I'm at school, and they proxied blogspot, so I can't do anything with that currently. I guess I'll just write it here.
Yes, you're right.
I'm assuming the worst.
Because I love you, I'm not going to make a big deal of it, I'm going to calm down, understand that nothing is going on, and understand that you're not having a terribly needy time right now. I'm going to try to deal with this. I'm going to try to not worry and fawn about it. I'm not going to accuse you. I'm not going to say it should be about me.
I am going to ask, though.
Do you enjoy being alone more than you enjoy being with me? If so...do you want to be with me?
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
(X) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(X) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(X) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(X) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(X) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(X) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(X) I NEVER BEEN SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(X) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(_) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(X) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(X) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(X) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(X) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(X) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(X) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(X) I NEVER BEEN SKYDIVING
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPSTER DIVING
(_) I NEVER PUT MY PANTS ON MY HEAD RANDOMLY
(_) I NEVER WALKED IN ON FRIENDS HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER WALKED IN ON MY PARENTS HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX
(_) I NEVER LIED JUST TO COVER MY OWN ASS
(X) I NEVER CUT SOMEONE AND MADE THEM BLEED
(X) I NEVER TOLD SOMEONE I LOVED THEM JUST TO MAKE ME OR THEM FEEL BETTER
(X) I NEVER ATE A LIVE GOLDFISH
I went to work at around 11 this morning, found it to be nearly flooded with water, filled with morons who couldn't figure out what they wanted to eat, and fussy ice cream orderers.
It was very sad when I went out to scoop some ice cream for a woman. She asked for some Superman, which I responded with the polite and apologetic "Ma'am, I'm very sorry to say that we're out of that flavour. Maybe you'd like something else?" Her son started crying. He wanted Superman, dammit, and when we tried to appease him with the promise of sherbet that looked the same, he yelled that I was a liar and he hated me. I laughed and though "control your goddamn kid, lady."
She said she' like cookie dough in the absence of Sman. I told her we were also out of that. She was angered by that.
I told her we were also out of French Vanilla and Mint Chocolate Chip. She started yelling at me about how I obviously wasn't a very responsible employee, and how I should've told my boss to buy some. I politely informed her that my boss had been notified, but not bought replacement yet. She asked to see my boss. I called my boss out, she explained the situation, the lady told my boss she should fire me for being such a bad employee and not giving her a raincheck or free ice cream. I said that it would be stupid to do that. She yelled at me some more. Her daughter tore the bell off of the door in anger. I said the woman had to pay; the little girl screamed for 10 minutes till I just ignored her. Then she started slamming stuff around, and when I grabbed an expensive lamp from her hands, her mother told me I should be ashamed. I flipped out.
"WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! I DON'T MAKE THE GOD DAMN ICE CREAM, I DON'T BUY IT, I JUST SCOOP IT! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN PISS OFF! YOU OWE ME 44 DOLLARS TO REPLACE WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER JUST BROKE, AND AN INEXPLICABLE AMOUNT OF SANITY!!!"
Needless to say, I didn't get fired. But the woman called the police, saying I had assaulted her, and when they got there, they said "Hey, Kyle."
"Hey Officer LaBonte."
"You didn't assault this lady, did you?"
"No, but I tore her a new one because her daughter broke a bunch of stuff in here."
"Ahhh. I figured. She complained about you demanding money and trying to rob her. Eh, I'll be right back."
He came back in with the woman and told her to give me 100 dollars or he would fine her 500 for disturbing the peace, 300 for destruction of property, and 100 for a public outburst. I laughed as she coughed up the benjamin. Hell yes.