NASA PROCEDURES FOR VIKING ATTACKS:
Procedure to Follow in the Event That Building 245 is Attacked by Vikings
Since the decline of the Carolingian Empire in the 10th century,
Building 245 of the NASA Ames Research Center has been subject to
periodic raids by Viking marauders. These marauders generally attack in
search of gold, religious icons, and other forms of plunder. The NASA
Ames Barbarian Affairs Office has established the following procedures
for defense against Viking raids:
Defense Against Viking Raids
1.0 Complete a DARC-820AD - 'Identifying a Barbarian Attack' - to
determine if the visitors are Viking raiders.
1.1 Are the strangers wearing weapons, helmets, and armor?
1.2 Do the strangers lack trade goods or other evidence that they might
only be peaceful merchants?
1.3 Do the strangers have NASA Ames visitor ID badges?
1.31 If so, do these badges identify the visitors as Viking raiders?
2.0 Fill out Viking Raid Logbook in Division Office.
3.0 Complete an FF-1066AD - 'Report of Viking Raid'
3.1 Section I - Identity of the attackers
3.11 Nationality (if not Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, or Frisian check
3.12 Name of leader (include name of family and clan)
3.13 Under 'Religion' check either 'Pagan' or 'Converted'.
3.2 Section II - Program Office Review
3.21 Check 'Unclassified'
3.22 Originating NASA Organization (NASA Ames Research Center/SST).
3.23 Type in Division Chief.
3.24 Type in Mail Code under 'Office Code'.
3.25 Type in Mail Code under 'Program Office and Code'.
3.3 Write cover letter to NASA Headquarters.
4.0 Assemble the FF-1066AD package. Separate and assemble the FF-1066AD
with four (4) copies of cover letter as follows:
4.1 First Page (white) - attach cover letter to the back. On the side
4.2 Second Page (green) - attach cover letter to the back. On the side
4.3 Third Page (pink) - attach cover letter to the back. On the side
4.4 Fourth Page (yellow) - attach cover letter to the back. On the side
write: Branch Code and Mail Stop (SST/245-3).
5.0 Finish DARC-820AD - staple copies of letter to Headquarters (Step
3.3) to the back.
6.0 Forward DARC-820AD and FF-1066AD package to Division Office for
6.1 Division Chief will forward DARC-820AD and letters to secretary to
file in author's file.
6.2 Division Office will sign FF-1066AD, date all copies, and forward
them as follows:
6.21 Original: to Document Control Clerk.
6.21 Others: to Branch Office and Directorate Office.
7.0 Take refuge in the hills until the raiders are gone.