Holy shit, what a night.
Every year we have a few days of drinking and partying in a traditional way in the Netherlands, meaning crazy people dressing up like fools are partying through the night on the most disgusting music. Forgive my lack of good grammer if you find any flaws, since I'm not quite sober myself anymore.
Holy jesus I tell ya. The evening started off when me and my bf Daniel went out the dinner at the McDonalds. Damn romantic, I know, we both didn't feel like going anywhere fancy. At around 7pm we went to a bar called De Vulling, the main place for our gang to get together. There we waited for [Hellcatje89] and my brother [Makeda evil mage]. It was so quiet at first, we having fun ourselves with other foolish people, when suddenly around 10ish it was as crowdy as hell.
Air.. need air... breathe... painful stitch in chest, OmGwTf? So.. me and Daniel went outside for a bit, just to walk around.
We were walking down this lane full of people, when suddenly two guys right in front of us started to fight. One hit the other to the floor and threw a random bike at his head, crazy little bastard. On of the victim's friends stood forth and chased the crook down the street, where he bumped in on two cops sitting on crazy high horses (like 2,5 meters in height omfg).
Well... after all that we went back to the bar, but no one of our gang was left lmao. So we called up [Hellcatje89]'s "boyfriend", telling that they went to the park. So.. we went to join then, just to return to the bar afterwards. There we hang out for like an hour before leaving, taking our shit wasted heads to bed. Very fascinating, I know...
Who needs Valentines Day? If you do it right, you got no need of such a special holiday to celebrate your love. But yea.. for some people it always remains special (points at [Gilraen Miriel] and [Deleted001] :P)
Me and Daniel are gonna celebrate a bit on saturday, since I'm still sick and it's kinda like *bleh*
Right now I'm like *bleh* sick of being sick and can't wait to be back on healthy feet again!
it has been a while since I called you that. Just now I've spend a while reading through all I have written in this dairy over the years. Some really happy memories, some confusing though. But it's nice to be remembered by all of them. I especially laughed reading the moments of chocolate eggs with [Hellcatje89], and about our Elfish days with [Gilraen Miriel].
After reading again about my dream period, I started thinking more about this sentence: "Perhaps these dreams are the key to what I am looking for... "
I think I'm very close to figuring out what it is... I'm still not sure if I have found it yet, but I do know it's not bothering me as much as it did back then.
Sharing this with [Gilraen Miriel], just a moment ago she reminded me of the time we went to see the movie Spirit together, the first time ever we went to see a movie. I think that was when we had just become friends. It's a nice memory, so it also deserves a place here.
From now on I tend to write in this dairy again, just like I used to. Not that I have that much to share nowadays... except that I'm darn busy with exams, and that the guy I told about earlier is now my boyfriend <3
About my 16th birthday, "He's my best friend...", I can only say.. "meh". Oh well.. life goes on, with or without him.
Ok and last, I wanna clap my hands together for [Gilraen Miriel] and [Deleted001]. Because there's luuvvv in the aaiirr xD
Edit: damn my English has improved... 0_o
A world of light and darkness, with a wall in between
Behind you have met, before you have not yet seen
The wall holds a door, of which the key someday you must find
To leave all that is behind, behind
The sky is high, but not out of your reach
The journey upward has many lessons to teach
Holding up your hand alone will do no good
A hand alone is not enough for all the loot
Raise your head and show your smile
A powerful mind makes it all worthwile
Even though the darkness behind, your dreams are not forlorn
All is yet to come, all for which you have been born
A hand reaches out from the sky far above
Use your eyes to see, the eyes of faith and love
When you succeed, the hand will give you the key
Unlock the door, walk through and you will be free
Meet the things that are right ahead of you
Do not look back, close the door you came through
But remember the window that hangs in the wall
To look back on your experiences that made you grow tall
Smile at the light that reaches you from ahead
Hold that smile, clench your fist and raise your head
The world will never forget who and what you are
Because then you have reached the goals that seemed so far
At one day the candle in your heart will burn again
The happiness you knew will return again
Your name will be written on the wall as you go through
And you can swear that those who loved you were beside you
Stolen from Jitterbug Perfume, who stole it from Ocean Soul who stole it from LadyMoon, who stole it from Sun, who stole it from Lys, who stole it from Ki
A) 4 Names people call you:
B) 4 places you have lived:
1. My mum's belly
2. Breda - Merodelaan
3. Breda - Aardrijk
C) 4 jobs you have had in your life:
1. Graphic Designer
D) 4 movies you could watch over and over:
1. Princess Mononoke
2. Musical Cats
3. X-men 1
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 (the old movie)
E) 4 TV shows you love to watch:
1. Full House
F) 4 Places you have been on vacation:
1. Venlo, Limbrug (NL)
2. Brussels (Belgium, was AFWUL)
G) 4 websites you visit daily (or semi-weekly):
H) 4 of your favourite foods:
3. My dad's pizza
I) 4 things you are allergic to:
J) 4 of your siblings names (if you have any):
1. Menno (bro)
2. Dagmar (sis)
3. Saskia (sis)
K) 4 places you would love to travel to:
1. New Zealand
2. Spain (to visit some friends :))
L) 4 of your pets:
1. Zelda (old hamster, died 3 years go, 4 years old)
M) 4 things you want for Christmas this year:
1. Tales of the Broken Moon: Beam's Song volume 1 (book, [travs the bean]
2. Portfolio ringband
3. A new harddisk -_-;
4. New oil pastels
Okay listen up peepz!
