[shadowfire09]'s diary

1034039  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2008-06-06
Written: (4495 days ago)

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jade!
Jade can grow up to three feet in a 24 hour period.
The only planet that rotates on its side is Jade!
There are now more than 4000 satellites orbiting Jade.
Jade is 984 feet tall.
Jade can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated!
Europe is the only continent that lacks Jade.
Jade can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant!
Over 46,000 pieces of Jade float on every square mile of ocean!
Worldwide, Jade is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects!
Never store Jade at room temperature!

1034038  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2008-06-06
Written: (4495 days ago)

Q: Type in "<your name> needs" in the Google search:

A. Jade needs to help thrive again.
   yeah, cuz that makes sense.
Q: Type in "<your name> looks like" in Google search:

A: Jade looks like just another Hex variant until you've made a few moves, work out what's really going on, and your brain has a hernia
  hehehe, brain hernia..

Q: Type in "<your name> says" in Google search:

A: Jade says Holla beeyatch.
    so apparently i'm a gangsta now....Eh, go figure.

Q: Type in "<your name> wants" in Google search:

A: Jade wants a boob job.
    ummm...no. mine are fine, thanks.

Q: Type in "<your name> does" in Google search:

A: Jade Does and impression of the old man on the Grudge 2.
    I've never even seen it. Mahn, i'm AHHH----SOME!

Q: Type in "<your name> hates" in Google search:

A: Jade Hates Flies.
    well, I don't hate them...but they annoy me I guess...

Q: Type in "<your name> asks" in Google search:

A: Jade Asks Charlie what he'd like to be remembered for.
      I bet the answer was "for biting my older brother..."

Q: Type in "<your name> goes" in Google search:

A:Jade Goes to candy mountain.
     Haha, I do have the theme song memorized
        too much time on youtube

Q: Type in "<your name> likes" in Google search:

A: Jade likes pubes.
      yeah, how about not.

Q: Type in "<your name> eats" in Google search:

A: Jade eats babies.
     thomas would love that.

Q: Type in "<your name> wears" in Google search:

A: Jade wears diapers now.
     YES! no more toilet monsters...

Q: Type in "<your name> was arrested for" in Google Search:

A: Jade was arrested for Drink-swingmaking.
    when i figure out what that is, i'm totally doing it

1001800  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-12-30
Written: (4654 days ago)

I hate people with cool names, who have nothing in the bio....or just turn out to be the random shallow nothings that this place has become...

I long for the days when house zapping was actually profitable....where you could house zap and come across some treasure trove of a bio...not just, some stupid, copy-pasted forward ridden lyric filled bullshit...composed by some slutty manwhore who is just looking for cyber sex because they are either can't go out and get anythign real, or they're permanantly horny and can't get enough..either way, not good...

991529  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-11-12
Written: (4702 days ago)

okay. I'm officially a nerd.

And it's awesome. hehe...Yup. that's right..for the first time ever...I, [shadowfire09] has played dungeons and dragons...

and i kicked butt i'd like to say!

hehe...but that was more just lucky dice roleing...

hehe...i was pissing thomas (the dungeon master) off..cuz he couldn't ever get hits on me...cuz he'd always role one less than would let him. *sniggers*....

        though he decided it'd be funny to make me get grouped...seeing as i was the only girl there.

so in this night...kkk W.O.W has been made into a really dirty masturbation joke (thanks bryan) if i was a man, i'd have a 20 inch long penis (fun dice roleing game...with a 20 sided dice. *you ask the die a numer question such as "how long till i die...(which by the way...i roled a 7..and we were going by days...CREEPY!!!!) because jeremy is a pervert....and my boyfriend was kidnapped by the night by bryan and thomas...and i'm not allowed to have contact with him till noon tommorrow.

GAH!!!...oh well...that's quite okay..seeing as i work from freaking 6 in the morning till 2:30 in the afternoon *dies slow and horrible death*

that is, if i kept my job...

I lost my temper at work...everything was breaking down, there were double patients, and we were over an hour behind......

     I was downstairs, so it had nothing to do to me...
but my "supervisor" for the night, who honestly has it out for me..., decided that she would write me up, for negligent behavior, smart-mouthing, and purposly damaging the machinery...

which i wasn't even near. Now, the kicker is...she didn't tell me. Which is way way against the rules..if you get written up by a supervisor, you're supposed to be notified immediatly....

