A mock interview with Paul J. Doyle, 29 July 2009
<pre>All right, that's it . . . why is there a 35 year old guy on MY Internet?</pre>
Well, that's because it's neither your Internet nor mine. Al Gore created the Internet, after all, so therefore it belongs to him. http://www.snopes.com/quotes/internet.asp
<pre>Um . . . whatever. Still, a 35 year old guy on the Internet is scary.
<pre>Aren't you like a stalker, or something?</pre>
Actually, I originally came to Elftown in 2003 as an Internet newbie who'd been generally appalled by most of the websites I'd encountered in the several months since I'd purchased my first-ever PC. Elftown was, from a technical standpoint, creaky and crappy to the extreme. However, there was a then-thriving "Elfwood E-Community" that pretty much made Elftown my true Internet home for a couple years until things started getting a bit too contrary for my liking. But rather than dwell on that, I'll just say that Elftown helped me through a very traumatic loss, the death of my mother. As you can see I joined ET on 12 June 2003, even before my initial Elfwood "ticket" had been accepted. Mom died 30 June 2003 at age 58, after a 22-year battle with the worst case of multiple sclerosis (MS) imaginable. Elftown helped me through that. I could have turned to the bottle, or much worse, but I did not. Thanks to people like [Nocturnaliss] and a bunch of people who are no longer active on ET, I made it through a very very rough part of my life. It also inspired me to start doing artwork for the first time since graduating from high school in 1991, plus gave me a push to complete my first novel, which I finished in mid-2005. Personally, I don't think ET will ever again be the tight, close-knit artistic e-community that it once was, but at the same time I sincerely believe that its worst problems and worst drama are over---THANKFULLY!
<pre>Tl; dr. OK, I confess I DID read that verbal barrage. But still, you're a sorta-buff
35 year old guy with a porn star mustache, penetrating eyes and a rakish grin. You look like
an Internet stalker looking for a rash of wankings. Do you not know how scary that is?</pre>
Well, I can't really help the way I look, and to be quite honest I've been through more than my fair share of real-life letdowns and setbacks. So when I am smiling, I usually mean it. Take a licking and keep on ticking, you know? I'm happy with the way I look, and the mustache stays until it starts going totally grey. And as far as the sexual stuff goes: I am married and bonded (that is, our relationship has ben solidified after many ups and downs)to Kathy for 12 years now, and we have a happy, awesome boy named Patrick, who turns 10 on 3 September 2009. While online I have absolutely no interest in cybersex or anything of that general nature. To put in a nutshell: I have no problem getting laid, thank you very much! Personally, I believe Elftown is not meant to be a fap-fest kind of "fantasy site". With that in mind there are more pictures of Pauly the Anthro-Dragon than there are photos of myself. Next question . . .
<pre> . . . </pre>
*sighs* You know, why do people even bother writing stuff like that? At least make an effort to write something you mean. This isn't AOL!
<pre>Fine, be that way. Snob! So when are you joining the Elftown Crew, O Mister High and Mighty?</pre>
. . .
<pre>Wow, someone's being a hypocrite.</pre>
Well, sometimes here on the Internet we make drama simply for the sake of having drama. Frankly, I'm drama'd out, so let's move along to the next question, mmkay?
<pre>Fine. Unlike certain people on this website, do you actually have a real life?</pre>
Well, now! That's better. As you can clearly see by the overall lack of activity on Elftown right now, people DO have lives outside of Elftown. It's summer right now, at least for those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere. Since the "core" Elftowners are well older than the average brainless Myspacer, chances are very good Elftown ranks low on their priorities since they likely have families, maybe grandchildren, and certainly enough stuff to keep them busy.
<pre>What the hell kind of bullshit evasive answer is that? Are you thinking of being a politician?
I hear the governor's seat in Alaska is open right now, by the way. Oh, and that of Vicemayor as well.
But keep that under your hat!</pre>
I beg your pardon, but I am not trying to be elusive. *rolls eyes* Anyway, you wanted to know about me, so here you go, quoted from the previous presentation version:
'In real life I am (as of 2 March 2008) promoted to "full" Floor Supervisor at a very famous tribal casino. This means that I am in a suit (yes, a suit) supervising several table games and their dealers within a gambling area, or "pit". I am currently qualified to supervise the following games: Blackjack (and its Spanish 21 variant), Mini-Baccarat, all "Novelty" games (such as Caribbean stud, Let It ride, Three Card Poker, Texas Hold 'Em, etc) Pai Gow Poker, Pai Gow Dominoes ("Tiles") and Roulette.'
