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DrakeRivenworth (It goes from 'pimp' to 'dear god! Is it legal!?)

Member #19092 created: 2003-08-28 13:50:55Simple URL:   

Name: John Yoakum


Me in my bunker gear!


Just me, playin' pool after a fire dept. meeting.

Elftown work

Elftown titles and orders
AdventurerTravelling bard

Instead of having to answer questions, how about asking some! This means you can ask me four (4) questions. Any questions you want, and I have to answer them truthfully, anything!

ATTENTION! Winter-een-mas is now an "OFFICIAL" holiday!(Its January 25th through 31st, yes thats right, a whole week!) Celebrated by gamers and wanna-be gamers alike! The "traditions" of winter-een-mas will be to play lots of games, dress and act like video game characters, and get in some quality game playing time. The one thing we ask is to use it as a greeting, such as "Happy Winter-een-mas!" Host LAN parties! Oh yeah, when you ownz n00bs, at least say "Good game" or "nice playing with you" before you 0wnz them again with a l33t headshot! Muhaha!


AIM: SparksFireburner
Yahoo: sparksfireburner

I can't think of anything clever to put here, and for a writer...that sucks! So perhaps, I'll start putting stupid qoutes and stuff of me and my friends or from other people.
"Hit the big monkey!"
"I have no pants...NO PANTS!!"
"She only eats the boot-leg chicken nuggets! Argh!!"
"Killing the village idiot dosn't mean you win!"
"Hideki is a pervert!  No I'm not!! Stop saying that!!"
"Trapped in time, surrounded by evil, low on gas!"
"Stabbity Death!"
"Thief's knife is in Fighter's back because he wants money, Red Mage's knife is in there because Fighter insulted his stats. If you have to ask why Black Mage's knife is in there, you obviously havn't been paying attention!"
"Binga Zinga!"
"The Life of a Hitman - Death by appointment."
"I would like a Shirley Temple.
Have a Madonna!
Whats a 'Madonna'?
Its a Shirley Temple without the cherry! Haha"~oh my, thats so wrong...
"Can we play a racing game that DOES NOT involve throwing koopa shells?!~ The Amazing Brando!
"Your taking the candy away from me and then offer the big one!!! (huge sweettart)~ Me and TJ.
"My monkeys have a base!" ~Me playing Original War and my monkeys were in a base was funny.
"Yeah I had sex high school...but I was the Janitor at the time..."
"Will suck at Tekken for Fallout.." ~This is true...
"Tell me about your mother..." ~ Sigmund Freud (Siggy)
"Nothin' a critical hit to the eyes won't cure." ~ Cassidy, Fallout 2
"Now offering dating advice! Warning: Your results may vary, some assembly required, not sold in stores, batteries not included, not for children under the age of 3 months." ~BrandoHammer
"Oh great, now I look like a SMART rapist!" ~The lovable, huggable Brando!
"Oh my god, I'm so horny!! ...wait, maybe I just have to pee." ~ a girl
Boy: I'm bored, entertain me.
Girl: *Dances*
Boy: Woo! *Gives her a dollar*
Girl: Not that kind of dance! >_<'
Reason 90% of guys are not christians: Chasity
Reason most priests rape little boys: Chasity.
Reason lots of girls are christians: Chasity
Reason goths in general are not christian and hate them: Chasity.

I must say this now...I dislike the hippies. The hippies anger me. I'm not a violent man...well, yes I am. Anyhoo, I hate the hippies. HIPPIES SUCK AND MUST DIE! DIE HIPPIES DIEEEE!!! *broods* Damn dirty hippies... Have you seen their feet?! Its almost black with dirt and they grow weed between their toes, I've seen it! Hippies come in all shapes and sizes... IF you are a hippie, then steer clear of me. I dislike the hippies and I'm prone to violence against the stoopid peoples (not stoopid head, but mainly ignorant people) and the tree-hugging, dirty foot, smelly, pot-smoking, bong-blowin', flower-picken, war-whining, panzy hippies!!! ARGH!!!