I found out because she left the slip laying on the desk...

asked her about it...she shrugged, and i asked her why she left a slip like that out for everyone to see....*admittedly, i could have been nicer...but under the circumstances...i did pretty well*

her exact words were "well, if it were an important employee and not someone with the intellegence of the dishes she has to wash....i would have. But i didn't even figure you'd know what this said..." as bitchy as she could...


     I hit her.....
          okay. it was more of a bitch slap....but it felt so good. left a pretty good welt on her face too.

stupid stupid bitch...

I lost my temper...and that's why evan (my boyfriend ftwdk *for those who don't know...ftwdk) invited me to play dungeons and dragons...so i could "make fun of him being nerdy..." (which i would never honestly do...but hanging out with him, thomas, jer, and b-ry...there's gonna be slams...(oh and i'm not allowed to call bryan b-ry....hehehe but seeing as i'm lazy and not one of them is on elftown...i'm gonna do it...just to spite them...hehehe) so its' a major anger reliever...

though not one of them expected that i'd actually like the game...and be quick to understand it. it clicked...

and it was fun!!! WHEEEEE

989185  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-11-04
Written: (4710 days ago)

Don't you just love clicking on someone's house, and the first thing you see is either "Fuck off..." or someone flipping off the camera?...It just makes my day to see that human intellegence has been reduced to nothing more than that. oh, but it's simply brilliant when it's both...I mean, the combination of the middle finger and a swear word...they should win the freaking nobel prize for the genious-ness

I mean, don't get me wrong..i swear casually...*sorry to all offended by that* But when you're on the internet...making a description....for people all over the freaking world to see...I should think you'd have a little more to say than "Fuck off bitches..." or whatever...

988119  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-10-31
Written: (4714 days ago)
Next in thread: 988626


I step forward
A faltering chance
Rehearsing to myself,
What I can say.

Short clauses
Stuttering voice
Uneasy stomach
Heartbeat furious

You’re in front of me
I stare in disbelief
I become inarticulate
Can you feel my belligerence?

Furtive effigy
Ineffectual glances
Inscrutable heart
Tacit anger

My statements are festooned in harsh honesty.
Oh, how I would love to see you founder.
This… is… a conspiracy.
You falter to stand upright.

Shattered glass
Bloodied knuckles
Tempestuous coincidence
Dubious encounter

I speak calmly, at first.
Relaying my message,
Then, just as abrupt as a wall,
I shattered the glass of your pride.

I shouted…

My rapt face shined clear.
YOU are a manipulative, ludicrous,
Failure at life,

You think I wouldn’t care?
That’s your problem
Incompetent bastard

I looked at him…
Straight in the face
I stood upright
Finally seeming taller

You, disgust me
I stare in tacit
My incursion harsh
I wish I never would have met you


He opens his mouth as if to speak
Then realizes the intensity of my voice
I pause a moment
As if to take back everything, cry, and apologize.

I look up, after staring blankly into the dirt,
You are an effigy.
Again, I pause to recollect myself.
I look up again.

In the same manner, I begin to speak
First calmly, I never want to see you again
My voice gradually changes in volume
Get… Out… Of… my… FUCKING SIGHT!

I walk away
Calmly I start my stride
Knowing I will never see his face again
Never letting him manipulate me.

No. i didn' t write it. i was house zapping and i came across it...but it rocks.

983345  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-10-13
Written: (4732 days ago)

TODAY ROCKED!!! oh yeah....

somehow..our small city (okay...so average...sized)

managed to get BABY TIGERS that you could actually play with...like get in the cage and play with...for 25 bucks...

and to have one of my best friends [DarkAngel3] and my beloved boyfriend Evan...playing with tigers...

IT totally rocked!!!!

976801  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-09-18
Written: (4757 days ago)

I hate how i get left out because everyone assumes i'm working, when half the time i'm not.

don't even get asked anymore.

and that really sucks...

974661  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-09-10
Written: (4765 days ago)
Next in thread: 974719, 976769

Anyways, More fun white ninja links...I'm gonna go through the whole list...you better enjoy this..
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/deadboy.shtml <Jars..heehee

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/santa.shtml the true meaning of christmas...

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/findfunny.shtml It's a brain teaser..CAn you figure it out?

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/icefishing.shtml This would be pulling a jade move..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bonebike.shtml It's a ghost rider!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pregnant.shtml<It's like dejavu

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/halloween.shtml< another brain teaser

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sleeps.shtml <a truly awesome prank!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/grapes.shtml <k i lied, this is the greatest prank..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/prankster.shtml <the pranking just never ends!!!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hairy.shtml < hehee

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/duck.shtml <bread..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bill.shtml Poor bill...
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dinner.shtml on eof my favorites..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/doctor.shtml knowing the docters i do...this is a common occurance...

