Mark with an X the things that are true, be TOTALLY honest
[? - I think I am 5'4] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[ ] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses/contac
[x - I need it anyways] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[x] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[? - Still unsure] I've lost a child.
[x] I'm in college/h.s.
[ ] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/college/h
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[x] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired.
[? - Probably] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I've had my pants rip/drop/pulle
[x - Does mentalness count?] I was born with a disease/impair
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to America.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x]I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[ ] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving/ bungee jumping
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[x - Does it count if I already knew them? lol] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[x] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[? - What's that?] I've played chicken.
[ ] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm somewhere inbetween.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[x - I was made to.] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[x] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've run a red light.
[x] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[x- More like a clawwing/hair pulling/wrestling fight.] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[x] I've shoplifted.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink.
[x] I've passed out from drinking.
[x] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[.] I've done hard drugs.
[x - They taste sooo nice!] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x - as well as bipolar (manic depression), aspergers, adhd, paranoid skizophrenia.. but I've been undiagnosed, so don't worry lol] I have been diagnosed with depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressan
[x - from time to time.. right now I'm.. eating] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've woken up crying.
Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[? - Never been to one] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[x - me?] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x - but it's broked.] I own iPod or MP3 player
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from Gap
[ ] I own something I got on EBay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
[? - Hope so.] I can sing well.
[Why would you want to?] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news.
[x] I don't kill bugs.
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[ ] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, black, yellow, pink, red or blue.
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[ ] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[x] I'm good at remembering names.
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[ ] My answers are totally honest
My then and now
4 YEARS AGO
How old were you?: 12.
What school year were you in? Year 8. (Second Year.)
Where did you go to school?: Pocklington School.
Where did you work?: I didn't.
Where did you live?: Northern Ireland. (Near Belfast).
Where did you hang out?: In town.. on the field..
How was your hair style?: Middle-length, boring auburn colour..
Did you wear braces?: Nope, never have.
Who was your best friend? Torie, Emily, Hollie, Michelle, Emma (We were all really close cos we lived toether!)
Who was your boyfriend/girl
Who was your celebrity crush?: I'm ashamed to say Tom Felton (who plays Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter).
How many piercings did you have?: Only my ears.
How many tattoos did you have?: None.. obviously.
Favorite band?: Erm.. I don't think I had one. Muse, maybe?
What was your worst fear?: Spiders.
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: Yeah.
LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW.
How old are you?: 16
What school year are you in?: 6th Form. (Year 12).
Where do you go to school? The Duchess's.
Where do you live?: Northumberland
Who is your best friend?: Don't have one in particular, I'll say Anna, Katie Carr, Dylan, Jess.. I'm not really close to anyone now.
Who is your regular-person crush? Erm.. well.. I have a few. ^_^
How many tattoos do you have?: Still none.
How many piercings do you have?: Ears done twice and my nose.
What is your favorite band?: Nightwish.
What is your worst fear?: Being disliked, being hurt, being raped, be alone, being with strangers, spiders, heights, small spaces, wide-open spaces, large crowds, viens, not being believed..
What is your hair style now?: It changes every week or so.. but now it's less than shoulder-lengt
Biggest regret: Leaving school.
Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: Obviously.
Have you gotten drunk or high yet? Few times.. well, I get drunk all the time.. I barely ever get 'high'.
Now we can see why I don't write poetry.. but I got bored and it wasted around 30 seconds so here you are ^_^:
Untitled - NM
Love is deep, love is pure, stronger love has power to cure. If that is true than tell me why my emotions running deep inside were going out of control again. Until I met you that was when I was letting go, being free, why couldn't you just let me be? I didn't want another guy.. ..another friend.. ..a true Godsend.. ..but here you are, here with me. What a busy life I lead. It's only been a couple of months, so why decide to take the plunge? If you insist on stressing me.. ..on pressing me.. ..depressing me.. ..promise me you will become my ever lasting valium.
To 'That Guy':
I know I haven't had a bad life compared to others, I was only abused and isolated, others deal with loss and physical harm... but I guess some people aren't as strong as others, they find things harder to cope with.. I guess I'm just one of those people.
I'm sorry if I hurt you. My ways of coping are unorthodox.. I probably cause more harm than good. I'm a whore, but I can't help it. I'm really sorry..
Tell the you love them before its too late. Sorry:
reason for filling this out?
1. What do you think of me?
2. What one word desribes me?
3. How well do you know me?
4. Do you like me?
sing to me?
write me letters?
come see me when we haven't talked to me in a while?
show up by suprise?
make me smile?
stay with me, even if you had to be home by a certain time?
walk into my house and lay there beside me while I slept?
kiss me while I slept?
take a shower with me?
let me spend the night at your house?
make me stop doing stuff that hurts me?
dress up for me?
