I could make the effort and write something poetically beautiful, but I'm the only online member in the entire world of ET so Whats the point?
Nostalgia hurts like a bitch sometimes.
You're breaking my heart
it's not even yours to break.
Go to hell.
Your silence is worse than anything
I don't even know which way is up
How could I let you make me feel this way?
Give me my heart back.
Remarkable. That's the word he chose.
Remarkable? That's not a word used to describe me.
Ordinary, now that's a word I'm used to.
Forgettable, and there's a word I deserve.
...But he said "Remarkable"
He doesn't even know me.
How could he be right?
Is he right?
No. I know better.
He said "You're charming."
I'm awkward at best.
"Why can't you see how wonderful you are?"
Because I'm not?
Am I? Could i be?
God. How does this happen?
How do a few words and a handful of texts.
make my heart flutter. Everytime.
Am I that easily won?
I know the game. I play it well.
But he didn't say "Beautiful."
He didn't say "Gorgeous."
He said remarkable.
It's like he read my mind.
He's just a better player
He doesn't even matter.
He just wants me for a fling.
God. He's absorbed my brain.
This is wrong.
I need to put my walls up.
Call the guards of my heart
back to their posts.
I'm calling it war
He's too charming to be true.
Still, I can't help it.
I'm dying for it to be real.
My heart can't belong to him.
But he can borrow it for a while
I'll play along, for now.
I'll play until remarkable
I'll play along, for now,
until he's not confused.
It's the least I could do
God. I hope he's right.
But he'll never know if he is.
Game on. Game over.
I just typed a whole long diary entry and my fat fucking fingers deleted it because I don't know how to use my new laptop. G. Sus.
I should update update my house. It's been forever. I Think the time I wrote all the stuff on there was in 8th grade. Maybe freshman year. Almost all of the wiki's listed are dead, and I have made different friends on elftown, [The Black Cat in Your Path], and the ones that are listed either we don't talk anymore, or never get on anymore :-(
but i read the bio part and whatnot, and that hasn't changed. How sad is that? I havn't changed since 8th grade. I just graduated...
Screw it. my laptop is screwing with my typing. The cursor keeps moving to random places in the already typed text. Anyone know how to fix it/
you're freaking psychic. that's a little creepy....How did you know we'd like each other?...
I'm missing you guys terribly already!!!! I can't believe we won't see you for another two years...that's freaking CRAZY!!!!
Trying to convince Dan to move in with Matt up here when he turns 18. It would rock. haha. It's a good thing he's got unlimited texting...cuz I'll probably harrass him for like, ever through it.
It was surpisingly even amazing to see Jon again, and really hard to see him go. But he'll be back in three and a half months supposedly, and for good. *I'm a bit nervous about that...*
I've read the second and half of the third book today.
This trip has revamped my energy for doing the books. You have to write every chance you get....
And you have to call me every week
yes. that's right.
That previous diary, is EVAN admitting that ME! Jade...has beaten him logically.
it is a great day to be jade.
Why so serious? says:
And no matter what, I'm still the nerdy guy. Whatever happens, no matter how much it seems there aren't cliques anymore, with a lot of people you just can't talk to them just because of who you are.
What's wrong with being the nerdy guy?
you are good looking, youre intellegent, you're smarter than half the human population *don't you dare let that go to your head*
and you've got a girlfriend who loves you
why do you care about anyone else?
that's how i figure things. why bother caring?
and when you don't care is when it grabs peoples attention and makes you matter to them
Why so serious? says:
Why so serious? says:
You just beat me in an argument.
what? no way
i didn't know we were even arguing!!! *this is a momentus day*
Why so serious? says:
i'm so saving that part of me talking till now. you just watch.
