[Lestat de Lioncourt.]'s diary

1170096  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2016-10-21
Written: (697 days ago)

"Woe to you, oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath,
Because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast
For it is a human number,
Its number is Six hundred and sixty six."

I left alone, my mind was blank.
I needed time to think, to get the memories from my mind.

What did I see?
Can I believe that what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy.

Just what I saw in my old dreams
Were they reflections of my warped mind staring back at me?

'Cause in my dreams it's always there
The evil face that twists my mind and brings me to despair

The night was black, was no use holding back
'Cause I just had to see, was someone watching me
In the mist dark figures move and twist
Was all this for real, or just some kind of hell?

666 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released

Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry hands held to the sky
In the night the fires are burning bright
The ritual has begun, Satan's work is done

666 the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight

This can't go on I must inform the law
Can this still be real or just some crazy dream?
But I feel drawn towards the chanting hordes
They seem to mesmerise, can't avoid their eyes

666 the number of the beast
666 the one for you and me

I'm coming back
I will return
And I'll possess your body and I'll make you burn
I have the fire
I have the force
I have the power to make my evil take its course

1170063  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2016-10-02
Written: (716 days ago)

No cares for me
I'm happy as I can be
I learn to love and to live
Devil may care

No cares and woes
Whatever comes later goes
That's how I'll take and I'll give
Devil may care

When the day is through, I suffer no regrets
I know that he who frets, loses the night
For only a fool, thinks he can hold back the dawn
He was wise to never tries to revise what's past and gone

Live love today, love come tomorrow or May
Don't even stop for a sigh, it doesn't help if you cry
That's how I live and I'll die
Devil may care

1169881  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2016-05-19
Written: (852 days ago)
Next in thread: 1169882

Every day I come home covered in blood. I'm a mess.
Louis has taken to sleeping in Marius's room, though Marius assures me they're on opposite sides of the bed and do not share intimate moments.
I hate his distance.

I come home and spend a good two hours in the shower trying to get clean. Yes, two hours.
Every day. You can gather from that and the amount of hours I work that it leaves very little room for rest. I'm lucky to get two to three hours a night.
All of this I don't mind.

I can handle the blood, I can handle coming home to a silent house with no one awaiting my return, I can handle not getting a normal amount of rest.
These things are no issue for me, they're not.

The things I fight in the catacombs grow stronger, which I believe means I'm getting closer to the source.
Whatever it is, I have to destroy it and see an end to this.
But the closer I get, the more dangerous it becomes. Tunnels collapse around me almost constantly and since the catacombs are a maze... There's only so many ways out.
That worries me.

The constant darkness I am gets to me. It clouds my mind. The catacombs are pitch black. Fire doesn't last and flashlights... They're too bright. They've had me use these light sticks, those are better... But I'm reluctant to use them. I can see in the darkness and it aids me not to be too visible by carrying this bright yellow or orange light.
Utter, pitch black darkness.
Day after day, hour after hour.

It gets to me. It dulls my senses, or rather I should say it makes it harder to maintain my bright energy.
I doubt I have to tell you all that you do brighten me, all in your own ways, but I ask that you continue to do so.
I need it. Anything to brighten my soul, my day.

1169872  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2016-05-10
Written: (861 days ago)
Next in thread: 1169875

Iron fist, velvet glove,
I'm so bad, baby I don't care,
Black-hearted to the bone.

And when I walk the streets
Kings and Queens step aside
Everyone I meet
They all stay satisfied
I'm here to tell ya honey
That I'm bad to the bone

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Tell me, baby, what's my name
Tell me, sweetie, what's my name.

1169808  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2016-03-24
Written: (908 days ago)
Next in thread: 1169809

Louis, my beautiful dark-haired Louis.
The moment I laid eyes upon him I fell fatally in love with him.
His cynicism, his self-destructive nature… His dark hair, the rebelliousness and his grim intensity. He was all that I knew Nicki to be, and yet he was more.
There was something about Louis, even through his hate there was such amazing love. He seduced me with the way he depended on me, the way he needed me.
I’ve always loved the world of mortals, even when I no longer stood as such, but Louis, Louis loved mortals with an intense purity.
Louis was my conscience, and more than that he forced emotions on me of regret and guilt I felt I more than deserved – even though, of course, I always fought them.

He was pure, he was good, in our world of monsters he stood a gentleman, an angel. Compassionate and contemplative in ways most of our kind couldn’t imagine being, he was all that is good.
That eternally troubled expression in his eyes, how I love it.
Louis feels more intensely than any of us, and he has the amazing talent of completely destroying a person through words alone, playing upon guilt and insecurities as though he were a virtuoso strumming the keys of a piano.
I love this about him, as cold and cruel he may be in his words, as harsh, he’s right, most of the time.
He doesn’t shy away from telling the truth, even if that truth hurts.
Intense, but just.

Twice he’s tried to kill me, to punish me for my evil, for my selfishness. And yet he’s killed to protect me and see me alive, fighting off dangers I’d never want him to.
Deadly and delicate, that’s what he always seems to be. His victims have always loved him. And I have always loved him, no matter what happened.
In rare moments the strength of our love is clear. We have eternity to nourish it, but it took only moments more often than not to renew its momentum and give it new meaning.
He set me back upon the path of love, though I do not believe he fully realizes that. I am good, only because of him. He makes me want to be good.

My dark-haired beauty, my precious darling.
The voice of my conscience, of my suffering and guilt. His love can be lethal, harsh and destructive, and yet, it always brings me closer to him.
He doesn’t shy away from pointing out my flaws, or forcing me to correct them.
Still he clings to his independence, never truly and fully committing to me.
He needs me to be perfect for him, and I want to be that.
Every day I try and prove it to him, to show him. Perhaps one day I should be so lucky, but for now, I feel merely blessed to have his love at all, his devotion and his dedication to me.

1169537  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2015-08-14
Written: (1131 days ago)
Next in thread: 1169539


But you know you love me.


 The logged in version 

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