My brandnew website is ready to be set online! It will happen soon, in a couple of days. The temporary link will be http://paulien
SO, in case people are wondering, I'm doing FANTASTIC! First of all I met this incredibly cute guy (which never happens to me O.o lol). He's very wise, and just like me, only then masculane lol. I really like him a lot, but I just can't tell if he feels the same for me. He's such a gentilmen.
Second, I got myself a 'manager' or an 'agent'! He's the marketing director of my brother's gameshop and he's been settling all kinds of assignments for me to do over the week. In the end I got 10 assignments for graphic designs, and I just finished the last one. In total I'll be payed 50 euro's for it. And he's gonna fix me more jobs to do! I tell you, this is going so great! The results will all appear in the archive of my new website.
A few more things: in two weeks there's Castlefest, a great celtic/pagan festival here. I worked hard since the beginning of summer, but I might not be payed for like 4 weeks, and by then the festival is over. So, maybe no money for Castlefest, which sucks big time. Well, at least I do have the 50 euro's. That's more than I ever had with a festival lol.
I've been working a lot on Saya and the Emerald Dragons lately (not the wiki, but the actual game). And therefor there's also an update at elfje midi's. The new ones are Sparks of Fate and Semi-Boss Battle. Saya's Theme will be on soon I hope.
I'm sorry for the major story, but for final, I would just like to say a few words to people:
to [Hellcatje89]: About you and Roy, I just can't tell if whether this is hard for you or not. I could see through you at the moment, but I can't get through your feelings. If there's still anything you wish to tell me you can, and I'm sure you know it. Maybe it's just me making a big deal out of it, but you're my friend and I want you to be happy. And if there's truly a break inside of you, I know it's not just about Roy. I want you to know I am here for you, because you are here for me too.
to [Gilraen Miriel]: It was so much fun working with you, and I'm gonna miss it. But it's fun too with [Hellcatje89]. But still, I won't forgot that moment from this evening, it's was kinda exiting lol! Did your mom figure out who it was yet?
to [May-lea]: I still admire that drawing you made for me! It was fun lol, I just thought about it today. Hope you can visit again sometime!
Ok this is it. A lot of feelings are going through me right now, both happy and sad. I've never been good in organising them. But it's no big deal, everthing will turn out just great!
Tell me... is this evil or what!?
(my brother lol)
Ladies and Gentlemen,
update at Elfje Midi's! Go check, it's worth it, I promise!!
Gyus, please go to the landscape contest!!
in the passing two weeks I've yet had more dreams, only I can't really remember them. Though, last night, I had one which was so familiar!
Me, my dad, some friends, my sisters and my niece were all in this little, round, orange rubber boat. We were drifting along white rocks. Suddenly, we bumbed in to another boat and my niece got all wet. I brought her to shore and started swearing to the people in the other boat, in chinese! O.o
Then there's a black hole...
Next moment, I told my dad and friends I had to get something out of the sea. I climbed up a cave, which was half concealed by a waterfall. There were two drains, each would send another flow of water down the cave. In the middle stood a statue (I think of a dragon). So, I pulled the drains, water flooded out and I dived after them, out into the sea. I climbed up a marble rock, and was holding a sword O.o
Well, that's all I can remember, but I am sure there was more. I just can't help thinking... I pulled the Dragonsword from the sea, from my novel O.o I think I'm gonna use this dream in the story...
right, something happened to which hasn't happened for a long time: the strange-dream period.