Why so serious? says:
Not necessarily 'arguing', but you just bested me logically
nope. from right there!
everything is so messed up and confusign
oh it feels good to be back on the internet. well actualyl it feels good to be able to feel good enough to be able to want to do anything
i got a really bad kidney infection, and ended up in the hospital from tuesday to today *thursday* hopefully i get to go home today...*cross
sorry i haven't been chatting tyr...i've missed you...8D
i'll give a little run down of this sickness
friday, i was feelign kinda achy, but nothing serious,
saturday, i was feel achy and nauseous
sunday..felt a little better, but it started to hurt when i peed
monday, i thought i was gonna die, and begged my parents to make me an appointment at the clinic for tuesday
tuesday, I went to the clinic at 1:30...was there till 4, when they told me they were gonna call my mom and put me in the hospital...i had a 103.6 degree temperature, and was so out of it....but in so much pain
so they put an IV in me...*my sisters named it steven....8D* and yeah. sydney and allison and everyone from food and nutrition *where i work* came up to visit me, along with my boyfriend jeremy and thomas.
that night i didn't sleep too well...and i puked a couple times during the day.
wednesday: *yesterday*i had to drink this nasty stuff, becaue i had to get a catscan of my kidneys, was supposed to drink two bottles, i drank 1/4 of the first one...i culd take it. i was feeling way better in the morning, but i still had a 100 temperature, and i couldn't get up wtihout my head killing me...sydney, zach, allison & squeak, jeremy kenzi and gary came up and visted me *at different times* again. i felt loved. but then my temp spiked up to 104 and i honestly thought i was gonna die...
but then it went back down after like two hours...*and alot of medicine*i took two showers that day
today, i feel so much better, restelss though, i really want to get up and run...and i can eat again...but it's only 7:17 in the morning...so we'll see...
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jade!
Jade can grow up to three feet in a 24 hour period.
The only planet that rotates on its side is Jade!
There are now more than 4000 satellites orbiting Jade.
Jade is 984 feet tall.
Jade can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated!
Europe is the only continent that lacks Jade.
Jade can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant!
Over 46,000 pieces of Jade float on every square mile of ocean!
Worldwide, Jade is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects!
Never store Jade at room temperature!
Q: Type in "<your name> needs" in the Google search:
A. Jade needs to help thrive again.
yeah, cuz that makes sense.
Q: Type in "<your name> looks like" in Google search:
A: Jade looks like just another Hex variant until you've made a few moves, work out what's really going on, and your brain has a hernia
hehehe, brain hernia..
Q: Type in "<your name> says" in Google search:
A: Jade says Holla beeyatch.
so apparently i'm a gangsta now....Eh, go figure.
Q: Type in "<your name> wants" in Google search:
A: Jade wants a boob job.
ummm...no. mine are fine, thanks.
Q: Type in "<your name> does" in Google search:
A: Jade Does and impression of the old man on the Grudge 2.
I've never even seen it. Mahn, i'm AHHH----SOME!
Q: Type in "<your name> hates" in Google search:
A: Jade Hates Flies.
well, I don't hate them...but they annoy me I guess...
Q: Type in "<your name> asks" in Google search:
A: Jade Asks Charlie what he'd like to be remembered for.
I bet the answer was "for biting my older brother..."
Q: Type in "<your name> goes" in Google search:
A:Jade Goes to candy mountain.
Haha, I do have the theme song memorized
too much time on youtube
Q: Type in "<your name> likes" in Google search:
A: Jade likes pubes.
yeah, how about not.
Q: Type in "<your name> eats" in Google search:
A: Jade eats babies.
thomas would love that.
Q: Type in "<your name> wears" in Google search:
A: Jade wears diapers now.
YES! no more toilet monsters...
Q: Type in "<your name> was arrested for" in Google Search:
A: Jade was arrested for Drink-swingmak
when i figure out what that is, i'm totally doing it
I hate people with cool names, who have nothing in the bio....or just turn out to be the random shallow nothings that this place has become...
I long for the days when house zapping was actually profitable....
okay. I'm officially a nerd.
