Elftown – the social site made for fans of scifi and fantasy
Register a user on Elftown
This be me. I was pissed the day it was took.
Elftown titles and orders
HOW A 7 YEAR OLD EXPLAINS SEX!!!
Little johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about making out from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother,who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to little johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains tonight and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis" and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while then he turned off most the lights...then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured sis might be getting sick because here face started looking funny!... He must have thought so to because he put his hand in her blouse to feel her heart just the way the doctor did. Except hes not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick to, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. his other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down to the end of the couch. This is when her fever started. I knew it was a fever because sis told him she felt really hott...finally I found out what was making them so sick a big eel had gotten into his pants somehow...it jumped out of his pants and just stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it she got really scared her eyes got big and her mouth fell open, she started calling out to god and stuff like that...she said it was the biggest one shes ever seen. I should tell her about the ones at the lake down by our house. Anyway sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it while he got a muzzel out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it...and he helped by laying on top of the eel...the eel put up a hell of a fight...sis started groaning and squealing and almost upset the couch...I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it in beteween them...after a while they both quit moving and let out a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up and sure enough they killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle but they went back to courting anyways. He started hugging her and kissing her again. But by golly the eel wasnt dead!!!...It jumped straight up and started fighting again...I guess eels are like cats they have nine lives or something. This time sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead because I saw sis's boyfriend peel the skin off and flush it down the toilet.
[92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your ass off.
i have reddish brown hair and green eyes
i love to party!!!!!!!!!!!
ask me any thing you want to and i will answer honestly:)
If you REALLY LIKE SOMEONE right now AND MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head then re-post this within 1 mintute and whoever you are missing will surprise you.....
methods of Love....
*kiss on the ear--------------------"i'm horny"
*kiss on the cheek-----------------"we're friends"
*kiss on the hand------------------"i adore you"
*kiss on the neck-------------------"we belong together"
*kiss on the shoulder--------------"i want you"
*kiss on the lips---------------------"i love you" or "i want you"
*holding hands-----------------------"we can learn to love each other"
*a wink---------------------------------"Let's get it on"
*slap on the butt---------------------"thats mine"
*playing with the ear----------------"i can't live without you"
*holding on tight---------------------"don't let go"
*looking into each other's eyes---"let's get romantic"
*playing with hair on head---------------"tell me you love me"
*arms around the waist -----------"i love you too much to let go"
*laughing while kissing-----------"i am completley comfortable w/you
Peace,pot,tequila shot,jesus loves you stoned or not. Sex drugz rock^N^roll, speed,weed, birth control. Life's a bitch then u die,fuck the world,let's get high. We are stoners,we have class,mess with us & we'll kick ur ass. So to all you preps who think your cool, go to hell cuz stoners rule!!!!!!
when i die, have no pitty
just bury me in stoner city
a joint upin my hand
so i can smoke my way to promise land
"WEED IS A PLANT IT GROWS IN THE GROUND
IF GOD DIDNT LIKE IT IT WOULDNT BE AROUND
SO ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS THAT NEVER GOT HIGH
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE IT A TRY!
FUCK THIS WORLD
LETS ALL GET HIGH
LIFE IS LIKE A DICK
WHEN IT GETS HARD-FUCK IT
thanks for always being there for me i dont know what i would have done without you we need to have more parties where we get drunk and stoned off our asses again
her usermane is [stoner_420_weed] if you want to talk to her
some of my other friends are
[German Foot Soldier]
[? crazy child ?]
[savage and beast]
Give me your number?]
Have sex with me?]
Let me kiss you?]
Watch a movie with me?]
Let me take you out to dinner?]
Drive me somewhere/anywhere?]
Take a shower with me? ]
Be my bf/gf? ]
Have a fling with me?]
Buy me a drink if i didnt have money?]
Take me home for the night? ]
Would you let me sleep in your bed?]
Sing car kareoke w/ me? ]
Re-post this for me to answer your questions?]
Do you like my style? ]
Do you think im funny?]
Do you care about me? ]
Would you dance with me?]
Would you sing happy birthday to me?]
Who r u??
R we friends??
When and how did we meet??
Do u have a crush on me??
Would u kiss me??
Give me a nickname and explain y u picked it
Describe me in 1 word
what was ur first impression of me??
Do u still think that way about me now??
What reminds u of me??
If u could give me anything what would it be??
How well do u think u no me??
Whens the last time u saw me??
Ever wanted 2 tell me sumthing u couldn't??
