[HiddenFire]'s diary

1012084  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2008-02-15
Written: (3925 days ago)

The newest version of the AWSOM Pixgalleyr for WordPress has been released. After installing it on my website, visitors are now able to comment on individual images. This is huge! It means that the functionality of my site is finally just about equal to that of Elfwood. I love EW... but the limitations on the type of art allowed is a little restricting. I like to be able to goof off and do whatever the heck I want with my own site.

If you haven't seen my artwork go ahead and check it out at:
http://www.chimericfire.com/artwork/

1002376  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2008-01-02
Written: (3970 days ago)

I'm really pleased with the way one of my newest websites is doing. http://www.freetrafficworks.com is really starting to gain in popularity.

I started up the site specifically to offer a way for every day people to find free traffic generating resources, rate them, and advertise their affiliate links at the same time. The concept is VERY powerful. I could have developed the site simply show people which services they should consider by writting articles and rating services while showing just my affiliate links. In that way I would have been able to build just my downlines from affiliate links. But that was never my intention. I wanted to give people the ability to build their downlines for these services for free.

With that simple premise, I threw together a site, banged out some graphics, and hammered at some code until I managed to patch a decent website structure together. So far things are moving right along.

If things continue as they are, in five months Free Traffic Works will have 2,000,000+ visitors every month! Currently only .6% of the visitors are becoming members (3 out of 500). But that still means 12000+ new members every month!

I'm already begining to dominate the market in certain long tail keywords and hopefully the more services we evaluate, teh better our ranking.

I really have a good feeling about this site. It has amazing potential to earn me a ton of real, targeted traffic as well as some extra income from affiliate sales. The best part is that it also has the capacity to do the same for EVERYONE who joins! I'm really fired up about it. I just can't wait to see how this pans out. I'm already loving the success I'm having. Although I'm not currently making any money off of this, traffic is really starting to build and it's only a matter of time before the cash starts rolling in.

The snowball is building and soon we'll have an avalanche on our hands.

998978  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-12-15
Written: (3987 days ago)

I've got a new poll. I figured most of my demented friends might get a kick out of it:
http://www.elftown.com/member.html?membernr=33003&show=poll

997289  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-12-06
Written: (3996 days ago)

Elftown is selling their new t-shirts! Awesome stuff. I was thinking about getting some for the holidays but I don't have any friends on ET that I also have here in RL.

However, I do sell plenty of my own t-shirts and products on cafepress as well. I've actually bought a ton of stuff already... and so have other members of my family. I'm not making much money off the sales but I'm getting the word out there that I exist!

If you happen to have a warped sense of humor... especially if it is dark, disturbed, or otherwise twisted. You'll get a kick out of some of my work.
http://www.chimericfire.com/announcement/holidaydeadline07/

992431  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-11-15
Written: (4017 days ago)

I just started up a new website! I really have gotten bit hard by the web authoring bug. http://www.freetrafficworks.com is an affiliate website that is set up to advertise member's affiliate URL's. It is set up in a cyclic redundant manner so that it uses each referral to build its traffic even more, which builds traffic for each referral. It sounds complicated but it works pretty well for me, I would imagine that it would work pretty well for other people too.

With the comment exchange: http://www.commentexchange.org
and ChimericFire: http://www.chimericfire.com
That makes 3 websites in the past 3 months (the latest two created within days of each other).

Seriously, web authoring is like crack to me. It is SO addictive. For the first time in a long time, I am being challenged on a daily basis. I have to actually think about problems and postulate solutions. It's so much fun. I love to problem solve! I really wish I was getting more traffic though. I am going to be pimping out freetrafficworks really strong for a while... that reminds me, I need to get around to developing banners for that site... That shouldn't be too hard. The hardest part is trying to think about where to begin.

991778  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-11-13
Written: (4019 days ago)

I just got done compiling and setting up a new website: http://www.commentexchange.org

It's a site dedicated to increasing comments on EW and DA galleries. I may extend it to also work for other gallery sites as well as possibly working for blogs.

