[Mixednutt]'s diary

192928  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-04-12
Written: (4993 days ago)

Steven Newman's Philosophy on Existence

What is God? Well, there are two God's actually. The God that most people are acquainted with is the God that lives in the mind. He is the God who people turn to with their faith for a sense of purpose. He is the God that people pray to at night. He is the God who thinks like we do. He is the God who is a product of the human spirit. We need a God, so he is the God we create in our minds. He is also a God who we humans draw great strength of mind from. The ancient Romans called him Zeus and he had many different counter parts. The Christians call him Yahweh and say that he gave the world Jesus. This God has many, many names, but he is the God created from the human psyche, and is a representation of the human need to believe in something greater than itself. He is not an actual real entity.

The second God is the creator of the universe. The second God is the uncaused cause. The second God is the cause for existence to be set into motion. The second God is the original thing that existed, the thing which nothing existed before, and this God went on to create the universe to unfold in the way which it has unfolded up until now, and will keep unfolding into our unpredictable future. Does this God have a mind, and intellect? And does it desire us to worship him? I would say that is highly unlikely, but nobody can say anything about this God for sure. This God created the Big Bang, and science has proven that it is impossible to determine anything about the universe before the time of the Big Bang. Scientifically this God must exist, however I doubt we will ever gain a concept of what it actually is, or was. It could be infinitely simpler, or more complex than we ever dreamed. We will never know.

When you look at a butterflys beautiful patterns on its wings, one might wonder why on earth it was given such a beautiful tapestry on it's body, but when the butterfly lands on a flower and becomes indestinguishable from the delicate petals of the flower, the butterflys pattern makes sense. The wings make the insect blend in with the flower while it feeds on the delicious nectar. So in context with it's purpose, something which once was a mystery suddenly makes abundant sense. One can look at religion in the same way. The God which humans believe in is not real. So what purpose does religion serve? It gives people a moral, caring center. Religion, or the belief in a God who created us all gives people a sense of oneness as a whole, and so we work together for our collective future which is the reason that human beings have been able to prosper so well and live the easy life. Religion is the pattern on our butterfly wings, and society is the flower. 

I personally believe that we people are smarter now than when we created religion, and I don't believe that we need to decieve ourselves to continue living. We can see the benefit that religion has given us, then with our scientific intellects we can figure out a belief structure which can carry us into the future on the wings of truth, because truth holds infinite beauty which still has yet to be seen.

192031  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-04-12
Written: (4994 days ago)
Next in thread: 192207

Ok, I've been spending a lot of time lately trying to get into touch with exactly why, or for what purpose I wish to make a comic book. I don't just want to throw together some entertaining images of chicks with big boobs and guys with huge pecks duking it out with futuristic weapons, loosely held together by a thin plot. I originally started the idea of creating a comic as a way to take advantage of my mind. I have such a thick mask. I'm always so alone, yet I won't let anyone in. Nobody understands how complicated my mind is because I don't know how to share it with them. But I could share it if I created a comic which was based off the thoughts which my mind entertains. In other words, it's the only way I can release my soul.

So what does my soul have to say? Well, I have spent so much of my life reading books about physics, quantum mechanics, philosophy, and consciousness. The whole time I felt like I was working toward an answer, the question being, "Why do I exist?" Well, maybe it's a little more complicated than that. My father commit suicide when I was 3, so perhaps I am just a child whose father killed himself, asking "Should I exist?" The eventual answer I came to was YES. Why should I exist? Because it's better than nothing.

I believe that is the basis of my philosophy. Take a lesson from a tree. Does it question whether or not it should exist? No, a trees confidence about it's own existence is prevelent in the mere fact that it maintains its own existence. Once you exist, there is no question about whether or not you should be here. "Should" is an imaginary word created by humans who wished to impose their own will over others. I exist to maintain and improve my own existence, and if I do that right then I will also be working to maintain and improve the existence of others. I believe this is the simple will of the universe, and it is the answer that we get further away from the more we question our own existence. 

But I do not want to confuse anyone. I believe that we humans are doing the right thing by questioning the universe and ourselves. The universe did create us after all. We are just a manifestation of the forces which control the universe. I like to think of us ( humans) as the product of the universes evolution toward filling up time. But I'm sure that concept only makes sense to me. Regardless, we are just a point on the evolution of the universe, and the universe can only unfold one way, therefore everything is right. Everything is right because the universe will only unfold one way, and we are on that way. We should just be thankful that we have been given the sensation of happiness so that we can appreciate existence ^_^

My favorite part about my philosophy is the fact that it doesn't change anything. Today was ok because it couldn't have been any other way, and so will be tomorrow.

190243  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-04-10
Written: (4995 days ago)

Ok, so check this out: One of the largest reasons for me to finally start creating a comic was my desire to share my philosophy on reality with other people through a potable medium. So rather than sounding like a jackass who spouts off his opinions at the drop of a hat, I want people to be entertained by what I write, then think back on it and realize it has an intelligent message as well.

Well, I just realized that I don't even have a philosophy on reality yet, so then I had a nervous breakdown and died... YAY! Well, actually I've got a lot of philosophy churning about my brain, but none of it is connected. They are all a bunch of seperate projects which my brain jumps back and forth from, but my mind never spends all of it's time on one concept alone. This makes it rather difficult to figure out what I believe. I pulled a string, then the woolen sweater which represents my existence (Soft and fluffy, and oh so fun to wear) began to unravel. I guess it's kinda frustrating. Everytime I get a good idea and start writing, I get tripped up on something and realize that I still have a long way to go. We'll get there someday, though. You'll all see.

108107  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2003-12-03
Written: (5124 days ago)

My father committed suicide. He did so when I was just a small child. The implications didn’t sink into my skull, though I was affected. He was a man living with one foot in the door, and the other out the door, then one day he took both feet out the door by pulling the trigger of a gun that was pointing at his own head. I don’t know what was going on in his head. Was it confusion? Was it enlightenment? I don’t know. All I know is that since my father committed this act, I have been told that I am more likely to commit it myself, like some horrible tradition. I don’t want to, but sometimes I feel the same way, like I’m living life with one foot in the door and one foot out the door, and if it becomes to much for me to handle, then I myself could just take that other foot out the door, though I wouldn’t shoot myself because I’d want it to be an open casket funeral. As you can tell, I’ve already thought about it more than I should.

All that matters to me is expressing my self through art, finding a way to allow people to understand me, when truly I don’t even understand myself. The images that I pull from the well of my psyche are perplexingly un-interpretable. My brain is a massive wad of images which don’t make sense to me, and in all of this I have found the skill of putting these images on paper for everyone else to see. I think this is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. It makes me into something un-definable, a warrior on a journey down a path with no signs.

107762  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2003-12-02
Written: (5125 days ago)
Next in thread: 181731

Still grasping for that ever elusive nich into the comic world. I want to be the best. I want to make a comic so visually pleasing that people would want to buy it just to look at the pictures. And I want the art to be matched only by the quality of writing. I want to tell a tail so strange that you have no idea what's going to happen next, but you crave it. I want it to totally take you out of your world, and put you into mine. IT'S SO DIFFICULT THOUGH!

I'm 21 now, will it ever happen?

 The logged in version 

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