crois-moi

toi, petit, que tes parents
ont laissé seul sur la terre
petit oiseau sans lumière
dans ta veste de drap blanc
il fait froid comme en bohème
t'as le coeur comme en carême
et pourtant...

l'important c'est la rose
l'important c'est la rose
l'important c'est la rose
crois-moi

toi pour qui, donnant-donnant
j'ai chanté ces quelques lignes
comme pour te faire un signe en passant
dis à ton tour maintenant
que la vie n'a d'importance
que par une fleur qui danse
sur le temps...

l'important c'est la rose
l'important c'est la rose
l'important c'est la rose
crois-moi

~Gilbert Becaud

851523  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-09-11
Written: (4112 days ago)

Cornflake Girl

Never was a cornflake girl
Thought that was a good solution
Hanging with the raisin girls
She's gone to the other side
Givin us a yo heave ho
Things are getting kind of gross
And I go at sleepy time
This is not really happening
You bet your life it is

Peel out the watchword
Just peel out the watchword

She knows what's goin on
Seems we got a cheaper feel now
All the sweetcaze are gone
Gone to the other side
With my encyclopedia
They musta paid her a nice price
She's putting on her string bean love
This is not really happening
You bet your life it is

Peal our the watchword
Just peel out the watchword

Never was a cornflake girl
Thought that was a good solution

Rabbit where'd you put the keys girl
And the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much
Thinks he knows so much
Rabbit where'd you put the keys girl

~Tori Amos

851521  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-09-11
Written: (4112 days ago)

Your Cloud

Where the river cross
crosses the lake
Where the words
Jump off my pen
and into your pages
Do you think just like that
You can divide
This
You as yours
Me as mine
to before we were Us

if the rain
Has to separate from Itself
does it say "pick out your cloud?"
pick out your cloud
If there is a Horizontal Line
that runs from the MAP
off your body
straight through the Land
shooting up
right through my heart
Will this Horizontal Line
when asked
know how to find
Where you end
where I begin
"pick out your cloud"

How Light can play
and form a Ring of Rain
that can change bows into arrows
(I found a thrill)
Who we were
isn't lost Before
we were Us
Indigo
in his own Blue
always knew this
if the rain
Has to separate from Itself
does it say
pick out your cloud

~Tori Amos

848365  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-09-03
Written: (4120 days ago)

Please forgive me If I have oversteped the limit... There is no way to reach you anymore... It is your birthday today and I have followed that way to say "happy birthday"...I know your decision about me and I cant do anything except respecting you and accepting reality...I have already forgetten your words that have broken my heart but they have also helped me to find a way I can bear with...This is life,its very self...I am really so lucky because you have added lots of wonderful things to me and If you ask me that all is enough, my answer will be yes.Thank you so much for wonderful times you have shared with me, for the way you have tried to teach me, for your loving friendship you have laboured...I am thanking you with all my heart...Happy birthday dear friend!~from an old friend
<img:http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k208/banuyagci/happy_birthday.jpg>

847042  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-31
Written: (4123 days ago)

la bohème

je vous parle d'un temps
que les moins de vingt ans
ne peuvent pas connaître
montmartre en ce temps-là
accrochait ses lilas
jusque sous nos fenêtres
et si l'humble garni
qui nous servait de nid
ne payait pas de mine
c'est là qu'on s'est connu
moi qui criait famine
et toi qui posais nue

la bohème, la bohème
ça voulait dire on est heureux
la bohème, la bohème
nous ne mangions qu'un jour sur deux

dans les cafés voisins
nous étions quelques-uns
qui attendions la gloire
et bien que miséreux
avec le ventre creux
nous ne cessions d'y croire
et quand quelque bistro
contre un bon repas chaud
nous prenait une toile
nous récitions des vers
groupés autour du poêle
en oubliant l'hiver

la bohème, la bohème
ça voulait dire tu es jolie
la bohème, la bohème
et nous avions tous du génie

souvent il m'arrivait
devant mon chevalet
de passer des nuits blanches
retouchant le dessin
de la ligne d'un sein
du galbe d'une hanche
et ce n'est qu'au matin
qu'on s'assayait enfin
devant un café-crème
epuisés mais ravis
fallait-il que l'on s'aime
et qu'on aime la vie

la bohème, la bohème
ça voulait dire on a vingt ans
la bohème, la bohème
et nous vivions de l'air du temps

quand au hasard des jours
je m'en vais faire un tour
a mon ancienne adresse
je ne reconnais plus
ni les murs, ni les rues
qui ont vu ma jeunesse
en haut d'un escalier
je cherche l'atelier
dont plus rien ne subsiste
dans son nouveau décor
montmartre semble triste
et les lilas sont morts

la bohème, la bohème
on était jeunes, on était fous
la bohème, la bohème
ça ne veut plus rien dire du tout

