[RoseAngel]'s diary

437083  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-12-07
Written: (5718 days ago)

All of my hate cannot be bound. I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming.
Now you can try to tear me down...beat me to the ground, I will see you screaming.

399592  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-11-03
Written: (5753 days ago)

I know what died that night.
It can never be brought back to life once again,
I know, I know.

I know I died that night, and I'll never be brought back to life.
Once again, I know.

If you listen.
Listen close, beat-by-beat,
You can hear when the heart stops.
I saved the pieces when it broke and ground them all to dust.

392223  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-10-27
Written: (5760 days ago)

When this began I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find that
I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
but all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I want to heal, I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I want to heal, I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real.
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I've got nothing to say
I cant believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
I was confused
looking everywhere only to find that it's
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
Cause I cant justify the way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I want to heal, I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I want to heal, I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today

I want to heal, I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I want to heal, I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I want to heal, I want to feel like
I'm somewhere I belong
I want to heal, I want to feel like
I'm somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

-Linkin Park, Somewhere I Belong-

388046  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-10-23
Written: (5764 days ago)

Take my hand, I'll be everything to you.
Take my hand, I'll take everything from you.
I will seep under your skin. I will.
I will hold onto your heart. I will.

What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?
What have you done?
DONE!

383280  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-18
Written: (5769 days ago)

I wanna be pushed aside
So let me go
No turning back now
Let me take back my life
I'd rather be all alone
No turning back now
Anywhere on my own

383269  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-10-17
Written: (5769 days ago)

From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of you...and now that I'm with you, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets.

The thought of not being with you.....I can't breathe.

I'm haunted by the kiss, you never should of given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar.

You are in my very soul, tormenting me.

What can I do? I will do anything you ask.

--Anakin Skywalker
381945  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-10-16
Written: (5770 days ago)
Next in thread: 382357

Forgotten


Sitting within the midst of her life. Cloaked in a morose veil. Her face stained by her abiding tears. Her sullen eyes, tired and weary.

Watching her life shatter and fall around her, she turns her head, forcing back tears. She cannot shed another tear. Each one burns as is rolls down her pale cheeks.

Regaining her composure, she rises to her feet. Turning back to her shattered life, she whispers,
"Goodbye"

Her final words...so helpless, so faint.

Not to her surprise, no one hears her final farewell. A cool breeze blows and twists her long black hair, and in the next moment she is gone. Vanished into the darkness where she will stay.

No one will notice her absence, for no one truly noticed her being.

She is the the figure lurking in the shadows. She is a distant memory. She is forgotten.

<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/65673_1097948404.jpg>

Drawn By: [DarkJenni]
381362  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-10-15
Written: (5771 days ago)

Linkin Park, Hit The Floor

There were just too many
Times people have tried to look inside of me
Wondering what I think of you
And I protect you out of courtesy
Too many times that I've held on
When I needed to push away
Afraid to say what was on my mind
Afraid to say what I need to say
Too many things that you say about me when I’m not around
You think having the upper hand
Means you gotta keep putting me down
But I've had too many stand-offs with you
It's about as much as I can stand
So I’ll wait until the upper hand is mine

One minute you're on top
The next you're not, watch it drop
Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor
One minute you're on top
The next you're not, missed your shot
Making your heart stop
You think you've won
And then it's all gone

So many people like me that put so much trust in all your lies
So concerned of what you think
To just say what we feel inside
So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long
All I know is that all I want is to feel like I'm not stepped on
There are so many things you say that make me feel
You've cross the line
What goes up will surely fall, and I'm counting down the time
Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you
Its about as much as I can stand
So I'm waiting until the upper hand is mine

One minute you're on top
The next you're not, watch it drop
Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor
One minute you're on top
The next you're not, missed your shot
Making your heart stop
You think you've won

And then it's all gone
And then it’s all gone
And then it’s all gone
And then it’s all gone
Now it’s all gone

