|Name||Importance||Dies||Role, literal||Role, abstract|
|Krezagon||+++++||soldier, leader, skilled||protagonist, solver, experienced|
|Availon||+++++||far-walker, main||protagonist's counterpart|
|Gawehel||+++||soldier, specialised||damsel in distress|
|Tarkavinel||+++||soldier, stealthy||unemotional and invisible salt statue|
|Keroku||++||4||soldier, fighter||wise and courageous|
|jinhaliare traitor?||++||information source|
|Main character||Krezagon Korielter|
|A one-sentence summary of the character's storyline||A femehan ankod sergeant needs to manage eir squad and come up with a way to assassinate jinhaliare leaders.|
|The character's motivation (what does ey want abstractly?)||Krezagon wants to be accepted and praised in eir own society. Doing this amazing feat is surely the way to do it.|
|The character's goal (what does ey want concretely?)||Ey wants to keep eir homeland safe and survive.|
|The character's conflict (what prevents em from reaching this goal?)||Eir squad isn't perfect and they have very little information about jinhaliares.|
|The character's epiphany (what will ey learn, how will ey change?)||Krezagon will learn that even though ey is an extremely capable person, even ey can and will be broken (rather literally) and will screw up the best plan.|
|A one-paragraph summary of the character's storyline||Krezagon leads eir squad into jinhaliare areas and Juon dies in a battle they eventually win. Ey leads the soldiers on an indirect route while they argue how they should go about killing the jinhaliare leaders. Ey comes to the rescue of the remnants of femehan and homehan villages and meets a god-caller. Sarilou dies because of a liver wound later. Ey comes up with a plan, but they are caught and Soripel dies (which they also planned for just in case). After having been caught, Krezagon is tortured and explains the back-up plan as well. Ey is mutilated but gets over it with help and then helps the others to flee.|
|Main character||Availon Gandeheilei|
|A one-sentence summary of the character's storyline||A war-obsessed falangezka helps the femehans to stop a war.|
|The character's motivation (what does ey want abstractly?)||Ey wants all wars to end and that the jinhaliares stop being a threat to falangezkas and others.|
|The character's goal (what does ey want concretely?)||Ey wants to end this war and go home for good.|
|The character's conflict (what prevents em from reaching this goal?)||Ey has tried for years and has not succeeded, but now eir goal is near and ey needs some help.|
|The character's epiphany (what will ey learn, how will ey change?)||During the journey home, Availon realizes how much ey should stay away from wars and that it is futile to try to stop all wars.|
|A one-paragraph summary of the character's storyline||Availon follows the femehans and when they are almost revealed by the large army, ey subdues a jinhaliare far-walker and acquires information. Ey argues with Krezagon about using god-callers and is devastated when they run across one. Availon does not go with the femehans to the jinhaliare leaders. When they flee and Taikehel is killed, Availon is shocked because it could have just as well been em.|
|Main character||Krezagon is a fairly "complete" character and doesn't evolve much except maybe slightly in skill to talking to other people. Should ey have more development? Where and how?|
|Main character||Tegafel is a very young character in the beginning and part 1 is basically eir "Coming of age" story. Ey matures some more in part 2 as ey learns to take care of emself and finds something ey really enjoys (sailing).|
|Main character||Availon needs to realize that ey can't make warring disappear. Through incredible personal inconvenience and toiling ey can maybe prevent one war or make it worse. (?)|
|Important side character||Taikehel is a far-walker who's had it relatively comfortably and is essentially a hedonist. Ey only wants to travel with Krezagon because they're both ankods.|
|Important side character||Riyhneon starts out as a little cowardly and unsure gewakod. Krezagon teaches em to cope with things, since Riyhneon is very capable and has mostly been just demoralized for one reason or another. Do we need to know the reason?|
|Important side character||Tarkavinel is quite reality-detach|
|Side character||Arike is a young karangal who learns that ey is right about emself.|
|Side character||Leitsel is a somewhat typical nigekod who pretends to have an interesting personality. Ey has common sense and a quick wit but is rather set in eir ways.|
|Side character||Soripel is a fairly young typical soldier. Ey has some repressed favourable opinions about ankods since ey had a little ankoddin who was sold into slavery. Ey is really from WeÞina and lied about eir homeland because Kervanelans don't like WeÞinans and because ey's ashamed that slavery is so well-institute|
|Side character||Poutnel is an old lech and dumb as a doornail. Ey doesn't really have a mind of eir own, and while ey doesn't really appreciate Krezagon, ey acknowledges eir authority and doesn't undermine it and later pretty much supports it. Ey dies at the beginning of part 3.|
|Side character||Freppet is an optimistic and very young nikod, who tries hard to get Riyhneon to like em more, but Riyhneon doesn't really want to be with em beyond a little messing around. Ey dies at the beginning of part 3.|
|Side character||Juon is a small, stubborn and somewhat slow angry nikod who joins Krezagon's squad in Korrankola just because ey thinks Krezagon (and Riyhneon) could teach em how to fight.|
|Side character||Sarilou is an enthusiastic geniwakod with big breasts.|
|Side character||Gawehel is an ex-gladiator searching for emself. Ey is an expert farmer.|
|Side character||Anton is a gekod. (Anton hoitaa.)|
|Side character||homehan needs a name.|
2011-06-11 [pegasus1000]: Questions:
What is the war about? How long has it been going on? Why would people want to join the army to help with the war cause?
-You are trying to decide on keeping some explicit scenes in your story and this is what my opinion is:
I'm not sure if you will want to have your characters abused so much. I know it is part of war, but it damages a persons thoughts and unless you know the pathology of that trauma it may seem forced or unrealistic.
If you decide to keep it in you can always leave the details implied. The characters will not want to remember the events in detail so why write them out if they are trying to forget that it even happened. You can even do snap shots in nightmares.
2011-06-11 [Veltzeh]: Ah, the war isn't actually going on yet. Seems I forgot to write that anywhere here... I'll add it.
That said, I don't understand why anyone would ever have any armies. I think the best explanation for having an army and having volunteers joining it is that they've been either invaded by an army before or been tried to invade but succeeded to fend the invaders off, and they noticed that having their own army in their nation helps keep out other armies. And people join because of tradition and patriotism, I guess.
I can weasel out of portraying very realistic trauma by saying that the telepaths fix stuff like that, but that's probably a bad excuse. Either way, I think I'll thin out the abuse scenes.
Hmm, the nightmare thing might work better. I actually did that in one part of the story even if it wasn't a dream of a previous trauma.
2014-09-28 [Eyden13]: Hey I'd love to still write an workshop on this if you are still willing. Do you have an update/ written version or do you still want to you this?
2014-10-05 [Veltzeh]: Sure! What do you mean by update or written version exactly?
2014-10-06 [Eyden13]: Just if you had change anything since you first put it up to be worked shopped.
2014-10-07 [Veltzeh]: If I understood correctly: This plotline and the problems within it are still up to date. If I've made changes, they're either pretty small or then I just don't remember them. X)
2014-10-12 [Eyden13]: kk