K, deleted all the other stuff besides the Charles Manson quote. None of that other information applys to me much anymore. Um, I've changed alot. I'm much more bitter now than I was before. Other than that, if you think that you used to know me, you'll have to start from scratch.
The following is a quote by Charles Manson. He was a disturbed man who ordered the killing of quite a few people, though he never committed the crimes himself. To understand his words you must know a few things. First, he was born to a 16 year old girl on drugs during 1930's. He was in and out of detention centers and jails his entire life. He never had a home or a family. What I will write here is amazingly very truthful.
"I never went to school, so I never growed up to read and write too good, so I stayed in jail and I have stayed stupid, and I have stayed a child while I have watched your world grow up, and then I look at the things that you do and I don’t understand….
You eat meat and you kill things that are better than you are, and then you say how bad, and even killers, your children are. You made your children what they are….
These children that come at you with knives, they are your children. You taught them. I didn’t teach them. I just tried to help them stand up….
Most of the people at the ranch (this is where he is talking about his “followers”) that you call the Family were just people that you did not want, people that were alongside the road, that their parents had kicked out, that did not want to go to Juvenile Hall. So I did the best I could and I took them up on my garbage dump and I told them this: that in love there is not wrong.….
I told them that anything they do for their brothers and sisters is good if they do it with a good thought....
I don’t understand you, but I don’t try. I don’t try to judge nobody. I know that the only person I can judge is me … But I know this: that in your hearts and your own souls, you are as much responsible for the Vietnam war as I am for killing these people….
I can’t judge any of you. I have no malice against you and no ribbons for you. But I think that it is high time that you all start looking at yourselves, and judging the lie that you live in.
I can’t dislike you, but I will say this to you: you haven’t got long before you are all going to kill yourselves, because you are all crazy. And you can project it back at me … but I am only what lives inside each and everyone of you.
My father is the jailhouse. My father is your system … I am only what you made me. I am only a reflection of you.
I have ate out of your garbage cans to stay out of jail. I have wore your second-hand clothes … I have done my best to get along in your world and now you want to kill me, and I look at you, and then I say to myself, You want to kill me? Ha! I’m already dead, have been all my life. I’ve spent twenty-three years in tombs that you built.
Sometimes I think about giving it back to you; sometimes I think about just jumping on you and letting you shoot me … If I could, I would jerk this microphone off and beat your brains out with it, because that is what you deserve, that is what you deserve….
These children [ indicating the female defendants] were finding themselves. What they did, if the did whatever they did, is up to them. They will have to explain that to you….
You expect to break me? Impossible! You broke me years ago. You killed me years ago….
Mr. Bugliosi is a hard-driving prosecutor, polished education, master of words, semantics. He is a genius. He has got everything that every lawyer would want to have except one thing: a case. He doesn’t have a case. Were I allowed to defend myself, I could have proven this to you … The evidence in this case is a gun. There was a gun that laid around the ranch. It belonged to everybody. Anybody could have picked that gun up and done anything they wanted to do with it. I don’t deny having that gun. That gun has been in my possession many times. Like the rope was there because you need rope on a ranch (two of the people killed were with a rope while the rest were shot and stabbed.)… It is really convenient that Mr. Baggot found those clothes. I imagine her got a little taste of money for that…. They put the hideous bodies on [photographic] display and they imply: If he gets out, see what will happen to you…. [Helter Skelter] means confusion, literally.(Manson was obsessed with the beetles and called his little cult helter skelter.) It doesn’t mean any war with anyone. It doesn’t mean that some people are going to kill other people … Helter Skelter is confusion. Confusion is coming down around you fast. If you can’t see the confusion coming down around you fast, you can call it what you wish. Is it a conspiracy that the music is telling the youth to rise up against the establishment because the establishment is rapidly destroying things? Is that a conspiracy? The music speaks to you every day, but you are too deaf, dumb, and blind to even listen to the music … It is not my conspiracy. It is not my music. I hear what it relates. It says “Rise,” is says “Kill.” Why blame it on me? I didn’t write the music….
I haven’t got any guilt about anything because I have never been able to see any wrong … I have always said: Do what your love tells you, and I do what my love tells me … Is it my fault that your children do what you do? What about your children? You say there are just a few? There are many, many more, coming in the same direction. They are running in the streets-and they are coming right at you!"