It's doing OK so far. I just need to get some members signed up... which means I need to set up a few people as admins and then we need to systematically go through and let all our current members at comment exchange know that we're moving the site.

The hope is that everything will be MUCH easier for people to participate as well as update/search. I've got big hopes and dreams for this site. It could really take off.

It's already ranked #1 on google for the search "comment exchange" and #9 overall (if you count all major search engines). This is also without but a handful of linkbacks that I've established. Imagine how well it will be ranked when every member links back to it's pages! This is going to be huge, I just know it!

And it better be for what I spent on the domain name registration. It wasn't much... but I still want to feel like my time and money where well spent.

If you're a DA or EW artist or writer, come check it out. You won't be disappointed.

990328  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-11-08
Written: (4025 days ago)

I’m finally done with my advanced animation final. It took quite a bit of time and energy but I think I managed to do it fairly well. This is what those pesky fairies get for trying to wake up sleepy children in the middle of the night.

http://www.chimericfire.com/artwork/fairy-swat/

986307  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-10-24
Written: (4039 days ago)

Another strange dream this morning. Let me start off by saying that I have crazy abilities in my dreams. One of which is the ability to teleport/time travel. In this particular dream I was trying to get somewhere else, anywhere else. So I went into my closet. There was a door at the back of it that was supposed to lead to another room. I turned my back to it, closed my eyes, opened the door and fell backwards through it. I fell like nothing was there to stop me. I fell through the floor and tumbled through space. I eventually landed on a smooth carpeted surface, very gently I might add. I stood up and looked through the door through which I had passed, I could see the closet and the room from which I came. However, turning around I realized that I was indeed somewhere else. I had created a portal that bridged two places by this doorway.

To read the rest:
http://www.chimericfire.com/blog/dream-journal/dimensional-travel-and-the-stranger/

978284  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-09-23
Written: (4070 days ago)

Wow, I haven't been on in a good long while. I've been so freaking busy with everything that I haven't had time... Well, lets just get everyone up to date:

I am married now. Living back in Texas with my In-laws... that particular facet is no fun... but at least the rent is cheap and they cook occasionally. I work at Kinko's... which is fairly stressful and doesn't really pay that much. But I do my job well, and we get by. I am attending The Art Institute Online where I am trying to get my bachelor's degree in Game Art and Design. I should be graduating in 2009.

I haven't been doing much artwork until just recently. I purchased some web space and invested a bit of time into a new site:
http://www.chimericfire.com is the site. It contains my artwork (replacing my old gallery at http://ngal.fateback.com) and it now houses a blog as well. It's not too shabby. I also FINALLY got around to selling prints and products of my artwork at CafePress. Everyone was always so interested in things like "Got Blood?" and "Sometimes... Puppies Just Die." that I figured there might be a few more who might be interested. No sales as of yet, but I'm still hoping. And heck, I'm buying up a ton of my own products just because I think they're cool.

I'm really looking forward to putting more time and effort into chimeric fire. It's been fun so far. I'm also thinking about moving the commentexchange to it's own domain, with membership, newsletters, and everything. I don't know how well it would work... but it could be fun too. If I made it a subdomain of chimeric fire then I wouldn't have to pay any extra. But my host only costs about $7 a year for a domain. I could probably get it for $2 a year, if I wait for a sale. I don't know though... I don't want to put any time or effort into the comment exchange if it isn't going to take off. The one here is sadly almost dormant.

I've got several other ideas for projects but I don't have much time to execute any of them. There are so many websites I want to start, so many services I want to offer, and just not enough time, energy, or knowledge to execute them all. It's rather frustrating... It's the ADD really, far too many interests, my mind goes every-which-a-way. Fun stuff.

Well... I think that just about covers everything. I probably won't be back to do much else... although I certainly try.

~Nathaniel

644797  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-08-12
Written: (4842 days ago)
Next in thread: 645079

My computer was up and running for a little while... but then it bit the big one and I've been replacing the parts as my income will allow. Currently all I need is a power supply to run the motherboard and we're all set.