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comicsmagiclamp.shtml <SUPER FAVORITE!!!
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/drivethru.shtml ultimate super favorite!!
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/egg.shtml <who does this remind jade of?..*hint it starts with an m and ends with a boat..."

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mole.shtml <proof those machines are evil!!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/record.shtml < we need to play this game!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/racket.shtml <this made me grin

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/parched.shtml <another super awesome one!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/laundry.shtml <OKAY THIS ONEIS THE BEST EVER!!!
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tired.shtml< the best way to pick up chicks..
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/farm.shtml< this reminded me of pizza hut

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/content.shtml melons rule..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/home.shtml another good prank!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/beststick.shtml <something coral and i would and problably have done..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/breakfast.shtml surprise in yoru cereal..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/slippers.shtml <bunnies..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/munga.shtml <MUNGA MUNGA!!
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/roommate.shtml this is why i want my own room...
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/roommate.shtml this is another favorites of mine

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/corner.shtml he's pulling a jade again

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/weight.shtml I gotta remember to send this one to my warrior seal princess andre lol

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/birthday.shtml since it's gary birthday and all, i'm sending this to him

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/birthday.shtml This is me and my thirteen yearold brother husband jordan..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/genie.shtml white ninja is a good firend
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bird.shtml a literal jail bird!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/invention.shtml its a comb for bald people..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lap.shtml <hee heee hee
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/morning.shtml <pure greatness

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tan.shtml <SUPER SPECTACULAR...was my sn for a very long time..hehe
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/camp.shtml *snigger*

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/prison.shtml AHAAAHAHAH!!!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/nose.shtml NOSE SNIPERS!!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/school.shtml This is somethign My dad would do

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/crystal.shtml yes we drink out of shoes

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/environment.shtml stupid women

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sweet.shtml all men should be as sweet as this..heehee

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wine.shtml stomping

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/scabby.shtml scabs!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/spoils.shtml I wish i were his daughter..

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/principal.shtml this would be better than green and white

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sensitive.shtml heehee

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/couple.shtml this is something i would totally do

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/goodthing.shtml this reveals my secret! lol

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/practical.shtml he's the best father ever!
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/editor.shtml yet again, white ninja pulls a jade

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/atoms.shtml specfreakingtacular!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fiddle.shtml this is like half the guys in pierre

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/luck.shtml he is the luckiest guy in the world!
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mitts.shtml i want to be a mitten now
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/thedeath.shtml another one of my favorites...it's got to be the best will ever!
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/photographer.shtml apples are punks

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/soup.shtml i've honestly though this before too

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/clouds.shtml one of my favorite quotes is in this one

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/crashtest.shtml yes...kitten killer!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sosleepy.shtml i love his logic!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/barber.shtml he should do my hair

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/midget.shtml (i've prolly already showed this one)

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dinosaur.shtml STAY EXTINCT!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fathersday.shtml he pulls another jade move

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/files.shtml grammar is gross!!!

http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/ninjaturtle.shtml white ninja turtle!!

there...some of the best ...i went through every comic..you better feel loved..


974296  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-09-08
Written: (4766 days ago)

you know you need to gain more culture when...

here's an interesting epiphany i had today. I like classical music.

how did i discover this?. I had to call the all-tell help line for somethign about my phone, and i was listening to the waiting music they play...I was like, dude..this song rocks...

I got so into listenign to the music i forgot my question, and asked them to put the music back on...which they did...it was great...

973291  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-09-04
Written: (4770 days ago)

k [The Black Cat in Your Path] This one is mainly for you...

The Seminary Gang Saga

You wanted to see the most amazing story i've been raving about

You have to click the sotires...an dbooks three and four arn't up yet cuz they'r enot written. but you can read one and twoo...And love them too...

Then spread the word to your buddies!!!...it's gonna be EPIC!

*please note* you might possibly find spoilers seeing as we just made it today...but i figured you'd like it!

973277  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-09-04
Written: (4770 days ago)
Next in thread: 973281

and now, and Important News Bulletin

Ok,folks, here's the real scope. A ms. Jade ************* went to the clinic today to find out what was really wrong with her, however...they sent her to the hospitol where she was forced to stay for two long hours. Blood was drawn, throats were swabbed..lights were flashed...

Never have I felt more ..Examined...

