[MyAlterEgo]'s diary

1143127  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2011-10-16
Written: (2466 days ago)

I keep wondering why people feel the need to stereotype everyone else? There's stereotypes about anything you could possibly think of, right now I'm dealing with the "house wife" one. Why do people think that every wife should clean, cook, and take care of the kids? I love taking care of my daughter, but I hate to clean with a passion. I do clean, otherwise my house would look very disgusting, but if I would let things go for a while, and my house was dirty, people would automatically blame me, not my husband. Because it's myyyyy sole responsibility to clean everything, everyday, all the time. Ugh. I also love to cook, but sometimes, I just don't feel like it. I don't like being forced to do the same damn thing every day. And yet, I was called a bad wife because it had been a day or two since I cooked. It's not like we're starving here. Why do people do this to women?

1142638  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2011-10-05
Written: (2477 days ago)

So, I think I'm going to start writing my thoughts here as an outlet, rather than post bitter and sarcastic things on face book for people to criticize. I'm over stressed out, and it's hard not to freak out. I'm now working eight hours a day, five days a week. To many, this is not much. But for me, it's hard to balance along with my nine month old daughter, my husband, and my house. It's no secret that I despise having to clean. But I'm trying so hard to keep this place clean, and it's not working. Idk. Maybe I have like dirty little elves living under my couch that likes to tear the place apart as we sleep, but my place is never clean. I'm concerned about children services getting involved because I'm not a perfect parent, and I don't want to lose my little girl. Truth be told, my husband isn't great at picking up after himself, or cleaning at all. He'll help if I harass him about it, but that's it. I know he has a lot to juggle as well, since he's the one staying home with the baby while I'm at work, but dammit, that doesn't mean he's not responsible for this place as well. And I worry about the baby so much while I'm at work, because my husband isn't me, and as a mom, naturally I think no one can take better care of her than I can. And it's true, I am a better parent than him, he knows this. It's like he doesn't think this child care stuff through. Who would let a 9 month old baby crawl around on her parents bed alone, even for a second? I guess that's why she fell off. This would've never happened had I been home. I feel so guilty for leaving her to go to work, but we need the money. I can't NOT work, I have to go. I can't stand this. Opinions?

1119275  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-07-10
Written: (2929 days ago)

Don't you just hate those bitches that run their mouths about everything? It's almost a year later, and they still have shit to say? God put people like that here just to test my patience I swear. I mean seriously, I'm marrying her ex, and our baby is well on it's way. Don't you think she would find this to be a good time to throw in the towel, and maybe, just maybe be like "hey, I finally realize I'm not getting what I want, maybe I should quit being such a bitch, and leave them alone" but no. She still runs her mouth. God, I hate bitches.

1118446  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-06-23
Written: (2946 days ago)

Ok, so this seems like a good place to rant since I'm barely ever on here...

So, I'm almost 4 months pregnant, which is great. I used to think that I couldn't have kids, and here I am, expecting. I love the fact that I'm going to be a mommy, but some of it I just can't handle. The mood swings really fuck me up, especially since it's usually aimed toward poor Tim. I get really sad sometimes, and for no reason. I also get easily emotional, especially when Tim doesn't want to pay attention to me, its horrible. I hate being alone, I hate being bored, and I'm always hungry. The prenatal vitamins, and iron pills I'm on are nightmarish. They make me sick if I don't have the right amount of food in my stomach at the time I take them, then I end up in the bathroom, looking like the exorcist. I hate that it's summer, and there's tons of things I can't do anymore. No amusement parks, nothing remotely fun. I just get to sit on my ass, and watch everyone else enjoy themselves. It's frustration. Yet with all of this shit that comes with being pregnant, I can't describe how amazing it felt when I heard my baby's heartbeat. I know there's a little life in there that depends on me, and that's one of the brightest spots in this whole thing. I know it's going to be rough, but I'm hoping that I'll be a great mom.

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