[Lizisthebest]'s diary

717209  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-12-18
Written: (5047 days ago)

Have you ever been thinking about something
then have your whole mind go blank
have the image in you head to white
and vanish away


wanting the image back you think hard
only to have several images flood your mind
coming in with incredible speed
until your whole mind if black


switching back inbetween the two
not being able to think of one thing
not having the image that you so yearn for
have you ever had this


it happens to me all the time
as my mind will alter
going from black to white
from white to black


as this ever happened to you
or am i the only
am I different from everyone else
or am i the same as everyone else

707308  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-11-30
Written: (5065 days ago)

I don't know what to think
I don't know what to do
Should I let it happen
Or Should I say screw you

707230  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-11-29
Written: (5066 days ago)

In a time of descecrance
In a time of pain
all we can do is look forward
as the past will kill us all

The past is where the memories lie
The future is where the memores to come are
I don't want any of this
I don't want the pain

Why don't I just die away
Slit my wrists and lay in tub
Let all of my pains wash away
Let the blood pour out from within

I can't look back
I can't look forward
The only way is up or down
and those won't take me anywhere

Let the tears run down my cheeck
and tell everyone that I'm ok
its just another lie
To make others feel fine

Lately it would seem that I can't make anything right
I just fuck it all up
Then say goodnight
I don't want this pain
But I don't want to die

Death is an answer
But I don't know the question
and without the question
I can't find another answer

I want out of this life
Want my soul to take over
Let my body rot
beneath the clover

682887  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-10-16
Written: (5110 days ago)

YAY im so happy, even though I hafta work today and I absolutely hate working there, today at the moment is like one of the best days I've had in a while.

The only thing that could make it like soooo much better is if she was here with me. But she's not and I can't see her till tomorrow oh well lets just hope im in this good of a mood tomorrow :)

681863  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-10-14
Written: (5112 days ago)

Surrounded by the darkness
Wishing that there was a light
But all places have a light at the end of them

Searching in this eternity ive put myself in
Searching for the love I so wish I had
Hoping that someone can show me the light

A voice is heard in the darkness
"Let the passion of your heart ignite the fire in your soul"
But I know of no passion within my heart
No fire in my soul

Anytime I think I hsve found the love I search for
I always get thrown back into this cycle
This cycle of love and heartbreak
A cycle of pain and passion

But the voice is heard again
"Let the passion in your heart ignite the fire in your soul"
I wish not to find the passion
For with passion comes pain
The agonizing pain I wish to never feel again

"Search for the passion for the pain will not be felt"
The voice in hidden within the darkness yet again.
The darkness seems to be my only companion
But where does the voice come from

The voice come at me again
"Look deep inside yourself, you will find the one you love"
The voice is just an illusion inside of my head
But why not take its advice look for the love I search for
I have searched for an eternity never to find it
But the voice has never been heard before now either

Looking at all sides I see nothing at all
And cannot find this love I search for
"Don't give up its right in front of you, reach out take it"
How can one take love with the grasp of a hand
I want to reach out
But I think I will find and feel nothing

"Take it, reach for it, its right in front of you"
The voice seems to becoming closer to me
Why not reach for it
If I don't I may never find my love

Slowly extending my hand I feel nothing
"Further just a little further, and remember only the passion in your heart can ignite the fire in your soul"
The passion, yes the passion I want yet fear
I extend my arm as far as I can

Feel the warmth of another person on the palm of hand
I slowly grasp her arm and pull her closer to me
The area becomes brighter, ever so brighter
As see comes into the light
I can barely see her
But from what I can see she is the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes upon
But before I can see her fully
I light dissapears and I awaken

As I awaken I have only one thing left in my mind
"Remember, let the passion in your heart ignite the fire in your soul. I'll be waiting for you to find me, for I have been searching for as long as you have."

Awakening from my eternal dream.
To be put into another
But in this eternity I can see
And I now no not to give up on my search
I can find her, I will not stop searching until I have

I know there is someone out there for me
I and I will find her
No matter how long it will take
This cycle of love and heartbreak will end now
I only have one love in my eyes
Even though I know not wut she looks like

I thought my search would end when I foudn the light
But truthfully it has only begun
I will not let go of this passion for the unknown being
For I wish not to lose my light again

681318  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-10-13
Written: (5113 days ago)

ok well just to keep this avaliable im taking this she knows about it let the passion in your heart ignite the fire in your soul

thanx to dani778 for this :)

675159  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-10-02
Written: (5124 days ago)

w00t I just love the little situations I get myself stuck into, this world just keeps getting better and better by the day.

I don't know what I am doing, I mean I want to, I should have but at the same time I dont want to. This world sucks monkey goats.

Well at least my list seems to have gone down to 2, only because I havent really talked to one of them in a bit

674514  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-10-01
Written: (5125 days ago)

Fucking hell I hate this god dam piece of shit world...these week was a good week between me and my one friend but other than that it has been crap...I can't fucking decide I have no idea what to do, and on top of it all I did thee stupidest fucking thing and told someone(nameless) something I shouldn't espcially at this point in time for the both of us...

I WANT OUT OF THIS FUCKING WORLD

657014  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-08-31
Written: (5156 days ago)

The entire time is all but lies
I know she doesn't love me
no matter how hard she tries
when its all over
she'll say we are still friends
but i still know
she's just trying to meet ends

We say that we will see each other
although i want to
I know she wont even bother
I knew there was something wrong
but it was only a one time thing
I didn't know about her
yet it seemed to really sting

I barely knew her at the time
but i had known her forever
I feel like I have commited a crime
we should have only been friends
she seems to have dealt with alot of pain
pain that should never have been from me
and it seems that there wouldn't even be a gain

She had to break up with him
all because of me
it makes me feel all so grim
all because of that one time
I should never have done that
I am so stupid
Really I should be wearing a dunce hat

I didn't know she had a boyfriend
and I fucked it up for them
I knew she was only a friend
I shouldn't have done what I did
It was only a kiss
yet I know
That im really going to pay for this



I've lost a friend maybe forever all because i was stupid enough to give that one kiss... because of me she broke up with her boyfriend, and we may never talk again, I passed her by and she couldn't even look at me. How could I ever be so stupid to do this.

In memory of my lost friendship and my stupidity.

Steve

655045  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-08-28
Written: (5159 days ago)

im drunk and im getting tired, i dont know wut else i should write here

653211  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-08-25
Written: (5162 days ago)
Next in thread: 711207

omg i feel so stupid I wrote a really stupid lame poem to someone I don't even know...omg i feel so stupid right now...i should go to bed soon

 The logged in version 

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