And it's awesome. hehe...Yup. that's right..for the first time ever...I, [shadowfire09] has played dungeons and dragons...
and i kicked butt i'd like to say!
hehe...but that was more just lucky dice roleing...
hehe...i was pissing thomas (the dungeon master) off..cuz he couldn't ever get hits on me...cuz he'd always role one less than would let him. *sniggers*....
though he decided it'd be funny to make me get grouped...seei
so in this night...kkk W.O.W has been made into a really dirty masturbation joke (thanks bryan) if i was a man, i'd have a 20 inch long penis (fun dice roleing game...with a 20 sided dice. *you ask the die a numer question such as "how long till i die...(which by the way...i roled a 7..and we were going by days...CREEPY!
GAH!!!...oh well...that's quite okay..seeing as i work from freaking 6 in the morning till 2:30 in the afternoon *dies slow and horrible death*
that is, if i kept my job...
I lost my temper at work...everyth
I was downstairs, so it had nothing to do to me...
but my "supervisor" for the night, who honestly has it out for me..., decided that she would write me up, for negligent behavior, smart-mouthing
which i wasn't even near. Now, the kicker is...she didn't tell me. Which is way way against the rules..if you get written up by a supervisor, you're supposed to be notified immediatly....
I found out because she left the slip laying on the desk...
asked her about it...she shrugged, and i asked her why she left a slip like that out for everyone to see....*admitt
her exact words were "well, if it were an important employee and not someone with the intellegence of the dishes she has to wash....i would have. But i didn't even figure you'd know what this said..." as bitchy as she could...
I hit her.....
okay. it was more of a bitch slap....but it felt so good. left a pretty good welt on her face too.
stupid stupid bitch...
I lost my temper...and that's why evan (my boyfriend ftwdk *for those who don't know...ftwdk) invited me to play dungeons and dragons...so i could "make fun of him being nerdy..." (which i would never honestly do...but hanging out with him, thomas, jer, and b-ry...there's gonna be slams...(oh and i'm not allowed to call bryan b-ry....hehehe but seeing as i'm lazy and not one of them is on elftown...i'm gonna do it...just to spite them...hehehe) so its' a major anger reliever...
though not one of them expected that i'd actually like the game...and be quick to understand it. it clicked...
and it was fun!!! WHEEEEE
Don't you just love clicking on someone's house, and the first thing you see is either "Fuck off..." or someone flipping off the camera?...It just makes my day to see that human intellegence has been reduced to nothing more than that. oh, but it's simply brilliant when it's both...I mean, the combination of the middle finger and a swear word...they should win the freaking nobel prize for the genious-ness
I mean, don't get me wrong..i swear casually...*so
I step forward
A faltering chance
Rehearsing to myself,
What I can say.
You’re in front of me
I stare in disbelief
I become inarticulate
Can you feel my belligerence?
My statements are festooned in harsh honesty.
Oh, how I would love to see you founder.
This… is… a conspiracy.
You falter to stand upright.
I speak calmly, at first.
Relaying my message,
Then, just as abrupt as a wall,
I shattered the glass of your pride.
YOU FUCKING LIED!
My rapt face shined clear.
YOU are a manipulative, ludicrous,
Failure at life,
You think I wouldn’t care?
YOU FUCKING THINK…
That’s your problem
I looked at him…
Straight in the face
I stood upright
Finally seeming taller
You, disgust me
I stare in tacit
My incursion harsh
I wish I never would have met you
He opens his mouth as if to speak
Then realizes the intensity of my voice
I pause a moment
As if to take back everything, cry, and apologize.
I look up, after staring blankly into the dirt,
You are an effigy.
Again, I pause to recollect myself.
I look up again.
In the same manner, I begin to speak
First calmly, I never want to see you again
My voice gradually changes in volume
Get… Out… Of… my… FUCKING SIGHT!
I walk away
Calmly I start my stride
Knowing I will never see his face again
Never letting him manipulate me.
No. i didn' t write it. i was house zapping and i came across it...but it rocks.