I dont feel like myself lately, like i'm altered or fucked up.
I see and hear and feel this life, but yet I seem to be numb to all this,
I dont care what anyone says, I'm all I have, and the only one I trust,
anyone who cares, I wish you'd give up on me,
it would make it so much easier
to follow through.
Am I demented, selfish, or what?
I dream fucked up things and wish I was fucked up,
Am I a masochist, or am I just dumb?
I want to hurt, and want some pain,
im numb and dumb and full of shame
for who I am, is what I fear,
friends and family, they all care about me,
I know this is true
but the only love I long to have
is one I cant seem to receive,
I want to love myself, but that may never be,
I dont know why I wrote this down,
perhaps to get it out in a less destuctive way
bleeding it out is getting so lame.

But still I long for this pain...

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

Love. From the other piont of view.

I'm in love.
Why does it hurt?
I shouldnt feel this way,
this isnt the same as its says in the books
what everyone says
wherever you look
but thats cuz their sane,
and free,
and staight.
and im stuck in a world full or hate.
Love and Hate
Like twisted fate.
Why does it hurt?
I am in love.
She's breaking my heart.

I am sick and tired of being single!!!