As every good doctor will tell you "If you don't know what it is, don't shove it up your nose." Knowing this we have made this a place where customers can send in their thoughts, opinions, and overall satisfaction rating with their [Chimes] unit.
Future generations will thank us for this.1
Feel free to add your own reviews but we must ask that you have interacted with your [Chimes], otherwise it wouldn't be a very good review would it? If the thought of posting your review yourself is positively daunting you may send it to either [Tyr and Zao Hawk] or the [Chimes] in question.
We hope you enjoy the product and look forward to hearing your feedback.
A Letter from General McTyrthur...
I am greatly and deeply satisfied with my [Chimes] Unit. Despite the recent war (I believe it was World War 2) I was able to live comfortably and have peace of mind knowing that my [Chimes] was there for me. I cannot even begin to fathom where I would be withouy my [Chimes].
Allow me to recount this tale of the old days... Back when [Chimes] was still relatively new on the market, I purchased one out of sheer interest. Sure, I could've spent my money on a fancy new television where the images actually had color and sound and whatnot, but I figured that color was just a fad that would fade over time. (I still do. This 'colorful' world will all pass, and we'll all be black and white again one day. Just you wait.) At any rate, I brought the [Chimes] home with me to show to the wife and kids.
Of course, that was a mistake (For all you youngins out there, never show you wife the girl you bought at a street vendor. They always take it the wrong way).
I was now divorced, homeless, and had to make child payments. I got to keep the car and the [Chimes] though, so it wasn't too bad. For the next few years, [Chimes] was the only thing that kept me going (well, her and the burgerbeasts I hunted down with my bare hands... and $0.36).
Eventually, a man saw me and my [Chimes] unit and offered me quite a sum of money for her, because, the gentleman said with a distinct air of poshness in his voice "Thatun thar is a rar un. Thaat it is."
I knew right then and there I had to make a choice. Either accept color television as the future and give up my precious [Chimes] V 1.364, or keep the [Chimes] and kill the man for his money. Today, I'm rich, and still have my old black and whitie.
Thank ye, oh makers of [Chimes], ye've changed my life for the better with your amazing product.
-General Mih Naymis McTyrthur.
1At least, if they don't want global warming they will... Back to the 'Chimes - A How To.' Index?
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