I keep having stupid dreams, and I keep agruing over nothing with my love.. I think it's normal to boys to act like he does, even though it really do breaks me apart sometimes, I always have had low selfasteam, and most girls get better when they finds love, I just hate myself even more and more, and I know i'm not nearly good enough for him.. I need to get myself how i want to be, even though that means a lot of sacrifes.. "i think the saying: Why am I loved only when I'm gone, will do good for the people around me.."
I had a very strange, but truthful dream a night after a fight with my love..
I remember I was in funeral, I cried and I cried, but I diden't know who had passed away, until I took a look up on the alter, it was a picture of me.. I was in my own funeral.. I coulden't remember how I had died.. Nobody talked to me, nobody could see me, but they were all crying over me.. Suddendly I'm out of the church, and a man approches me and talks to me.. Saying, you are doomed to walk the earth in all eternity, you are sentenced to a the worst faith ever imagine.. an eternity with ignoranse, and eternal lonlyness.. I cried so much.. I walked the streets of my home town, saw living people having fun, but not seeing me.. It was gruesome! When I woke up I had cried so much my pillow was wet.. I wish I knew that this dream ment.. I think i do but..
til [Grotesque Desire]
Vel, siden du reagerer så utrolig negativt på mine argumenter for at så mange barn her i Norge kutter selg selv, om mine andre påstander om deg, later det virkelig til at jeg treffer spikeren på hodet..
Og vist du virkelig leser hva jeg har å si på "pur" kjedesomhet, synes jeg virkelig rart du tar deg så god tid til å svare så lange brev, eller i det hele tatt svare..
Blokker meg, helt greit, jeg forstår du ikke har flere "smarte" svar på hva jeg har å si, men jeg håper du får denne siste.. Barnslig er det å ikke kunne tørre og stå for hva man "mener", men jeg forstår jo at du ikke vet selv hva du mener.. Men jeg beskylder ikke deg for det, du kan jo ikke noe for at du bare er ung og dum..