I suppose I should give you all an update as to what is happening with my life at the moment, seeing as how I've been almost entirely absent for quite some time... so here it is:

I got a job at FedexKinko's and have been working there with no complaints. It pays decently and the people I work with are tollerable. My manager is more than a little ditsy but I deal with it. School has been rather uneventfull... although I did manage to make all A's last quarter.

Now for the big stuff:
I'm moving back to Dallas in a little over a month. Yep, moving to go live with my dearest Mary, who will soon thereafter become my fiance'. That's right, I'll be getting married. Yes I allready know what her answer will be, if I wasn't 100% sure I wouldn't even ask. But I'm not done with school yet... so I'll be finishing up the last 2 years of my schooling online. Financially it's just more sound (I'm trying to come up with reasons why I should move there that aren't "I miss my baby" o.0... makes it easier to justify. ~_^)... so let me see... we'll be living together... so that means the cost of living will go down, I should be able to work full time, so that means more money... Online classes are cheaper, so less loans to pay off when I get out of school... We won't have to be spending so much money on plane tickets, and I'll only be a $40 plane flight from family instead of $120... and of course, I'll be MUCH happier when I get to see m'lady on a regular basis instead of a few days every few months. All in all it's a good deal. Online classes will probably be harder... but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work.

So dispite the fact that I'm still in computer-less hell right now, and dispite the fact that I haven't been able to draw anything for myself, or even mess around online... dispite the fact that I no longer have time to live... I'm happy. Soon enough I'll be able to live again. Out here, I'm merely surviving... and that just isn't enough. There is more to life than survival.

On that note, I probably won't be spending much time around here... but if my computer gets back up and running I might have enough time to start working with the comment exchange some more... possibly set it up with it's own website.

That's about all I have to say for now... I've probably forgotten quite a bit... but a lot has happened lately.


Everyone wish me luck. I'm going home. ^_^

571583  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-05-10
Written: (4936 days ago)

My computer is still dead... I've been using my roommates computer when I can... but it's not mine, so I can't very well demand it whenever I choose. But there have been a few developments that I suppose you all might want to hear about:

I'm making plans to get my wonderful woman moved out here. Since we decided that we will not live together unless we're at least ingaged... I'm sure you can figure that one out. No we're not officially engaged... I haven't proposed yet (unless you count when I was pestering her back in middle school) and she doesn't have a ring... but that will be a little while longer. She knows I plan on doing it... just not when. We're looking to move her out here around christmas...and we'll be maried by that next june... that's the plan anyway.

I did FINALLY get a job. I work at FedexKinko's now. It's a pretty easy job, I just help people with the printers and fix paper jams. It's not difficult at all. I work abou 23.5 hours a week at $7,8 an hour... so it's not bad at all. So that means I'll be making about $600 a month. Considering that my budget is only $250 a month, I'm going to do just fine. Now all I have to worry about is the fact that I only have $24 to last me until next monday... that's a week away. I don't know how I'm going to do it... but I suppose I'll just have to try.

The family is all doing allright. Things are going decently well. These next few weeks will be a little tough... but I'll get by.

554377  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-04-17
Written: (4959 days ago)
Next in thread: 554725
548789  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-04-12
Written: (4964 days ago)

Update:
Computer is toast. Hard drive = paperweight.
Car is better... but still sick. Battery replaced, runs... for now. Alternator is crapping out and only produces enough power to keep the engine running... beyond that and it drains the battery. (Battery was $50... new alternator will run me at least $200... and I am broke.)
Mary and I have resolved our issues. ^_^ (gotta put in one happy note... otherwise you'll think I'm whining. o.0)
Family doing great.
Mary not doing so well... bad luck day for her as well.
Probably am not going to get the job at Chick-Fil-A but I'm starting to get annoyed with them. They keep blowing me off when I ask for an update.
I need to keep looking for a job... but I'm more than a little depressed and it hard to be motivated when you're this down.

