I’m a modern man
A man for the millennium, digital and smoke free.
A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, politically anatomically ecologically incorrect.
I’ve been uplinked and downloaded; I’ve been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing; I know the downside of upgrading.
I’m a high tech lowlife.
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
I’m new wave but I’m old school, and my inner child is outward bound.
I’m a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable,
I interface with me database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive , and from time-to-time, I’m radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead the curve, riding wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope.
I’m on point, on task, on message, and off drugs,
I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge.
I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar.
A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder.
I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.
I’m a totally ongoing Bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with proactive outsearch.
A raging workaholic, a working ragaholic. Out of rehab, and in denial.
I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda.
You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down, ‘cause I’m tireless, and I’m wireless,
I’m an alpha male on beta blockers.
I’m a non-believer, I’m an over-achiever; laid-back but fashioned-forward. Upfront, down-home; low-rent, high-maintenance, super size, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last.
I’m a hand on, foot loose, knee jerk, head case, prematurely post traumatic, and I have a love child that sends me hate mail.
But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver
My output is down but my income is up.
I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, and I watch trash sports.
I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini mall; I bought a minivan in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane,
I’m toll free, bite sized, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes, a fully equipped, a factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle, I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have un unlimited broadband capacity,
I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked and ready to rock, rough tough and hard to bluff,
I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got a glide in my stride.
Drivin’ and movin’, sailing and spinnin,
Jiving and grooving, wailin and winnin
I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose, I keep the pedal to the metal, and the rubber on the road.
I party hearty, and lunch time is crunch time, I’m hanging in, there ain’t no doubt.
And I’m hanging tough, over and out!!!!