I know I'll never trust a single thing you say
You knew your lies would divide us but you lied anyway
And all the lies have got you floating up above us all
But what goes up is got to fall

One minute you're on top
The next you're not, watch it drop
Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor
One minute you're on top
The next you're not, missed your shot
Making your heart stop
You think you've won

And then it's all gone
And then it’s all gone
And then it’s all gone
And then it’s all gone
Now it’s all gone

402073  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-10-12
Written: (5751 days ago)

Something isn't right
I can feel it again, feel it again
This isn't the first time
That you left me waiting
Sad excuses and false hopes high
I saw this coming still I don't know why
I let you in

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
Something's always wrong
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable

So take your empty words your broken promises
And all the time you stole cause I am done with this
I can give it away give it away
I'm doing everything I should've
And now I'm making a change
I'm living the day
I'm giving back what you gave me
I don't need anything

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
Something's always wrong
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable

Everywhere I go
Everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all want to know why I'm so broken
Why am I so cold
Why I'm so hard inside
Why am I scared
What am I afraid of
I don't even know
This story's never had an end
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been hoping
I've been dreaming you would come back
But I know the ending of this story
You're never coming back
Never...never...never...never...

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
Something's always wrong
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable

Everywhere I go for the rest of my life
Everyone that I love
Everyone I care about
They're all gonna wanna know what's wrong with me
And I know what it is
I'm ending this right now...

377383  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-10-11
Written: (5775 days ago)

Hold on a second...the "POSER BARBIE" is going to speak...

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




The "POSER BARBIE" is done speaking.

373200  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-10-07
Written: (5780 days ago)

It was all a lie, all of it.


I want to sleep so badly...
But, my mind is to busy.
I want to cry forever and ever...
But, I can't I just can't.
I want to scream my lungs out...
But, I can't, I'll remain silent.
I want to hurt me...
But, I CANNOT AND WILL NOT.

367211  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-09-30
Written: (5787 days ago)

He doesn't remember anything
He's forgotten everything
And here I thought we had something

He's forgotten everything

He's forgotten everything

He's forgotten everything

He's forgotten

He's forgotten

He's forgotten

365866  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-09-29
Written: (5788 days ago)

Evanescence, Lies

Bind my limbs with fear
Choke me with tears
I won't die for you

You've been here before
And come back for more
But not this time

You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above

Somebody tell me what made us all believe you
I should have known all along it was all a lie

Now I know the truth
I'm through fearing you
And I am free

You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above

Somebody tell me what made us all believe you
I should have known all along it was a lie

Somebody tell me what made us all believe you
I should have known all along it was all a lie
Somebody tell me what made us all believe you
I should have known it was all a lie
I should have known it was all a lie

363930  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-09-27
Written: (5790 days ago)

What I am to you  

A distant memory
A convenience
This is what I am to you
A time filler
A past good time
This is what I am to you
A last resort
A unlikely possibility
This is what I am to you
Old news
Forbidden
This is what I am to you
Dismissed
Forgotten
This is what I am to you

9-04

361810  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-09-24
Written: (5792 days ago)

Evanescence, Father Away

I took their smiles and I made them mine
I sold my soul just to hide the light
And now I see what I really am
A thief, a whore, and a liar

I run to you
Call out your name
I see you there, farther away

I'm numb to you, numb and deaf and blind
You give me all but the reason why
I reach but I feel only air at night
Not you, not love, just nothing

I run to you
Call out your name
I see you there, farther away

Try to forget you
But without you I feel nothing
Don't leave me here, by myself
I can't breathe

I run to you
Call out your name
I see you there, farther away

I run to you
Call out your name
I see you there, farther away
Farther away
Farther away
Farther away
Farther away
Farther away

361829  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-09-23
Written: (5792 days ago)
Next in thread: 368309

Linkin Park, In The End

It starts with
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know, time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal, didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

One thing, I don’t know why
Doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how I tried so hard
Despite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so far
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know

I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

 The logged in version 

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