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|Town Drunk||Interpreter||Street child|
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the master and the pet
~i am a very solitude type of person but love to be with the ones that i love. i have dark thoughts that lead me to an empty road where in lies my mind. the void that i reside in is my sanctuary from all others in this life.
~ on the verge of falling into this pit of eternal appression. i pray she walks into my dreams and retrieves my soul from the grasp of lonliness. my heart is tired of being torn between reality and this now new reality. a tear falls for the life i know i am to lead in the service of you. save me from your torturous night mares that overwhelms my every thought. let me be i plee before you.
~A day, today, was filled with much joy, for today i had a chance once more to be in the presence of such a marvelous thing; You. Never in my insognificant life have i had a day that filled my mind with such extravagant excitement and a rapid beating of the heart.
~When we galnced at one another, locking our eyes in a perplexual stare that had no meaning of time, just existance, i saw everything in my life that i hold dear to me flash away to nothingness compared to you. The chill of fright caught me in that mear second filling me with dread that i now know i have longed for my entire life.
~Beauty can not be captured or contained, it may not be made or sculptured, beauty is born, some may say that that is a miracle, for that it is. You are beautiful, nothing less than a miracle.
~GIVING IN UNWILLINGLY~
In a time when darkness fell over my every thought, when i thought i had lost my mind completely, you showed me with your brilliance that i had a long walk still to go. With you holding tight the reins to my sanity, driving me to a frenzy of lost faith. My mind torn in half and my heart shreaded, here you come again, lifting my hopes and spirits just to crush my every breath again. Suckling at my nerves as a vampire might feed upon a willing host.
With every heart beat, feeling the life drain from my body, you step ever closer, filling the gap between paces, ever so slow paces, with lacinations that swell as my pride deminishes. My heart beat, faint, seaming to grow weaker still. Then you rejouvinate me back to life on your whim. At times I hunger to rest eternaly, but as you wish I can not let go, for it is not my choice no longer. After you revive me I can remember again what it feels like to stand as first witness to your famed beatings. How I miss the feel of pain when I am on the brink of death, I welcome the feeling so as i can realize that i am still here, within your grasp.
The shine off your boots strikes me as well as the fringe from your whip. As I look upward from the ground i kneel on, I feel the love I once held for you. But in your latex uniform I know that you still have humane desires, I can only hope once again that you will give in before I do.
~A prayer, my prayer for the last few yaers, it has gone unnoticed at best and at times I can feel backs being turned toward me. I have prayed for a rest, a break in this torture that has become my life. But now I pray that it stays this way, it can not go back. I can not go back. I am no longer that person I have prayed to go back to. Now my mistress, I pray to be yours from this day forth and never ending.
~somewhere there is someone who loves me. wether it be me or the perception of me that they love, i long to find this so called love. i am so verylonely in my own mind.
~this sunrise i am looking at brings me back to a time long ago. when i was free of the bonds now holding me back, hindering my flight that i know would soar high, higher than any bird flies in the sky. i know i could, but if i could fly away, where then would i go? would it not be the same as it is here? i guess that i should not wish for it may come true.
~I have fallen. now i kneel on one knee. i am here before you asking your forgiveness, wondering how i can come in your good graces once more. you say that you hold dear the leash that binds meto you, but you show me no mercy. please i beg my mistress, let me kiss your boots to show my loyalty. i fear that even that act i can not do properly.
I have fallen again. now i lay spralled out upon the stone ground before you. the searing pain brilliant across my back and now i have realized my futile err. I have not fallen either time so now what do you desire of me my lady?
how do i speak aloud? my mouth is gagged, and now my hands are being bound behind my back. do you wish me not to beg this day. is it going to go on untill you tire my queen, my master.
weary, everything has gone blurry to my eyes. Yes, i can feel it. the empty void for which I have welcomed for many days now. has it been many days or one long dream? whichever it is, please let death find my lost soul traveling this lonely plane.
~My heart weeps and my mind longs just to hear your lovely voice. that music that my soul dances to. To hear your voice would make my whole being sing out in joy. my ears await that moment so badly that they burn with desire. fate has landed me here upon you, take me into your arms and caress me. tell me that everything will be fine.
Oh how i wish upon a wish that you would at least look to my eyes. i miss your hand, tenderly lying in mine, how your hair cascades over your shoulders brushing my face while we were in a blissfull kiss.
It is as if you are a ghost and i walk around here day after day unnoticed. i have missed you all of my life and still you are only a dream.
~through this life i shall walk alone. find those that mean everything to me and have them torn away by my own demons. why must this life i lead be so tarnished with the thoughts of neverending sarrowness from the depths of decieptful people. everything in my life begins and ends with why. so why then do i always ask why when the answer will always remain why.
|Age: 41||Year of birth: 1978||Month of birth: 6||Day of birth: 4|
Fantasy race personality: Elf
Place of living: USA-California
Elftown crew wannabe: Yes
Favorite drawing objects
|books||cats||chasing the preferred sex|
Civil status: involved
Sexual preference: opposite sex
Body shape: fit
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