I've come to the conclusion that "Bob" is a a**. Wasn't that sweet how he lied to me and Shannon.
I don't know how to say all this so I'm going to just pour out my thoughts.
First there's my friends. Most of them have turned their back on me. All but a few. A very few. I just finally found out who was just pretending.
Then there's "love."
I am in "love" with this guy lets call him Bob. So different than his real name. He might get a kick out of it though. I love him and I care about him alot. But the thing is we are both in relationships with different people. Silly right? If two people love each other shouldn't they try to be together. I thought that was it but apparently I'm wrong on this subjet just like every other. What is love? Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection. Looked it up. But why can't I have what I want when it comes to my personal life? I have no freakin clue. He said he loved me he said he cared. But why is he with her? Yeah. I have a boyfriend too. Not technically though. Not until the 10th. Thats cheap isn't it? Why am I dating Oliver when I don't care about him near as much as my "Bob". God. This is sorta funny.
My past has caught up with me. I thought I could trust one guy in particular here in Indiana and he throws it in my face.
For those who didn't know... I moved from Florida for one reason. To start my life over. Not get pitied on. I hated it. Everyone feeling sorry for me all the time. My mom got a divorce to her ex-husband because of me and my sisters. He did something no father should ever do. I hate him with a passion. I have to go to conseling because of him and through all the money my mom has paid for it I can't forgive him for it. I will never forget what he did. I can't. It's imprinted in my mind.
People have been feeling sorry for me ever since then. If you are one of those people don't bother talking to me ever again. I hate it.
For my friends that actually know exactly what I'm talking about... Erin... Shannon... Sammie... Rocco Ona... Mary Lynn... mostly people in Florida, thank you for helping me through this. I wanted to end all of it many times and you people helped me figure out that I can live above this. Thanks for everything.
I wish my life could end this very second. My mom never is there to listen to me.She ignores me all the time. She never has enough time to listen to me or my feelings. I wish i could die. I hate my life and mostly everyone and everything in it. Don't message me with yuor problems anymore anyone. I'm not a conselor and not your cre-taker so leave me alone.
I was asked out by a sweetheart and god I'm happy! And I think that I'm datin [Your Worse Nightmare]....he asked and I said yeah...