[Barock]'s diary

1071092  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-03-18
Written: (3191 days ago)

Blesh. It’s happened again, my life seems to spiral like this. Just when it’s new and interesting it twists and I’m back where I was this time last year. I think the problem is that I rarely change so much as a person, same old me dealing with the same old problems in the same old ways. But I really didn’t foresee this happening to me again. I don’t know what to do, he’s gone. Again -_-
I love him a great deal but I’m starting to resent him too, a lot. My flaws are many and I’ll never hide that, but I’ve never completely cut someone out of my life. Never-ever.
I don’t play games with people and I think that will always be my undoing, cos I never know if someone’s doing it to me and frankly, they always are :-( 

1065357  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-02-02
Written: (3235 days ago)

I met a guy today called Luke. I'll prolly never see him again, but he was amazing.
Not in the 'he was soooo dreamy' sense, but in the way he believed about what we was talking about to the extent that he seemed to be high on it. That's amazing, I've never even seen a religious person who was that happy, that righteous. But he was.

He was working for a charity to dow ith saving Grillas. Which is something i do support anyways, but still it was a joy to hear him talk, it really was. It's been a long which since someone's impressed me so much.

On a side note, he was also beautiful and smart :-P But there was an aura about him which left me more than attracted, in awe I think is a better description, in awe.

I'm sure that wasnt the idea of him talking to me, but *shrug* I've never really taken what I'm supposed to from things xD I mean, doing English for 5 years didn't increse my appreciation of great literature, but it DID give me the ability to articulate the hatred a tadd better. Swings and Round-a-bouts.

Gaah, I should have gone for a drink with him! Silly me, oh well, it's made me regain faith that there are people out there I find attractive and like as people that arn't limp wristed femm's... -_-

Yeah so that's it, my escapade in the snow! (it SNOWED :D)
Snowy City, Pretty Hippy :)

Stay Funky,
Matt!

1065116  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-01-31
Written: (3237 days ago)


Okayt his is a song I am obsessed with, the lyrics are amazing. It's called Cowboys and it's by counting crows and I reckon everyone should ahve a look :) Reminds me of me, which is scary and a bit sad.

Cowboys on the road tonight
Crying in their sleep
If I was a hungry man with a gun in my hand,
And some promises to keep,
Who wanted to change the world,
What's as easy as murder?
It's all headlights and vapour trails
And Circle K killers

And I know I could look at anyone but you now
I could fall under the eyes of anyone
But you now, now, now, now

So come on, come on, come on
Oh, come on through now
Come on, come on, come on
Oh, come on through now

This is a list of what I should have been
But I'm not
This is a list of the things that I should have seen
But I'm not seeing
The look in your eyes
As his fingertips slid down your neck
And made you shiver
I'm just turning away from where I should have been
Because I am not anything
Oh, anything, oh

The President's in bed tonight
But he can't get to sleep
'Cause all the cowboys on the radio are killers
And I believe she loves you
'Cause you never make her feel like anything
She said, "I wouldn't feel a thing,
But I can feel, I can feel..."

And I know I could look at anyone but you now
I could fall under the arms of anyone
But you now, now, now, now

So come on, come on, come on
Oh, come on through now
Come on, come on, come on
Oh, come on through now

This is a list of what I should have been
But I'm not
This is a list of the things that I should have seen
But I am not seeing
The look in your eyes
As his fingers are unzipping your dress
And it makes you shiver
I'm just turning away from what I shouldn't see
Because I am not anything
Oh, anything, no

Everyone's in bed tonight
But nobody can sleep
'Cause all the satellites are watching through our windows
She says she doesn't love me, like, like she's acting
But it's as if she isn't talking
'Cause Mr. Lincoln's head is bleeding
On the front row while she's speaking

I said, "come on all you cowboys,
All you blue-eyed baby boys,
Oh come on all you dashing gentlemen of summer,
I'll wait for you where Saturday's a memory,
And Sunday comes to gather me,
Into the arms of God who welcome me,
Because I believe, oh I believe..."

And I know I could look at anyone but you now
I could fall under the eyes of anyone
But you now, now, now, now

So come on, come on, come on
Oh, come on through now
Come on, come on, come on
Oh, come on through now

This is a list of what I should have been
But I'm not
This is a list of the things that I should have seen
But I'm not seeing you look at me
So please, won't you look at me?
'Cause I'm not seeing you look at me
Oh, oh, I, I will make you look at me
Or I am not anything
Oh, anything
No no no no
No no no no
No, no.

 The logged in version 

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