[Tigers and Trees]'s diary

1100730  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-11-16
Written: (3591 days ago)

Also, I have a kitten named Millie. She spits and hisses at other animals (aside of my sister's cat, Manic, and only because he has no claws or balls and therefore can not do much harm to her), but she absolutely loves people. She lives to be held and, funnily enough, loves to lay on cleavage. She also enjoys walking over keyboards and batting at the cursor on monitors. She will lay in my lap for hours and hours while I raid and/or play on the computer. When I open the fridge, she will run out to see what I am getting and then beg for a piece of turkey (which I will give to her... sigh, pleasures of a cat are so few). Cat nip is below her. It is meat or nothing. She looks like a little Reeses peanut butter cup. She's dark. Everyone said she was an ugly kitten and she turned into a really beautiful cat.

I love her as I loved Pan (RIP). She's also easier to accommodate... but cleaning that litter box sucks.

1100728  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-11-16
Written: (3591 days ago)

The passport has been received, the tickets bought, arrangements made. January 6th to the 20th I am off to enjoy the awesomesauce of England's finest. I'll be landing near London, and heading to Southampton.

I'll be hanging with Anthony, and we will both go to a "guild meeting" with our WoW goers, should we still be in the same guild we're in. And, yeah.

I found some lists of stuff to do in London and the like. I think I would like to visit Soho. I hear getting mugged is just part of the experience!

1089140  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2009-08-04
Written: (3695 days ago)

Yay crisis over. Both True and Hedda came to the rescue on that one.

But Patrick ended up sending me my laptop back, after I was sure he had chucked it. He also sent a bouquet of roses, some clothes and shoes I had on layaway at some store somewhere, and all the rest of my possessions that didn't quite make it into the bag as I scuffled to get things out of his apartment. He was also hasty to include a, 'I want you back' and a very detailed explanation of my feelings and how my mistakes were his fault and some other bullshit.

It's easy to be dumped. You feel like shit for a while, wonder if the time spent with them was a waste, then get some lesson out of it of what to do or what not to do and then you pick up after a couple days good as new. No problem.

The fucking sucky ass part is when they beg for you back. When they were the one to kick you out of their lives. But you're already over them. Fuck, you've moved on. And I'm too much of a pussy to say how I really feel until I can block out the emotion.

So he tried to 'fix' whatever we had left... logging into google chat, talking to me in Steam, joining L4D, sending me messages in World of Warcraft and trying to RP with me there (who the fuck RPs in WoW, aside of like, 3 people from every goddamn server? wtf), texting me all the time. Keeping tabs. Asking who so-and-so was whenever I'd play WoW, things like that.

He really did flip out. He went and bought me some engagement ring that cost 2 grand and told me to drive 4 hours to his place to accept it. WTF DUDE. When I said I had no money to be driving my truck places he folded but didn't let up. And then he proceeded to get into my email. And then called me at like 4 in the morning asking me about some conversation I had with someone. Then he said he wouldn't do that anymore, he wouldn't get into my things or be bothered by my blog, as long as I "came home" to him.

I told him to back off and he cooled for a bit, then told me one night he wanted me to come back and marry him and have his kids and shit. And that he took the ring back and got a better one for something crazy like 4.5 grand.

I started blogging and he got in a tiff over me saying I had interests in someone else, which resulted in another mid-morning phone call full of hysterics, which ended up with me getting frustrated and telling him I had no interest in going back; that I didn't want to mend our broken relationship. I haven't heard from him since and it's been a little over a week now.

I'm the one who fucked up. He thinks it's all his fault. Maybe it is. But even if I go back, nothing will change. I begged for a year to have a pet - a bunny, a cat, something to keep me company, because he worked 12 hour work shifts, plus errands, his daughter, and school. I got to see him for maybe an hour a day if he didn't study or sleep. I told him it fucking bothered me that his dining room went on useless and dusty. When I was gone he said I could have a pet; he said we'd go shopping for a dining room set. SORRY, but I'm already GONE. Maybe we should have discussed this BEFORE I left?

His house bugged me. It was black furniture. And Japanese. With swords. I bought some fridge magnets to hang up some pictures his daughter had drawn for us. He promptly removed them and let the pictures wither on the kitchen counter. That fucking bugged me. There were no pictures of him, his family, or his daughter, because he didn't like the way that looked. I do. I like that kind of thing. He wouldn't let me take pictures of him either. Ever. At all. We just weren't compatible that way.

