2006-04-19 [dmeredith]: I guess I should first ask what sort of feedback you want; content or grammar? Especially for a second language effort (and I am assuming that is what this is from your profile) it's really good. There are some symantic, tense, and word choice issues, but I wish my EFL students were half of half of half as good with English as you. In terms of content, what you've written borders on poetic and is poignant and evocative in terms of stark imagery and conjuring your vision expressively for the reader. There are small errors and unnatural expressions, but overall it is a fairly easy read and again, a very very respectable second language effort.
2006-04-26 [Chrysilla]: thank you sweetheart, please let me know every error I made so that I won`t repeat it again