<pre>What about Craps?</pre>
Well, I have Craps on my old dealing license, but because of a lot of ill-timed staffing rules changes I never got anywhere near enough time dealing the game, whether as a base dealer or as a Stickperson. Back in 2006/2007 I'd briefly deal it once or twice a week, then go for months on end without dealing it at all, no matter how many special requests I made. When I did deal it, I'd usually be switched to another game or asked to "suit up" to supervise somewhere else. My seniority, solid reputation and former Assistant Floor Supervisor position (also known as "dual-rate") should have given me lots of leverage but wound up not happening, due to the sudden stupid staffing rules changes. Since it's absolutely imperative you deal the game several months straight before you "sit Box" (that is, you're the seated supervisor subordinate to the supervisor standing behind the game, seated between the two base dealers, and directly across from the Stickperson) I became a Full Floor without Craps on my supervisory license. Yep, the Craps experience was a all-around fiasco. If they're ever desperate for me to supervise Craps, I'm goping to have to start over again from scratch, and seeing how they've had several rules changes (the Fire Bets, 5x Odds, etc etc, I'm not sure if this is in anyone's best interest. In a recession, you want good crews on a Craps game, not someone who hasn't dealt any game in almost two years! After all, I can and do competently supervise every other game we have in Table Games. And in case you're wondering, I don't have Poker, as that is in another department, and I don't know the first thing about slot machines.
<pre>Huh?</pre>
If you've ever worked in Gaming at a casino, you'll have a better clue of what I'm saying. Basically, my Craps experience was really crappy. But shit happens, and life goes on. Next question!
<pre>Um, okay. What compels a younger man to marry an older woman? Were you preyed upon by a cougar?</pre>
<b><blue>*shakes head wearily* Well, several "cougars" have made advances on me but frankly I'm married, and married well. Kathy is a kindred spirit who has been through similar ups and downs, though her "downs" were much more horrible than I ever went through. As long as both the man and the woman are an adult, does age really make a difference as long as the love is there? and it's not like I married someone's great-grandma, for crying out loud. We intend to age gracefully as a couple, while still being goofy and fun and silly and young at heart. But yeah, back in the day Kathy prayed and then preyed. How could I say no to one of the very few people on Earth who understands me, and knows where I'm coming from? Actually, I got on my knee first, though she was hitting on me like crazy before we first started seriously dating. And to further prove the point, we have anthropomorphic dragon characters that are loose cariacatures of ourselves.
<pre>What the hell, are you some kind of furfag? And don't tell me Kathy is as much into that as you are.</pre>
"Furfag". What a stupid term. OK, so most of the people in the furry fandom are gay or bisexual, but to be quite honest that's sort of "par for the course" anywhere in the arts/entertainment world . . . althought it's a lot more obvious in the furry fandom. You can label me whatever you want to, but yes I am in the furry fandom though by no means the stereotypical "furfag". My wife and I have been to exactly one furry convention (Furfright 2006) and saw plenty of weirdness that we personally do not touch with a ten-foot pole. We are not driven to conventions by mindlessly putting them ahead of real-life priorities. (This is commonly found in the fandom!) Also, we haven't had the time or spare money to attend the last few. And no, Kathy isn't into the furry fandom as much as I am, though she does want me to help her design an anthropomorphic guinea pig character for her. She likes the kathy the Anthro-Dragoness character, but she wants somthing with her own personal touch, which is fine. She has no objections to my furry fandom interest (which is quite safe compared to a lot of peoples' furry-fandom interest!) and is both curious and amused by what she's experienced.
---Continued, 4 August 2009---
<pre>OK, so why does your character (and his wife and son, for that matter) have such banal, wholly uncreative names?</pre>
Well, that's because there are parallels to the "real us" although we're not being delusional about who we really are. Also, Disney and Warner Brothers have proven that it's wise to keep names of cartoon/comic characters short, instead of being "different" simply for the sake of sounding "different". People will remember Donald Duck, but they probably won't easily remember Perceival the Polygamous Platypus. Also, for me personally the name "Pauly the Anthro-Dragon" serves as a reminder to not include him in my novel sequence, even though his species will certainly be in the 4th and 5th novels. The novels are "serious" and though they have funny moments they are not construed to be straight up comedy, on any level. I save the "fancier" names for that. For instance, the most prominent dragon in the books is called Jak'edrac.
<pre>Um, that rhymes with "Shaq Attack." That's not creative. That's just stupid!</pre>
Oh, bite me. I follow Shaquille O'Neal on Twitter, but when I first came up with the Jak'edrac sel'Gury character I was 13 years old and his name was a bit different. So there.
<pre>Fine . . . so you got the first book finished in 2005, and you got the copyright registered with the United States library of Congress shortly thereafer . . . and you still haven't gotten the damn thing published. Please tell me what year it is?</pre>
Wow, you don't know? You dumb ass.
<pre>My point is that's it's now mid-2009. Why haven't you gotten the first novel published? 2005 is starting to become a long, long time ago.</pre>
<b>Indeed, it has been. I got promoted twice in real life, from Full-Time Dealer to Assistant Floor Supervisor (2005) and then from Assistant Floor Supervisor to "full" Floor Supervisor in 2008. The changes in the first promotions were jarring, since I'd never really supervised anything or anyone before. The transition was much smoother during the second promotion, since I'd been doing 99% supervising/1% dealing for the previous year. In addition, my relationship with Kathy went through a lot of major ups and downs, and we had repeated financial crises to contend with, as well. Frequently I also got sidetracked . . . a lot. Though I have a treated case of Adult ADHD, let me be the first to tell you that "treatment" and "cure" are not the same thing!
43°3.4499'N 72°42.414'W