Have we kissed?:
Do you want to?:
What would you like our relationship to be?:
Have we dated?:
Did you like it?:
Do you want to date?:
Are we close friends?:
Would you be here if I needed you?:
Are you attracted to me?:
Mentally, sexually, or both?:
Do you love me?:
Do you like my
Do think I'm
Do you think I'm
Fun to be around?:
Share chocolate with me?:
Spend a weekend with me?:
Hook up with me?:
Care if I ran away?:
Care if I died?:
Miss me if I left?:
Hang out with me?:
What would you do if..
I kissed you?:
You found out I was missing?:
You found out I was in the hospital?:
You found out I was dead?:
I asked you for help?:
I told you I loved you?:
I told you I hated you?:
Someone told you I wanted you to kiss me?:
Someone told you I had a crush on you?:
In the last week have you..
Wanted to kiss me?:
Wanted to see me?:
Wanted to chill with me?:
Wanted to tell me you loved me?:
Wanted to spend alone time with me? *wink*:
Wanted to get to know me better?:
Thought about me?:
Told you I loved you?:
Made you happy?:
Made you sad?:
Made you angry?:
Made you feel better if you were upset?
Happy you know me?:
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in their address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56% [-Moderate]
Stability |||||| 30% [-Low-]
Orderliness |||||||||| 36% [-Low-]
Accommodation |||||| 30% [-Low-]
Intellectual |||||||||| 36% [-Low-]
Artistic |||||||||||||| 56% [-Moderate]
Religious || 10% [-Very Low-]
Materialism |||||||||||| 50% [-Moderate]
Narcissism |||||||||||| 50% [-Moderate]
Work ethic || 10% [-Very Low-]
Self absorbed ||||||||||||||
Conflict seeking |||||| 30% [-Low-]
Need to dominate ||||||||||||||
Romantic |||||| 23% [-Low-]
Avoidant |||||||||||||| 56% [-Moderate]
Anti-authority |||||| 30% [-Low-]
Wealth |||||| 30% [-Low-]
Change averse ||||||||||||||
Cautiousness |||||||||||| 43% [-Moderate]
Peter pan complex ||||||||||||||
Physical security |||||||||| 36% [-Low-]
Physical fitness |||||||||||| 50% [-Moderate]
Female cliche ||||||||||||||
[Hair Color:] Dark.
[Eye Color:] Brown.
[Height: ] Not smaller than me.
[Six Pack:] No, just thin.
[Long or Short Hair:] Shoulder-lengt
[Glasses or contacts:] Either.
[Piercings: ] Whatever.
[Scars: ] Depends.
[Buff or Skinny:] Skinny.
[Funny or Serious:] Funny.
[Party or Stay at home:] Both?
[Should he know how to cook:] Yes.
[Should they have a best friend: ] Not bothered.
[Should they have a lot of girl friends:] No.
[Outgoing or Shy:] Outgoing.
[Sarcastic or Sincere:] Sarcastic.
[Should they watch chick flicks:] Fuck no.
[Would they smoke: ] Yes!
[Would they drink:] All the time.
[Would they swear:] Not too much.
[Would they play with your hair:] Yeah.
[Bad or Good:] Bad.
[Would they kiss you on the first date:] Yes.
[Where would you go to dinner:] Their house.
[Would they bring you flowers:] No.
[Would they lay under the stars with you:] Yeah.
[Would they write poetry about you:] No!
[Would they call you hunny or baby:] Yeah.
[Would they hang out with your friends:] No.
[Would you hang out with their friends:] No.
[Would they walk you to the door at the end of the date:] Yes.
[Would they hold your hand:] Yes.
[Would they play sports:] No.
[Would they sing:] Yes.
[Would they play an instrument:] Yes.
[Would they keep their room clean:] No.
[Would they paint, draw or sculpt:] Maybe.
[Would they write their own music:] Yes.
[Would they watch the sunrise or sunset with you:] No.
[What kind of vehicle would they drive:] Bike.
[How old would they be:] Not too much older.
[Does your dream person resemble your real lover:] Erm? No.
I can't take this no more. I'm sick of people only being nice to me because they feel sorry for me.. I want to run away but I haven't got anywhere to go. I'd do anything just to leave this all behind. I'd gladly die but I would never want to hurt Calum. He's got enough of his own problems.
I wish some people would just disappear for good, everyone else can leave me alone.. maybe not forever but for now.
Some people are so inconsiderate towards other people's feelings... I hate it when people winge about how some people can be so unhappy all the time... I know I try my hardest to put on a happy face, but people still complain so I guess I shouldn't bother.. but if they went through what some of us had to go through, instead of having their perfect little lifes, they'd probably feel exactly the same way... all they care about is themselves and they wan't us to smile so we don't bring them down... why bother..
Well there goes my happiness... again...
Maybe I wasn't made for relationships.