Things aren't so bad. I'm doing reasonably well. I just need to get my life in order, get a job, and set myself straight and there we go. But that's MUCH easier said than done. o.0

546688  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-09
Written: (4967 days ago)

How have I been?

I'm not so good. I'm still next to broke and trying to find a job... I just went through hell trying to get my phone working... I moved to a new appartment and Cox was supposed to move the phone service over... all they did was turn it off. I just got my phone back today (saturday) and I haven't had phone service since tuesday! I may have had a potential employer try to call me... in which case... I probably won't get the job. I'm having serious issues with my Girl at the moment... and not having a phone hasn't helped (since she lives in Dallas Texas and I in Phoenix Arizona... 1107.7 miles apart). My dad is probably going to lose his house because the bank is evil and won't talk to him when he asks how much he owes on the loan... they won't talk to the bankruptcy lawer either... My computer has taken a nose dive. I thought it had a virus but now I think my hard drive is failing... either that or there is a virus in my boot sector. If it's either (and it's one of the two) that hard drive is toast. Which blows because it's an expensive 120GB! And now when I have only $50 in cash and $70 available on my credit card my car decides to die... my batery is definately dead, but the real problem could be with my alternater. Which means that now I have to walk at least 30min a day to and from school and now my job search has become much more limited in possible areas due to my having to walk to them now.

How Have I been? Fine really. I'm still healthy. I'm alive. I'm not too hungry. I've got a place to sleep. My Girl and I are having issues but I'm still glad I've got her. Family is doing as well as can be expected. We're all starting to move on with life after the death of Mom. I've got a lot going wrong at the moment... but really, I don't think I've got it so bad. Or at least I'll keep telling myself as much... it's funner to be delusional... and if I dwell on the negative and minimize the positive I'll only throw myself into a cold dank pit of depression. ^_^

If I'm right and my luck behaves as I beleive it does... things will start to turn around soon. My luck seems to be constantly trying to find a ballance. It decides I don't have enough so it gives me things, then it decides I have too much so it starts to take things away... almost as if to teach me a lesson. I don't want for much and I appreciate what I have... if I haven't learned anything else from life, I've got that much down. :/

528363  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-03-21
Written: (4986 days ago)

On top of eveything that's happened... and with finals on my heels... my computer has decided to die. It's either a virus or my hard drive has decided to crap out on me... knowing my computer... it could be either... or both. In any case, don't expcet me to be on for a while. I'll only be dropping in periodically from school... and it won't be often at all.

518852  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-03-11
Written: (4997 days ago)

There is more to come... but this is rather taxing and I don't think I can do this all at once.

522466  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-03-04
Written: (4993 days ago)

Friday:

Not a whole lot happened. We went over to granny and granddads for a while... but Mary and I just couldn't stand all those people and all that ham. Ham was just about the only thing we had been eating this whole time. The Harrel family knows how to make a ham and we all love ham... but not that much. I want to think that something like five whole hams where made up for the occasion... and we went through all of them. In any case we had to get away from it all... so we decided to walk down to the Dairy Mart and get some chicken strip dinners. I do so love their chicken strip dinners. We sat and ate... Mary, my little sister, and myself at the dairy mart and one of my sisters friends joined us for a bit.

After a while we went back to Granny and Granddads and Mary looked at some photo albums... more embarrassing pictures of me. Apparently there are a lot of them.

Before long we where heading back home for the night. After everyone was asleep Mary and I where hungry... having not eat much since our chicken stip dinners. We had a little left over so we decided to heat it up in the microwave first. I figured that 10 seconds would be enough... Mary sat up on the counter and waited. But 10 seconds wasn't long enough... chicken was still cold. So I stuck it in for 20 seconds (chicken in the microwave). We started kissing to pass the time. I caught her a little off guard because I wanted to bite her lip... she thought I was trying to stick my tongue in her mouth... but then the time ran out and the timer beeped. But again the chicken was still too cold. I stuck it in for 30 seconds more and we started kissing again. This time she stuck her tongue in my mouth. I was going to be a gentleman... I respect her. But she made the move and in my mind it works like this "well... she just did it, That's all the permission I need." And we started making out. There where a few other instances of this... but I dont really need to go into detail. Basically the chicken strip dinner went uneaten... our appetites craved something else at the time. To make a long (and I do mean long) story short we made out and groped each other for more than three hours on the kitchen floor. We had to move to the floor because neither of us could stay standing. By the end of the night she was full of butterflies, but I was in horrible shape. I was extremely hot but shivering like I was eppeliptic... not to mention the fact that I was in so much pain that I could barely walk.