As Previously Noted, Jade thought she Had recently gotten over a weekend long sickness and then contracted pink-eye. BUT THAT WASN"T THE CASE!!!

She has now been informed (after much deliberation) that she in fact has a disease (of which she forgets the name) that can affect entire halfs and functions of your body...In her case, the right side. (But she's not contagious, so anyone who has come into contact with her Needn't worry)

This means that She has Currently the following body parts not functioning correctly body parts. One lung, One eye, one ear, and one tonsil...and no reflexes on the right half of her body..

Which means for the better half of a month She's pretty much screwed over...

But she isn't Down for the count. To fight this terrible ordeal she has been prescribed to 8 different antibiotics in hopes of curing this terrible illness.

When Asked How she planned to deal with this ordeal, Ms. Jade Replied "Well, I'm gonna go to school and just wait it out, And hopefully to remember to take all of the stupid pills...and crap."

Our Hearts go out to you Jade...

And in other news...Squirrells running into windows...Natures entertainment or Just plain annoying?...

Full story at 11
973208  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-09-04
Written: (4770 days ago)

Will I never be healthy?

as if it wasn't freaking bad enough that I had to waste the first weekend (not to mention the first three day weekend) in bed becuase of some unnamed sickness..

The day i feel completely fine..almost...I GET FRICKEN PINKEYE!!!

It's not fair...It's not fair!*rants and bawls...which hurts...*

And the stupid school nurse didn't come into school ntil second period...so i had to sit through a painful open period with my eyes watering and nose running...trying to act like i'm fine...while feeling totally miserable..

and it didn't help that everyone kepttelling me i looked like shit...or asking me why i was crying...I was like...i'm sick...not sad...

but now i'm sitting here...in my room...in the dark...It feels nice...

but it sucks...cuz i acutally LIKE school this year..

God, Why couldn't you have made it so i Was this sick last year..when i hated my classes and was totally miserable...

973207  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-09-04
Written: (4770 days ago)

Will I never be healthy?

as if it wasn't freaking bad enough that I had to waste the first weekend (not to mention the first three day weekend) in bed becuase of some unnamed sickness..

The day i feel completely fine..almost...I GET FRICKEN PINKEYE!!!

It's not fair...It's not fair!*rants and bawls...which hurts...*

And the stupid school nurse didn't come into school ntil second period...so i had to sit through a painful open period with my eyes watering and nose running...trying to act like i'm fine...while feeling totally miserable..

and it didn't help that everyone kepttelling me i looked like shit...or asking me why i was crying...I was like...i'm sick...not sad...

but now i'm sitting here...in my room...in the dark...It feels nice...

but it sucks...cuz i acutally LIKE school this year..

God, Why couldn't you have made it so i Was this sick last year..when i hated my classes and was totally miserable...

972496  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-09-01
Written: (4773 days ago)
Next in thread: 972898


1.At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.See if they slow down.

2.Page yourself over the intercom,don't disguise your voice.

3.Every time people ask you to do something,ask if they want fries with that.

4.Put your garbage can on your desk and lable it "in"

5.Put decaff in the cofee maker for 3 weeks.Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine additions,switch to espresso.

6.in the memo field of all of your checks write "for sexual favors"

7.Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy"

8.Don't use any punctuation marks

9.As often as possible,skip rather than walk.

10.Ask people what sex they are.Laugh after they answer.

11.specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

12.Sing along at the opera.

13.Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14.Put mosquito netting around your work area and play a tape of jungle sounds.

15.Five days in advance,tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood

16.Have your friends adress you by your wrestling name,Rock Hard Devon.

17.When the money comes out the ATM,scream"I won,I won,3rd time this week!"

18.When leaving the zoo,start running towards the parking lot screaming"run for your lives,they're loose!"

19.Tell your children over dinner,"Due to the economy we are going to have to let one of you go.

-Friends: People who know you well, but like you anyway.

-If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure. --Vice President Dan Quayle

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

-Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. ~mandi's back pack

Wisdom comes with age. Death comes with age. Therefore, wisdom is dangerous.

Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The more people I meet the more I like my bird. ~used to be cat. but i don't have one of those.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Coincidence: when God chooses to remain anonymous.

It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents. It's how he found out.

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

[Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator]

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

969935  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-08-24
Written: (4781 days ago)

my sister is the greatest sometimes here's why

"CORAL you suck!" me
"...actually, i don't. If everything is moving away from you...it's cuz you blow."

i was like...dude.

 The logged in version 

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