Yesterday I dreamt of a beautiful forest in autumn. The trees had some kind of red glow. It was almost like a movie. I was walking over a path when I saw a close-up of a burning sigaret. Then, I saw a cat lying down with her three kittens. I told the cat she was a good mother.
Then, I head my brother laughing. So I started calling him and we walked for a while like we always do, but I never saw him.
Suddenly, I was climbing a huge pine-tree. In my view, there was a vaste land. I saw a cop running with two more people, and far away in the distance, was a HUGE fire. So, I started climbing down and running, calling for my brother, but he didn't answer. I tried to take the cats with me, when suddenly the sigaret broke into a fire.
That's when I woke up.
But I don't get it... The place seemed so familiar, like I've been there for real, or in a dream. But I am sure I haven't dreamt of it before.... I don't know...
Ok and last night - I hardly remember anything from it though. Let's see...
I was walking down the path past my old lower school. But it was different. Many strange children were playing there. When I reached a certain point, a face and voice appeared out of nowhere and images flashed trough my mind, of a city and water.
One time, I went back there, and I saw a girl sitting. Again the images flashed through my mind and I asked the girl if it was atlantis. She nodded and started crying. Then the voice became louder and angry and started following me. That's where Vikram (my martial arts master and good friend) came in. He grabbed my hand a pulled me with him. We ran up a hill, but I slipped and fell. Eventually, we reached the top. But from there I don't remember... though I am sure it wasn't the end of it...
You know, I am sure more of these will come in time. And I plan to write them all down and find the meaning of them. They might just be illusions from my too-imaginatio
I must be off now! Gonna fire some really good snowballs at [Gilraen Miriel] =P Wish me luck!
Well, went to school, and back again. In my free hours, I took [May-lea] to a mallcentre called "Heksenwiel" (Witcheswheel). While I was at school, she went shopping a bit, especially chocolate! Then, we had a whole adventure returning to my house on my bike O.o. We went to the city again afterwards. We took a walk through the park, I showed her the fountain and statues, and we even saw roosters fly! I showed her some more shops and statues, and then, unfortunately, we had to go back again.
I had so much fun, [May-lea]! Good luck and have fun on the rest of your trip!
For a full report go to may-lea's roadtrip to the netherlands.
I've met the first elftowner for real: [May-lea]!! She's on a roadtrip through the Netherlands, and spend the night at my place^^ It was really fun. We met on the station, standing 4 meters away from each other, still without recognising! Eventually we did, of course, and then we went into town. We ate at a sandwich place, then made some music in my room before sleeping. I had to go to school the next day -_-
Hmm... I feeling rather.. I don't know. I'm not depressed, I never am. Still, I'm feeling so down. Well, it is going down hill lately, though some things are better. I guess it has to be ying and yang all the time, huh?
martial arts reopened! Need volunteers!
School's started again. I few days ago I felt like it, but not anymore. My schedule sucks big time...
UUUUUUUUUUH I've got a new pc!! HELL YEAH!
You're only strong when you have the strength to hold to your promises.
You walk against the wall when she climbs over it.
Which path to the future do you take? It must be one which has a dead end. Or one which takes a sharp turn back to the beginning, or maybe even further.
You have broken two promises one one night.
You SCREWED my 16th birthday!
~I don't know what to do anymore. There are two lovers. The boy has a drinking/smoki
Once, on a party, the boy got drunk and he and the girl had a terrible fight. He kept blaming her for his mother's illness and more more things. After, they promised that such a fight with hitting and screaming would never happen again. Not just a promise to each other, but also to me and many more people.
On the night of my birthday, he broke both promises.
She doesn't know what to do anymore, he's outta control. No future, no honor, no love, no strength, no realization, nothing.
What can I do...
He's my best friend...
What can I do...
Hmm... Life.. strange isn't it? Sometimes good... sometimes bad... But who decides what's good and bad anyway? And who decides what's reality? People say: "Stop daydreaming! Live in reality!"
But what if this life isn't reality at all? What if the spirits live in reality and we just live in the parrallel world? What if we aren't real... Who knows whether we truly exsist? Maybe we don't exsist...
I live with my dad now!! So wonderful, everything's gonna be alright from now on! And guess what...
For the first time in two years, I feel happy again..!