[†SYN†]'s diary

765129  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-03-18
Written: (4287 days ago)

Feel how the grass is breathing under my feet
See how the sky is changing shades for you and me
I can't wait to shake you out of your hypnotic dream
There is nothing but rage and greed
In the wind I hear you calling me out
I know you can overcome
Yes, your blood is red and still runs fast
But your love is locked in wounded hands

Why won't you spread the light in your room?
Why won't you lift your spirit?
It is up to you


I hunger for your deliverance
I hunger for you to be aware

Through ropes and wires I try to reach you there
In your trance, in your spotlight, under your mask
Before the chunk of garbage knocks your brain again
I want you to get off the wheel of indifference
Today is the day, the new season is coming
Are you ready for other possibilities?
Under the tree where you learned the old philosophy
Plant the angel seed, give tomorrow a chance

Why won't you give up your inhibitions?
Why won't you free yourself?
Go with the flow


I hunger for your deliverance
I hunger for you to be aware
I hunger for your deliverance
I hunger for you to stay awake

728907  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-01-08
Written: (4357 days ago)

Indentations
Current mood: pensive
Category: life
A song idea!

"indentations"       by [†SYN†]
I feel your arms around me
twenty-four seven
you leave indentations
indentations on my skin

you burn me with your hands
I feel your hands around me twenty-four seven
even when your sixty miles away
I hunger for your burning hands

Indentations!
I feel your arms around me
twenty-four seven
you leave indentations.
indentations on my skin
indentations!

I crave your hands around my waist
I need your lips to caress my neck
I'm never broken when i feel your indentations
even if i tried I wouldn't live without your..

Indentations!
I feel your arms around me
twenty-four seven
you leave indentations.
indentations on my skin
indentations!

I'm never broken
Indentations
I'm always falling
indentations
push me down

Hold me tight! so i can feel your....
Indentations

Indentations!
I feel your arms around me
twenty-four seven
you leave indentations.
indentations on my skin
indentations!

Why is your touch like poison
you leave me with indentations
I'm never broken
indentations
I'm always falling
Indentations
push me down

hold me tight!

because your indentations are the reason I'm not dead
because your arms are around me twenty-four seven

please let your indentations Protect me when I praise the darkness..
because I'm head over heals.
your touch is hypnotic
you're my poison
you're my escape

I never want to leave your indentations behind
I want you to know...


I feel your arms around me
twenty-four seven
you leave indentations.
indentations on my skin
sweet indentations!

Copyright 2006

728332  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-01-07
Written: (4358 days ago)

I'm in [...love....]


And I want you to know!


my heart has healed..
727801  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-01-06
Written: (4359 days ago)

My 'trueman' experiences (truely serindipidous)
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life

Okay I have no idea how the fallowing story/ event actually happend to me!


One year ago around fall, I was at South west plaza mall. I was with heather and brittany. We were in the food court just sitting down spinning our phones when out of the blue a extreamly handsome guy comes up to me and says "I like your hair" (at the time is was black with red roots). I didn't know exactly to say so I just stared at him for a bit then I finally said 'thank you'. he walked away and sat at a different table. Well heather and I were talking about him and we decided to go over and sit with him, well because he was all alone. So I get up and start to walk over to him. At this time i'm pondering what I'm going to say. so I get nervous spin around and start to walk back to our table when heather turns me back around toward him. I don't know why but I felt a tiny little tear in my eye, thats how nervous I was..
I sit down next to him and say "you look bored" so we start up a conversation. I can't remember everything we said but its something like this..


"you guys have the same phones except one is black"


This utterly handsome guy is named josh!

He is waiting for his friends to meet him there, they come up and we all start talking about weird words like 'spatula' and 'fork' 'macadamia'.

We all decide to go lay in woodleys furniture (we all meaning: Heather, brittany, Josh, dave, kyle, and me)
I already know I like josh and what not...

We go up to borders and josh just up and decides he wants to carry me, so he does.. after I say no about a million times.

They go out to go get some cigarettes and we wait for them at borders, the whole time I was tripping out and saying I loved josh...

I listen to hoobastank in borders while waiting for them..

(this is actually significant so HA ha)

They came back and we flirted a bit....