Of course I miss him. The sex was outstanding, and when he wasn't bitching about some UFC fight or someone's incompetence or his job he was okay. I guess. Our conversations were usually about me and my potential and how I am wasting it.

As much as I'd love to be a college girl, I just want to be an at-home mom. Maybe when my kids are all grown up I'll pursue a career in something. Or become an editor, or something. I don't know. That isn't the lifestyle Patrick wanted in a woman. As much as I love being accomplished and productive, I can never see myself going very far in work related areas, simply because, to be honest, I am hard to work with. The lack of drama I have at home comes bursting out at work. I'm irritable, moody, and there are days where I just don't feel like getting out of my pajamas. Patrick could not just put some PJ pants on and chill. He had to be dressed, or whatever.

I don't know. It's 4 am and I am tired and it feels good to get that off my chest.

But I'm the one who fucked up and I got what was coming. And it honestly makes me feel like shit to think he misses me even a little, because I would rather him be angry with me.

1085622  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-07-06
Written: (3724 days ago)
Next in thread: 1085623, 1086057

What a goddamn bummer.

Patrick, the guy I had been living with for over a year, bought me a new laptop for my birthday (well, I chipped in 200 dollars for it as well). I went to WritersCo before the re-do and saved all those stories I had there to the laptop, and when we broke up he broke/took/dismantled/reformatted/magically made disappear my new laptop.

Which means I lost every one of those stories.


So bummed out...dammit.

1077078  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2009-04-30
Written: (3791 days ago)

Oh yeah. Let's not forget my bad credit score and inability to get a new bank account. I'm pretty much fucked for that. If I move back to Spokane, will I be stuck using the same bank in Oklahoma? What if something happens where I have to stop by the bank? I wouldn't even be able to accept checks or make deposits.

Seriously, what the fuck is with the world.

1077077  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2009-04-30
Written: (3791 days ago)

Sooo like I'm almost 20 now and it's weird to think about that because I went nowhere pretty fucking fast.

I miss living in Spokane. I don't want to go to school down here in Louisiana. I hear horror stories from Patrick (the guy I live with), and his classes and how retarded his teachers are and I just don't want to get involved. Plus, I am going to be honest, 85% of the people down here are black, and black people down here do not like small white girls who speak like a yank.

I've been living with my boyfriend Patrick for about a year now. I'm kinda tired of it. He has left for the week and I've realized I kind of like it better when he isn't around. not to mention I miss all my friends in Spokane, especially Remelisa and Matt :( Not to say I don't love the guy, but maybe we moved into things too fast? He has a 4 year old daughter and she easily grates my nerves. He treats me really well, and has taught me a lot. But he is a lot older than I am, and, well, our relationship will never lead to marriage or kids, because Patrick has been married and already has a kid. He doesn't want to be married again and he doesn't want anymore kids. So I don't really know why I'm still here, since I've known this for going on 10 months now. Maybe it's a dependency complex.

Patrick wants to take me even further South to, Florida, so he can go to school. He wants me to go to school and become an editor. He wants me to be... someone better, because apparently I am chalk full of potential (lawl?), but am too lazy and unmotivated to go anywhere. I don't think it's laziness and lack of motivation, I think it's just nerves, tbh. Maybe if going to class wasn't detrimental to my life span I'd go.

Anyway. I'm saving up my money. I'm going to be taking a trip up to Spokane for hopefully about two weeks at the end of August, to catch the flip side of Pig Out in the Park. Maybe if everything goes smoothly and I get a job transfer to a Justice in Spokane, I can move in with Remelisa around January of 2010 (that's when her lease will be about up and we can get a 2 bedroom), and start going to school with non-racist assholes.

Seriously. Black people are such fucking racists. I hate going anywhere down here... I don't want to wait until next January, but what other choice would I have? I love my job, and I don't want to leave it.


1045042  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2008-09-11
Written: (4022 days ago)
Next in thread: 1045248

Also, is there a way to turn off half this shit? God, it's like. Cluttered. And ANNOYING.

1045041  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2008-09-11
Written: (4022 days ago)

I am... busy...

Drop me a line?

1009463  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2008-02-03
Written: (4242 days ago)

Okay, I am pretty much finished with Blockbuster. This is my last week, only because I was convinced to do it. My boss has me scheduled for 40 hours (note: 10 more hours than what I am supposed to work), but it is very likely I will be working somewhere around 45 or more. My last paycheck said I had 80 hours clocked, plus 10 hours overtime. Which means, I worked way, way too much.