Charles Aznavour

847038  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-31
Written: (4123 days ago)

IT’S ONLY LOVE
(John Shanks/Shelly Peiken)


IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO TURN A NIGHT INTO DAY
I'LL MEET YOU HALFWAY AND WE'LL SEE IT THROUGH
WE'RE JUST STANDING HERE
THERE'S ONLY ME AND YOU
DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T FEEL IT
CAUSE I FEEL IT TOO

WELL THESE DREAMS WE CAN USE
GOD'S GRACE IS LIVING PROOF
WE'LL TAKE THE TIME, AND GET IT RIGHT

SO COME ON, COME ON, COME ON
I KNOW WE CAN MAKE IT
I'll HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS
IT'S ONLY LOVE THAT KEEPS US STRONG
SO COME ON, COME ON, COME ON
SO MUCH WE'VE WASTED
WE'RE RIGHT WHERE WE BELONG
I'T ONLY LOVE THAT KEEPS US STRONG

NEVER TOO LATE TO FINALLY TAKE A SECOND CHANCE
AND I SAW MINE, WHEN I SAW YOU
EVERYTHING CHANGED THE MOMENT WE BEGAN AGAIN
OUR BROKEN HEARTS WERE PULLING THROUGH
SOMETHING REAL, SOMETHING CLOSE
HELPED US FEEL, AND LET US GO
SO HERE WE ARE, NOW WE KNOW


I HAVE BEEN A BEGGAR
AND YOU HAVE BEEN A FOOL
WE'VE BEEN LOST BEYOND REPAIR
BUT YOU HAVE TOUCHED MY SOUL
AND I HAVE BENT YOUR RULES
ONLY LOVE COULD SAVE US
SHOW US WHAT WE'RE MADE OF

~Joe Cocker

847033  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-31
Written: (4123 days ago)

I’M LISTENING NOW
(J.SHANKS / TONIO K.)

THERE WERE TIMES, I WAS SURE
EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE ALRIGHT
THE SUN WOULD SHINE, THE WORLD WOULD TURN
NO MATTER HOW, I LIVED MY LIFE
NEVER NEEDED ANYONE'S ADVICE
WELL THAT WAS THEN
TODAY I'M THINKING TWICE

I'M LISTENING NOW
TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT
TRYIN TO FIGURE IT OUT SOMEHOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW

WE ALL GOT OUR OWN PLAN
OUR OWN WAY TO EASE THE PAIN
WE ALL FIND OUR OWN MEDICINE
FROM BLINDING FAITH TO NOVACAIN
TO STOP THE WORLD
AND FILTER OUT THE NOISE
BUT SOONER OR LATER YOU'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO THAT VOICE

I'M LISTENING NOW
TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT
TRYIN TO FIGURE IT OUT SOMEHOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW


THERE WERE TIMES, I WAS SURE
EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE ALRIGHT
THE SUN WOULD SHINE, THE WORLD WOULD TURN
NO MATTER HOW, I LIVED MY LIFE
LOVES THE ANSWER JUST LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAID
COME ON BABY, TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE INSTEAD

~Joe Cocker

838896  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-08-15
Written: (4139 days ago)

Lionel Richie....HELLO!!!!


I've been alone with you
Inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips
A thousand times
I sometimes see you
Passing outside my door
Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
Because you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you


I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again
How mcuh I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello!
I've just got to let you know
Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let start by saying I love you


Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
Becuase I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let start by saying I love you

838894  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-08-15
Written: (4139 days ago)

Tori Amos song which is Sleeps With The Butterflies


Airplanes
Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net


You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy


Balloons
Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere


I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy

838891  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-08-15
Written: (4139 days ago)

Bob Dylan song which is one more cup of coffee


Your breath is sweet
Your eyes are like two jewels in the sky.
Your back is straight, your hair is smooth
On the pillow where you lie.
But I don't sense affection
No gratitude or love
Your loyalty is not to me
But to the stars above.