Heather, brittany, and I had to leave and go home.
Over the next weekend I kept thinking about josh, the mall rat. I decided I hated him, because he flirted too much..

The next weekend, we (meaing heather and I) see josh, kyle, and dave...
kyle says
"you don't remember my name" and I respond with
"yes I do, kyle" they are dumbfounded. HA HA! I have a good memory...
I give kyle a hug and ignore josh, well mainly because he was talking to someone. So me and heather hangout with kyle and dave for a bit, then we leave the mall..

I'm a bit mad yet I have a weird feeling in my stomach.. I came back for a quick visit to the mall to pick out my friend's dresses for homecoming (which I didn't go to because my date ditched me GRRRRR). I ran into josh and we sat and talked for a bit.. basically about my orange sunglasses that I was wearing on my head. I put them on my eyes and he said "thank you for showing me how you look with orange sunglasses." I finally meet my friends there and he ran off...
After that day I never saw him again.... I never said goodbye...


I wrote him a song.. which fallows:
"josh's song"
When he cut me in two
I never thought I'd bleed
I wish I could Fall
With out the briuses of love
He was my hero
he always cought me before I fell.
If he hears this,
I hope he understands
this is josh's song
when he cut me in two
I never thought I'd bleed
I loved him
until he cut me in two
and watched my blood fall to the floor
I wanted to stand by his side
I never want to hide
But after that day I never saw josh again
He left my heart torn in two
I never thought I'd bleed
I never said goodbye
I never told him how much I cried
If he hears this
I hope he understands
this is josh's song
when he cut me in two
I never thought i'd bleed
I wish I could see him one last time
I still fall when I think of his soft skin
He wont remember me
but hell if I forget josh's song!
I still fall so fats when I hear josh's song..
THIS IS JOSH'S SONG!

---------------------------------------------

okay on january first of two thousand six, I went to the mall with heather.

I saw an amazingly hot guy as I was waiting for heather on the escalator.

I thought nothing about it, but later I saw the same guy in the food court sitting alone... it took me about five to ten minutes to build up the courage to get up and talk to him... I did the same exact thing I did the first, I turned around and paused before I actually sat down.. lucky he didn't see me both times.. I'm such a damn fool!
So I sat down and said "you look bored" (does that sound farmilar?) we introduced ourselves. its turns out his name is josh, so I smile... and heather looks at me.. we talk about something random, probably about him being the best mall rat at southwest plaza.. so this sounds a bit farmilar to me..

out of the blue I ask... "do I know you" and heather asks "do you have a friend named dave, or kyle" he says


YES!


Its was him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We invite him back to my house, and heather leaves for a bit. he goes through my cd's and finds some bon jovi.. he starts laughing and said "I never meet someone who like bon jovi like me" so I'm laughing and smiling the whole time... I can't fucking help it!


Later that night he asks me out.. guess what I say!


YES!


we have now being going out for five days and I'm extreamly satisfied with him, he likes to take is slow, and for one.. He actually loves me!

we talk on the phone almost everyday (weird for me)... last night he said he has a reason to live.. ha so I automatically think of hoobastank's the reason.... Teehee

Heather and I go to the mall the next day and don't see josh there.. weird..

(okay this next part is going to get confusing with names just to warn you)
but I do see josh's friend named josh.. we have some fun with this huge group of people just lazing around the mall.. Heather likes josh (josh's friend) so me and heather spend the night with each other and I notice she is twitterpated.. I tell josh (my boyfriend) on the phone and I get beat up for it later.... but still it was so worth it... the next day heather, josh, josh and I all hangout so are all just lazing around and after about three hours of me and josh egging the other josh on, josh fianlly asks heather out..
HEATHER AND I ARE BOTH DATING JOSHES THAT ARE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!

everytime I think of him I feel so happy and I can't stop smiling!

god damnit!

I have never ever been so happy in my life!


I thought everyone should know!