Also, I am sick of these fucking 8 o'clock in the morning meetings to clean Blockbuster and get my ass chewed out for not putting a movie in the right spot. Or whatever the fuck it is.

And Amy not showing up or calling for 2 weeks, and then begging for Dooley not to fire her... c'mon, can she be serious? What a crackwhore. He gave her more than enough time to show up and work, but she just made grief for everyone else.

But yeah. Two days off, which means I work the rest of the week. Damn, it sucks it sucks it sucks so hard.

991746  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-11-13
Written: (4325 days ago)

We're making out inside crashed cars,
sleeping through all our memories.

Turn off the lights,
And turn off the shyness.
'Cause all of our moves,
Make up for the silence.

And oh, the way
your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same.

This song dances around my head like a halo when I feel lonely.

961690  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-07-28
Written: (4433 days ago)
Next in thread: 978332

All these piercings young 14 year olds are getting piss me off.

When they're like 30 years old, what are they gonna do? Live on welfare and still be living in their parents houses, whining about their hair and cutting their wrists?

And yes, while I realize you can be totally respectable and have piercings, these guys are on the road to no responsibility and lots of whining.

They're 14, they shouldn't be getting piercings. They should take their adolescent age and wait until their like 18 or 20 before they decide to get tattoos or piercings. It's only so they can think about it fully.

A piercing can close up, but can leave a scar. I wouldn't want that, especially if I got tired of it after a while.

946861  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-06-09
Written: (4482 days ago)

They forgot Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony, and Scooby Doo :(.

(Born in 1989)

If you're the age 12 OR UNDER...you should not read this

and if you do, you should not repost this.

Just because you were born in '96 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.

Hell, if you were born in '92 or more, that just won't cut it either.

It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but four (or eight) conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it.

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this [ice ice _ _ _ _ ]


You remember watching:
-Ren & Stimpy
-Pinky and the Brain
-AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
-Rockos modern Life.
I remember every one of these. But they forgot a really important one... THE ORIGINAL SCOOBY DOO, HELLLOOO! You can't have the 90s without Scooby!

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air!

C'mon, Fresh Prince rocked. Will Smith!

You remember:
-Step by Step
-Family Matters
-Boy Meets World
-Sabrina The Teenage Witch
I loved Dinosaurs... NOT THE PAPA!

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
I remember that!

Before Bush.
Those were the days...

You remember reading "Goosebumps".
I used to get so afraid.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
On occasion.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
Totally. ... not.

when everything was settled by:
-rock paper scissors or
-bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or
-inky pinky ponky daddy had a donkey
- ennie meanie miney moe.
Okay, you totally forgot hanky panky.

when cops and robbers was a daily activity.
And tag. And lava monster.

when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

when we used to obey our parents.
ha, really?

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
I miss that show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
So way cooler than Captain Underpants.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together. ♥

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
I totally remember that.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
Haha, yeah.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
Number 3 was made kinda late... 1 and 2 were it, though.

You remember watching:
-The Magic School Bus
-Reading Rainbow on PBS.
Only in school.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
They aren't anymore?

You remember those Where's Waldo books.
I loooved those.

You remember eating Warheads.
And lemonheads!

You remember watching:
-the 1st Batman
-Ninja Turtles
-3 Ninjas movies.
Dude, don't forget The Karate Kid...

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
Surge... that was so way more awesome than mountain dew.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
Haha, yeah.

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
Those were so cool.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.
Oh yeah, I forgot what those were called... but yeah.

You played and/or collected "Pogs" :)
Oh my God I loved Pogs!

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
I had a GigaPet, a kitty one. Geena lost it :(.

. . . Furbies.
Yeah, that pretty much says it all.

"I love you... you love me" [ring a bell?]

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
Yeah, I didn't get a computer in the house until I was like 12.

And Windows 95 was the best.
My first computer was WIN 95, right after XP got released.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.
He was so coool!

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
Totally cute.

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
It sucked.

You collected those Beanie Babies.
Oh yeah :).

Not the emo ones!

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Gah that was so cool.

Lambchop's song never ended.
This is the song that never ends! It goes on and on my friiieeends!

The old dollar bills.
I miss them.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
And the gold ones!

You remember a time before the WB.
Yeah, definitely.

You collected all the Troll dolls.
they kinda scared me.