Video Games

Ok, another thing people don't know about me. I am a MAJOR GAMER! I love playing video games, it fills that pathetic void in my life. I mostly play First Person shooters (FPS) and Third Person Shooters (TPS). I also like strategy and actions games. I do like to play some mind games too. But mostly I play shooters.

Some of my favorite titles...

Xbox: Halo, Halo 2, XIII, Freedom Fighters, DOA Xtreme volleyball, Unreal Tournament 2002, and the GTA3/GTA Vice City double pack!
Gamecube: Zelda: Windwaker, Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Zelda: Majora's Mask, Phantasy Star Online, Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Zero.
Playstation 2: Grand Theft Auto: 3, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, GTA: San Adreas, Activition Classics, Run Like Hell, Half-Life, Manhunt, Hack.//Infection, Time Crisis 2, Time Crisis 3, Ninja Assult, Evil Dead: Fist full of Boomstick.

Trust me, there are many more for many more systems. Like NES, SNES, Genesis, Atari, Intellivision, and PC!

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

49.30966% - Super Geek

"Hardware Store"
Weird Al

Would you look at all that stuff ...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

"Pirate Song"
Ray Stevens

'Oist the jolly roger! 'Eel over to yonder Spanish gallion, cut'em to ribbons, and split the booty! What say ye to that me blood thirsty buck-o's?! Haha!

I don't like it...

You don't like it?! Well then...what DO you like?

I love to sching and dance. I love to sching and dance! I wanna be a pirate and that pirates often sching and dance. I wanna wear me silver buckles and mah tight shiny pants... I want to sching and daaance!

These are different types of Sterotypical girls, so don't think everyone fits in a catagory.


Christian: Usually nice body and awesome outfits, but the whole "god is first and giving head isn't in the bible" routine really sucks (Actually, no sucking at all -.-)
Wiccians: God damn these girls are hot and know it, plus the things they do...*whistles*
Gamers: May not be the hottest, but damn they sure make up for it with an awesome round of Halo.
Sporty: Yeah, if you like solid breasts and legs that can squeeze you, not only that but alot of arm wrestling contests? Not for me.
Skanks: Don't know where they been, don't know and don't care.
Preppy: Blondes need apply, plus any other hair style. But, leave the attitude at home. Your not better, your prolly not even adverage, your clothes do not make up for being a Zero in life.
Goth: These girls are hot like wiccians and got the skills of skanks without the VD's. Only problem is, they sometimes have...odd fantasies.

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E,F,G H & J are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for...It is about time you became informed!
{A} - Almost Boobs...
{B} - Barely there.
{C} - Can't Complain!
{D} - Damn!
{DD} - Double damn
{E} - Enormous!
{F} - Fake!
{G}- Get a Reduction!
{H}- Help me I've fallen and I and can't get up!
{J} - Jesus! Breasts may be used for floatation device!



1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after you rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway
31. And last but not least: If your fighting a guy and your winning no matter how much you say it HE is still letting you win!

Oh my god! Go here! This site is so hilarious!
Missing: </center>

Age: 25Year of birth: 1986Month of birth: 1Day of birth: 22

Gender: male

Fantasy race personality: Elf
Elftownworldmap 30°39.996'N 96°33.000'W

Place of living: USA-Texas

Town: Milano/ Brenham

Known languages

Elfwood artist: No

Elfwood writer: Yes

Favorite URL:

ICQ number: 246649669

Elftown crew wannabe: Yes

Favorite drawing objects

Computer interests
action gameschatemail
information seekingmusicpr0n
strategy gamessystem administrationvideo

adult popalternativeblues
classicalgothheavy metal
hip hophousejazz
new agepopprogressive metal

Other interests
animebookscard games
chasing the preferred sexdancingdrinks
pornrole playingsinging

Civil status: single

Sexual preference: opposite sex

Body shape: fit

Height: 180

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