One more cup of coffee for the road
One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
To the valley below.


Your daddy he's an outlaw
And a wanderer by trade
He'll teach you how to pick and choose
And how to throw the blade
He oversees his kingdom
So no stranger does intrude
His voice it trembles as he calls out
For another plate of food


Your sister sees the future
Like your mama and yourself
You've never leardned to read or write
There's no books upon your shelf
And your pleasure knows no limits
Your voice is ilke a meadowlark
But your heart like an ocean
Mysterious and dark

767891  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-24
Written: (4282 days ago)

Can you cry because of anyone's pain?Is it possible thing you will believe in?Can you feel of that pain someone suffers?Well then, is it about empathy or anything else?

Yes, I have ever cried because of someone's sorrow...I have found out a mail within my book...It was sent by a friend who was my good friend...I have read it before but when I read it again, it made me so sorry and in pain...I have never lived them which were said by him...As a matter of fact, It is not possible to live same things...If you want to feel same emotions, you can...If you want to see same point following by someone, you can see...It is called as empathy but the thing I lived was different...When I firstly read it, I did not feel same emotions...It made me a little tense.Because I have supposed that he did not want to see me as an adult...So, It was a prejudgement. Yes, he has done this to me for several times...But this time I felt was my fault...Each words he has written were sorrowful...I have felt his pain in my heart and I have cried...I have alot of words for writting but there is something special for me...I hope I will tell him them one day...  

766771  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-22
Written: (4284 days ago)

One of The Four Noble Truths



The path to the End of Suffering: The path to end suffering is known as the Noble Eightfold Path. It is also known as the Middle Way.
766770  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-22
Written: (4284 days ago)

One of The Four Noble Truths



The End of Suffering: To end suffering, one must cut off greed and ignorance. This means changing one's views and living in a more natural and peaceful way. It is like blowing out a candle. The flame of suffering is put out for good. Buddhists call the state in which all suffering is ended Nirvana. Nirvana is an everlasting state of great joy and peace. The Buddha said, "The extinction of desire is Nirvana." This is the ultimate goal in Buddhism. Everyone can realize it with the help of the Buddha's teachings. It can be experienced in this very life.
764631  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-17
Written: (4289 days ago)

One of The Four Noble Truths



The Cause of Suffering: The Buddha explained that people live in a sea of suffering because of ignorance and greed. They are ignorant of the law of karma and are greedy for the wrong kind of pleasures. They do things that are harmful to their bodies and peace of mind, so they can not be satisfied or enjoy life.


For example, once children have had a taste of candy, they want more. When they can't have it, they get upset. Even if children get all the candy they want, they soon get tired of it and want something else. Although, they get a stomach-ache from eating too much candy, they still want more. The things people want most cause them the most suffering. Of course, there are basic things that all people should have, like adequate food, shelter, and clothing. Everyone deserve a good home, loving parents, and good friends. They should enjoy life and cherish their possessions without becoming greedy.

763735  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-03-15
Written: (4291 days ago)

One of The Four Noble Truths




Suffering: Everyone suffers from these things:
 Birth~ When we are born, we cry.
 Sickness~ When we are sick, we are miserable.
 Old age~ When old, we will have ache and pains and find it hard to get around.
 Death~ None of us wants to die. We feel deep sorrow when someone dies.


Other things we suffer from are:
 Being with those we dislike,
 Being apart from those we love,
 Not getting what we want,
 All kinds of problems and disappointments that are unavoidable.



The Buddha did not deny that there is happiness in life, but he pointed out it does not last forever. Eventually everyone meets with some kind of suffering. He said:
"There is happiness in life,
happiness in friendship,
happiness of a family,
happiness in a healthy body and mind,
...but when one loses them, there is suffering."

            ~Dhammapada

761957  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-03-11
Written: (4295 days ago)

Attavagga - The Self

If one holds oneself dear, one should protect oneself well. During every one of the three watches the wise man should keep vigil.

 The logged in version 

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