If you even know what an original walkman is.
It's not a CD player or an iPod shuffle.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
I wanted one.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.
I have sort of forgotten it over the years.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said.

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
Still do.

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
Well, we didn't go there to eat.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
I looved those... I never see those anymore.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .

Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .

Before MIKE JONES . . .
(which one?)

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .

Before Spongebob . . .

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.
I loved those...

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
Caller IDs were the shit.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
And on tapes!

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkman.
I remember requesting songs all the time.

When checking out drawing books and that one book about the rainbow fish from the library was THE cool thing to do.
And that game with the jewelery.

You had slap bracelets!

Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.

Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days . . . .

Post it with the year you were born in.


Pearly, this was possibly the coolest thing I have ever read. I remember EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT!!!

942444  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-05-25
Written: (4497 days ago)


(1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave

(2) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years

(3) The real reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have a screen name

(4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv

(6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job

(7) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling

(8) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends

(9) And.. you were too busy to notice number 5

(10) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was no 5

(11) & now you're laughing at your stupidity

934096  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-04-26
Written: (4526 days ago)

I love this song. It's so vivid and I can see all of it.

Annie's 12 years old
In two more she'll be a whore,
Nobody ever told her
It's the wrong way.

Don't be afraid with the quickness you'll get laid
For your family get paid
It's the wrong way.

I gave her all that I had to give,
I'm gonna make it hard to live.
Salty tears running down her chin
And it ruins up her make up
I never wanted

A cigarette,
Pressed between her lips
While I'm staring at her tits,
It's the wrong way.

Strong if I can,
But I am only a man,
So I take her to the can,
It's the wrong way.

The only family that she's ever had
Is her 7 horny brothers
And her drunk-ass dad.
He needed money
So he put her on the street,
Everything was going fine until the day that she met me.

Annie are you sad?
Wanna shoot your dad
I'll do anything I can
The wrong way.

We talked all night and
Tried to make it right,
Believe me shit was tight,
It was the wrong way.

Don't run away if you wanna stay,
Cause I ain't here to make ya', oh no
It's up to you what you really wanna do
Spend some time in America, dub-style

She'll give you all that she got to give,
But I'm gonna make it hard to live.
Big salty tears rolling down to her chin
And it smears up her makeup
I never wanted

So we ran away
And I'm sorry when I say
That straight to this very day
It was the wrong way.

She took a hike,
Don't matter if I like it or not
Because she only wants
The wrong way.

I gave her all that I had to give,
But she still wouln't take it, oh no.
Her two brown eyes are leaking like a sieve,
And it still ruins her makeup

927477  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-04-06
Written: (4545 days ago)
Next in thread: 927995

If you cut yourself, seek help.

Professional help.

924933  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-30
Written: (4553 days ago)

Wipe that smile off your fucking face
To be despised
To be loved
To be dreamt of
To be sought
I'm the inside of "I don't care"
Right in the middle
I'm right in the middle

Be my unholy
My one and my lonely

I wear scarves and hoods 'cause it's the only poker face that I've got left
And everything I love about you is a mess
Smash the mirror and break the palm reader's hands
I want to be better than I am.

924868  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-30
Written: (4553 days ago)
Next in thread: 924869

When you count how old your dreadlocks are, you know you need a haircut.

924537  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-03-29
Written: (4554 days ago)

I have a baby bunny.
I have tickets to see Fall Out Boy in concert.
I'm going to graduate.
I work in a bookshop.
My parents are supportive.
I'm graduating in June.

So why am I so fucking angry that someone stole my iPod? My life revolves around music... someone went through -my things-. They stole my iPod and 30 dollars from -my purse-. My things. MY THINGS.

What kind of person does a thing like that? Honestly?

Aside of the fact that I now have to save up money to buy a new one -- setting me back in both college funds...

I don't know. I'm an angry person.

911947  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-02-19
Written: (4592 days ago)
Next in thread: 923373

I have been very upset and gradually getting sicker for the past week.

Valentine's is the worst holiday of the year. I told him the gifts didn't matter and it was just that we love each other, but it was bullshit. I wanted a year with roses and chocolates and kisses and loves.

I wanted to be selfish.


907562  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-02-08
Written: (4603 days ago)


*shoots out windows, shoots out door. Byebye!*

Man that movie fucking rawked.

906580  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-02-05
Written: (4606 days ago)
Next in thread: 906598, 906608

I will be so pissed if someone takes my last Elftown name :|. Just in case I wanna change it back.

But no. This name makes me giggle.

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