<_X_3SYN

Currently listening:
The Reason
By Hoobastank
Release date: By 2003 

682069  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-10-15
Written: (4442 days ago)

He has came in my dreams
he has came in my mind
my spirit and my voice
is yours now.
I can feel you in my dreams
I can feel you in my mind
and my spirit and my voice
is yours
the voice that calls my name
and draws me in
those who have seen his face
draw back in fear
and my spirit and voice is yours

559515  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-23
Written: (4616 days ago)

"no one" By [†SYN†]
no one cares
no one cries
no one dares
no one dies

only in death there can be life
how can that be with all this strife
flying demons
across the wrist
full possession of my dreams.
dreaming
screaming
and i'm lost with in
how can i escape this sin?

no one cares
no one cries
no one dares
no one dies

i choose to walk the sacred path
full with the devils wrath
charged with hate
through hell's gate.

dreaming
screaming
and I'm lost with in
how can i escape this sin?


no one cares
no one cries
no one dares
no one dies

dreaming
screaming


no one cares
no one cries
no one dares
no one dies


copyright 2004

559513  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-23
Written: (4616 days ago)

"Torn in two" By [†SYN†]
wish I saved all those tears
you made me cry
so I could fucking DROWN U IN THEM!!
I was blinded from my path, and now i'm lost
how much pain does your love cost?
I'm torn in two
all for you!
I catch my tears
then I drown in my fears
you drown me in your lies
your the reason why my soul dies
you chose your path,
to cut my heart in two
I was blinded from my path, and now i'm lost
how much pain does your love cost?
I'm torn in two
all for you!
I wish I saved all those tears
you made me cry
so I could fucking DROWN U IN THEM!!
your lies
your love
leaves scars on my wrist
I was blinded from my path, and now i'm lost
how mush pain does your love cost?
I'm torn in two
all for you!
I wish i saved all those tears
you made me cry
so i could hide, with out FEAR!!
you cut my heart in two


yet another song I wrote
copyright 2005

559512  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-23
Written: (4616 days ago)

"Reflection" by [†SYN†]

she looks in the mirror
can anyone hear her?
can anyone see her reflection?
she looks deep with inside her self, like an infection.
she has been looking in the mirror for so long she has come to belive her soul is on the other side
who is she?
can anyone see her reflection?
her reflection is gone
where has she gone?
can anyone see her reflection?
is her soul lost?
where is her reflection?
where is she hiding?
I have been looking in the mirror for so long, i have come to belive my soul is on the other side
can anyone see my reflection?
I look deep inside, like an infection
I look in the mirror
to see her
why is she hiding?
I know you see me
I know you see my reflection
can anyone see her reflection?
her reflection is gone
where has she gone?
can anyone see my reflection?
I look in the mirror
can anyone hear me?
can anyone see my reflection?
my soul is lost
can you see my reflection?

another song i wrote
copyright 2005

559511  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-23
Written: (4616 days ago)

"Innocence" by [†SYN†]

[A song I wrote for my friend a while ago]

as the people pass me by
all I see are the blurs of color
although I may look fine
On the inside I am dying
I crawl in the tunnels that shade my innocence
some how my thoughts
are rendered useless

.:chours:.
I'm waiting for her
you said we would walk
together into the shadows
but where are you?

I miss our talks about how we
we where going, together.
we would have walked in the shadows together!
But you left me alone.
where are you?
Are you crawling in the tunnels that shade
your innnocence?

.:chours:.
I'm waiting for her
you said we would walk
together into the shadows
but where are you?

I'm burried too far down to feel
the warmth of your innocence.
where are you?
you promised me that I would go with you
what happened
your connected to my heart
now I pray that you are okay
where are you?
what happened?
where is she?
is she crawling in her Innocence?

copyright 2005

547777  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-04-11
Written: (4629 days ago)

In The Rain - [†SYN†]

The rain comes
Nothing can surprise us
As the rain in our hearts
See clouds crying
We wake up to another day
Slowly the day’s getting bluer
See the Love
We’re hanging on
Waiting for the sun to rise
We know it comes to us

chorus:
Love
Love is red as a burning sun
Love sometimes is blue as a rainy sky
Love
Love - simple feeling as a word
We can learn to survive dancing in the rain

Empty sky - silence
There is a quiet storm
In our hearts
We won’t cry ‘cause of the blues
The rain’s singing just for us
Against the emptiness
We come closer
Nothing can pull us apart
Let’s enjoy the rain
It's time to dance

chorus:
Love
Love is red as a burning sun
Love sometimes is blue as a rainy sky
Love
Love - simple feeling as a word
Love can let us survive dancing in the rain

 The logged in version 

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