After taking care of a few things and finally getting to bed... I slept like I was dead. We had to sleep in seperate places for two reasons. One, my sisters friend invited herself over to spend the night... and two, I wanted to make sure that we could control ourselves after all that.

521714  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-03-03
Written: (4994 days ago)

I've got to get this stuff down before it fades from my memory. Allready I'm having things blur considerably. My memory has never been good.

Thrusday:

Woke up early and went to my grandparents house for breakfast. The whole day was more of less dedicated to our getting ready for the funeral. I shaved and fixed my hair... we all got dressed up. The animal care clinic where my mother worked was kind enough to buy our clothes... otherwise I would have been wearing jeans and a decent shirt... instead of actual dress clothes.

We went over and ate lunch at the church. We visited with people and just generally hung out and told stories. Again I got hugs from everyone... I don't really like to be touched but I tollerated it.

After a while we went over to the church for the funeral. The immediate family sat in front and mom's sisters and family sat right behind us. They also let Mary sit with them... which was good because she was right there to be able to put her hand on my shoulder. We sang songs and the preacher gave a sermon. Then at the end they moved mom close to the door and had everyone see her on the way out. We got to see her last. I remember being up near mom and I had Mary under my left arm, and my sister under my right and I said "here's my girls." and gave them both a big hug.

After that we headed out to the grave site where they would burry her. It's a nice little place. Someone was probably saying something... but I wasn't really paying any attention. People came by and gave hugs and we talked. But then it started to rain and we headed back to the anex of the church for more food and fellowship. I spent some time talking with family. Mary stayed at Granny and Granddads to give me some time alone with my family.

When I got back I was a little aloof and ended up making Mary think I was ignoring her. I'm not really going to make any excuses. She ended up getting upset again and we had to go have another convorsation out on the front porch. But we settled it within a reasonable amount of time and maintained our perfect record.

After a while we went back to the house and again Mary and I shared a bed... but my fake bed was ready just in case anyone came over early in the morning... that way we wouldn't get caught. I'm a sly devil... I even set up the covers on the couch to make it look like I had just gotten out of them...that way I can make it look like I'm comming out of the bathroom or something. It's the perfect plan! *devilish grin*

519775  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-03-02
Written: (4996 days ago)

On wednsday morning... after barely any sleep... My aunt came by and picked my brother and I up from my grandparents house. We still hadn't the nerve to go back home... knowing full well that mom would not be there and that the accident had practically happened in our back yard. She took us to Levelland and dropped my brother off at school and immediately took me to the airport to pick up Mary... God I was glad to see her.

When we got back to my Grandparents I got to introduce her to most of the family... they all seemed to like her. Which really doesn't matter to me because my opinion of her is the only one that really counts.

Later that day we got to go see mom again... this time Mary was with me and kayci would be seeing her as well. Mary had never met mom... nor had they even talked. What Mary knew of mom she knew from the stories I tell of her. She would have liked Mary... and they would have especially connected on account of their both being short, LOL. I would allways tell Mary that she had no need to worry about our tall family... because mom was short she could just hang around her. In any case I took Mary in there... we where both crying by now. I introduced her to mom... "well mom, this is Mary. I know you wanted to meet her. I'm sorry that it had to be like this..." Basically I was saying this is the woman I love. And of course, Mary was falling appart... tears where freely rolling down my face.