R u gonna put this on ur house and see what i say about u??
would u date me
wht is ur fav color
wht is ur fav thing to do
would u kiss me
if there was one thing ud change about urself wat would it be
wat sports are u in too
wht do u hate most
wat sort of music u like
would u do long distance
$2,639,190.00 is how much i am worth on humanforsale
*******i copied this from *hazel*eyes* she is one of the most awesomest people you will ever meet so if you dont like her you can suck it!!!!!!!!!************
Stereotypes are stupid!!!! Everyone has been called one of these stereotypes and has called someone one of them so remeber it hurt when you were called one and it hurt them when you called them one so remember how it feels!!!!
I'm white, so I must not be able to say, nigga, spic, beaner, wetback,
but I am called cracker or redneck.
I'm skinny, so I must be bulemic/anorexic.
I'm emo, so I must cut my wrists.
I'm black, so I must be on welfare.
I'm Hispanic, so I must be dirty.
I'm Asian, so I must love math.
I'm Jewish, so I must be greedy.
I'm gay, so I must have AIDS.
I'm a lesbian, so I must live in San Francisco.
I'm Arab, so I must be a terrorist.
I'm a single mom, so I must be a slut.
I'm old, so I probably cant drive.
I'm overweight, so I most likely have a problem with self control.
I'm religious, so I must shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm republican, so I must not care about poor people.
I'm democrat, so I must not believe in being responsible.
I'm from the south, so I must be white trash.
I take anti-deppressants, so I must be crazy
I'm a man, so I only want to get into your pants.
I'm a woman, so I must think irrationally.
I'm Irish, so I must have a bad drinking problem.
I'm Indian, so I must own a 7-11
I'm Native American, so I must dance around a fire screaming like a savage, or be apart of a gaming casino.
I dont live with my child, so I must be a dead beat dad.
I'm athletic, so I must be stupid.
I'm a prep, so I must eat and breathe Abercrombie and Fitch.
I'm a teenager, so I must drink and do drugs
I'm a cheerleader, so I must be a whore.
I get good grades, so I must be a loser
I'm a punk, so I must do drugs.
I'm young, so I must be naive.
I'm rich, so I must be a snob, conceided.
I wear black, so I must be gothic.
I'm Mexican, so I must mow yards
I'm Asian, so I must be Chinese
I'm black so i must like fried chicken and cornbread
I'm black so i must know how to rap, and be a gangster,
I'm blonde so I must be a slut
*math is like sex
u add the bed
subtract the clothes
divide the legs
and hope u dont multiply!!!
ѕєχ ιѕ єνιℓ
ѕєχ ιѕ α gαмє
1иιтє σf ραѕѕισи
9мσитнѕ σf ραιи
тнє вαву'ѕ α вαѕтαя∂
тнє fαятнєяѕ α gιт
αℓℓ вє¢υz тнє
[roses r red
poems r corny
take me to bed
coz im feeling horny
wen roses r red
theyre ready to be plucked
[wen i c u next
ur gonna get fucked]
SEX IS A SENSATION
CAUSED BY TEMPTATION
WHEN A GUY STICKS HIS LOCATION
INTO A GIRLS DESTINATION
TO INCREASE POPULATION
FOR THE NEXT GENERATION
YOU GET MY EXPLANATION
OR DO U NEED A DEMONSTRATION?
I'm a BITCH but i got class
fuck with me i'll kick ur ass
to all u hoes that think ur cool
just remember BITCHES RULE!
fuck me hard
fuck me fine
cum n do me 69
Sex is evil
Evil is a sin
Sins are forgiven
so stick that fucker in!!
luv is lk a game play it how eva u lk
u can cheat
play it by the rules
be the loser
or be a winer
u jst have u work out how 2 play
Life is like a boy in puberty...it gets hard every 10 min
Lifes like a dick......
when it gets hard FUCK it
A white man yells to a black man. "Hey colored boy! You're blockin my view."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black"
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"]
A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..
Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.
[In the paper the next day]
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his
breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved
him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even
though it meant that he would die.
*if u love someone this much,repost this*
TO SUNSHINE MY LOVE
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No way
Girl: What would you choose: your life..or me?
Boy: My life
The Girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life
|Age: 15||Year of birth: 1991||Month of birth: 10||Day of birth: 8|
Fantasy race personality: Human
Place of living: USA-Missouri
Elfwood artist: No
Elfwood writer: No
|beer||cars||chasing the preferred sex|
Civil status: single
Sexual preference: both sexes
Body shape: normal
Visit our facebook page