Kayci did go in and see mom... she balled her eyes out. As did my cousin Lezli. I had to be there for the both of them and Mary stepped back for a while... I'm not quite sure what she was doing but she gave us some space. It was horrible seeing Kayci so torn up like that. The emotional states of friends and family where worse on me than the actual circomstances.

We went home and on the way we passed a white truck parked on the side of the road. It ended up being the truck driver... the guy who was driving the semi that hit mom. He was ordered by the police not to talk to us because we might sue. But we where really worried about him and my aunt Karry had allready talked to him about it. My father talked to him for a good long while and then my little brother and I talked to him. Mary wanted to go out with me but I told her that I had to do this alone... that I didn't want to confuse or put pressure on the guy. He was fine and he actually was a nice guy. We made our peace with him, made sure he knew that we didn't blame him, made sure he was ok. it helped us all out tremendously.

That night Mary was upset with me. She didn't understand why I wouldn't let her be with me. I tried to explain to her why I wanted to do that alone... and why I occasionally needed time alone or alone with family. She was really upsetting me. I told her how I felt. I had been thinking about her about as soon as I got back to Texas. All I wanted to do was hold her. I was afraid that if I could lose my mother to something so sudden that I could just as easily lose her (especially considering the little accident we had over the valintines day weekend). She felt as if I didn't really need her. I need her more than anything. By that time we where both crying. That's when we had our first real kiss. Everything was better by then. We have never really had an argument and we kept our perfect record.

That night I got to spend a night holding onto the person I had so wanted to since monday. Mary was there with me, in my arms and I knew that nothing was going to happen to her while I was there... while we where together. I slept rather uneasily though... I didn't want anyone comming over and seeing us sleeping together. We wouldn't be doing anything and still be fully clothed but the last thing I needed was for my grandparents to think that I was somehow being a sinner. I actually made a bed on the couch in the living room and as soon as I heard a noise (early that morning) I ran and jumped in that bed... however, it was just my little sis getting up and around and ready for the day. I think I still fell asleep there though... but not until after I had spent most of the night at mary's side.

518846  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-01
Written: (4997 days ago)

Again, I'm putting these where they go. The dates do not reflect the time I submitted them, but rather the dates they occured.

Tuesday was a blur. We didn't do very much. But we did get to go see mom at the funeral home. I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to take it... that I might pass out. But I knew that I would never forgive myself if I didn't see her.

She was beautiful. just like allways. But mom was a hard woman to make look otherwise. They would have had to try rather hard to atually make her look anything but beautiful. I was afraid that they would put too much makeup on her. Mom was naturally beautiful and I didn't want them covering all that up. But they did a great job. I went in with my little brother and my father. We where all sobbing like babies. and if we hadn't gone in together, we would not have been able to stand alone. We used the other two for support under the weight of the crushing grief. Dad acutally had to sit down for fear that he would fall over. We didn't say much, other than "she's beautiful" and "she looks like she's just sleeping". We where all hoping that she was just sleeping... and I could swear that I saw her eyes flicker and her chest move as if she where breathing. But she didn't wake up... and I touched her hand. It was ice cold... and then I knew that it was not a joke, that this was all real. Somehow I was trying to maintain the delusion that it was all ok, that it was a dream, or that it was some kind of sick joke. But no, it was as serious as... well... death. And I sobbed even heavier. I then knew that I had to be strong. Not for me. My family needed me to be strong for them. Dad needed to know that I was allright. Dad needed to know that I was there for him. Corbin needed to know that I was there for him. Kayci(my younger sister) wasn't there... she had decided against going. We all wished she had.

One of the most heartbreaking things of all was seeing my grandfather crying. He made sure to tell use that "real men do cry." while sobbing like a baby. But the most painful of all was watching him say repeatedly to mom "it's ok hun, you can wake up now. You've been asleep long enough." I had to leave the room, it was just too much for me to take. It's still painful, tears are welling up in my eyes as I type. Other than that tuesday was uneventful. Mary did call me back and inform me of when her flight was. We would be picking her up the next morning.

 The logged in version 

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