[SimpleEuph]'s diary

839784  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-17
Written: (4110 days ago)

*does the happy dance* Ive got a possible job, I have an interview monday....well its a side job, only work 3 days (sun/mon/tues). So hopefully I can get a call back from the other place, and work at that job as well (so Ill be working 2 jobs *gets tired thinking about it*).....but if it means that I can actually work, have money coming in.....and actually have a life.

But something tells me, Justin maybe had something to do with this call I got today.

839500  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-08-16
Written: (4111 days ago)
Next in thread:

Well.....Justin and I are moving the begining of next month, wee finally have our place, but as Justin says....its 'HIS' place, because he'll be paying the rent. Im hoping like hell to get this job, just waiting for the guy to call me back. Fall/Winter time is coming, so jobs should be opening up, cause kids are going back to school. If Justin can be patient long enough, I will get the job, and then life came get way easier.

I feel bad that most of the pressure of money is on his shoulders, it kills me inside...so Im making up for it. Just wish me luck people....I need all the luck I can get.

812167  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-06-22
Written: (4166 days ago)
Next in thread:

Holy Shit


Justin bout gave me a fucking heart attack today. He brought home this huge as engagement ring...a considerably bigger upgrade from the one I already had. The way he proposed to me was priceless.
807086  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-06-12
Written: (4176 days ago)

JeSuS f. ChRiSt




I cant seem to fucking comphrend what is going on in my life....I never assumed that trying to make something of my future was gonna be a fucking piece chocolate cake. Im almost to that point to say

FUCK IT ALL

and return to my little hole.




Why does it seem,
when I finally reach happiness
There's something that is
ready to crash me down to the ground

Why does it seem,
when everything appears to be working
in my favor
There's something ready to
break my dreams in half

Why does it seem,
when I let my heart trust
in everything around me
There's something there
to explode the trust in my face?????????

804999  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-06-08
Written: (4180 days ago)
Next in thread: 805359

This is what I fucking needed......Everyone is gone today....Ive got the full run of the house....*sits back sipping a girl scout cookie (hot cocoa and peppermint schnaups)*......Ive got the tunes blaring......Im so much more at ease.....Fuck I might even get myself intoxicated completely.

I do look foreward to Justin coming home from work.....I do love him, and miss him when he is gone.....I know....I so fucking pathetic....



804998  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-06-08
Written: (4180 days ago)

This is what I fucking needed......Everyone is gone today....Ive got the full run of the house....*sits back sipping a girl scout cookie (hot cocoa and peppermint schnaups)*......Ive got the tunes blaring......Im so much more at ease.....Fuck I might even get myself intoxicated completely.

I do look foreward to Justin coming home from work.....I do love him, and miss him when he is gone.....I know....I so fucking pathetic....


804221  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-06-07
Written: (4181 days ago)

Over My Head by Fleetwood Mac



You can take me to paradise,
And then again you can be cold as ice
I'm over my head,
But it sure feels nice.

You can take me anytime you like,
I'll be around if you think you might love me baby,
And hold me tight.

Your mood is like a circus wheel,
You're changing all the time,
Sometimes I can't help but feel,
That I'm wasting all of my time.

Think I'm looking on the dark side,
But everyday you hurt my pride,
I'm over my head,
But it sure feels nice,
I'm over my head,
But it sure feels nice.

802142  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-06-02
Written: (4186 days ago)

Idea for a story


Honoshiro guided his tired frame downwards along side a cherry blossom tree, until he finally found comfort upon the ground. He rested his daisho closely beside him. The sun pelted its blaring heat upon the earth. Honoshiro could feel the warmth eminate from the surface.

774986  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-04-09
Written: (4240 days ago)
Next in thread: 800824

There, living among
two beautiful daughters.


         
Of a man who possesses
two beautiful daughters,

 
         
you cannot know
nor yet try to guess

 
         
the sweet soothingness
of their caress.

 
         
The outstanding genius
of this pair

 
         
is understood by few,
they are so rare.

 
Compared with these
two, every man is a fool.

 
         
The world is most honored
that they should deign to rule,

 
         
and I worship the power
of these lovely two

 
         
with that adoring love
known to so few.

'Tis indeed
a miracle one must feel

 
         
that two such
heavenly creatures are real.

 
         
Both sets of eyes,
though different far,

 
         
hold many mysteries strange,

 
         
and passively,
they watch the race of men

 
         
decay and change.

 
         
Hatred burning bright
in the brown eyes

 
         
with enemies for fuel.

 
         
Icy scorn
glitters in the gray eyes,

 
         
contemptuous and cruel.

 
         
And why are men such fools

 
         
they will not realize
the wisdom

 
         
that is hidden
behind those strange eyes?

 
         
And these wonderful people
are you and I.

769469  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-03-27
Written: (4253 days ago)

Wow.....it really hasnt hit me yet that Im 21. I went to the bar with Shane earlier today, while Justin was at the Chiropractor.....and we had a drink.....then we drove around and checked a couple of stores.....than we went to lunch and had a couple drinks there. Now Im just waiting til Justin is ready....were gonna go pick up a 12 pack (than Im officially 21) and go up to Shane's and have some fun......hehehehe.

767674  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-24
Written: (4256 days ago)

Less than 4 more days til I finally turn 21....biatches! Ive waited such a long friggin time for this....and the best part is....I get to spend it with the one I love.

So the count-down continues....will make sure lots of pictures will be taken.

766945  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-23
Written: (4257 days ago)
Next in thread: 767334

My fucking word.....what is up with you men......stop commenting me on my photo......its getting fucking annoying. I hate having to filter through my mail, thanks for the comments, Im glad you think Im hot (I think you all are insane). And for all you guys that want to cyber, Im not interested. Cybering is a big turn off.....and I dont understand how you cant get off on it.

753677  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-24
Written: (4284 days ago)

In about 2-3 more days, I will be moving. Its going to take me a little while to settle in, but I should be alright, and get back with you all as soon as possible. I probably wont be myself, because Ill be going through some pretty big life changing choices. I love you all, and Ill be back as soon as I can

742829  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-02-02
Written: (4306 days ago)

*yawns* been working hard on theses sketches, and I keep getting more and more disappointed with them. Ive also been trying to revive a couple of my wikis as well as setting up a myspace page. Hoping to catch up with Justin. Oh well......*falls asleep*

739417  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-01-27
Written: (4312 days ago)

Fuck.....
Me!!!!!

NOT INTENTIONALLY...THAT MEANS YOU JUSTIN


Just a rather, long, boring ass fucking day. Yet another stray has adopted me and has taking up dwelling in my garage. I have this uncanny feeling Im going to be this little old widow, who lives with 20 some odd plus cats. Dont get me wrong, I love dogs.....I love my dogs to death, but there is just something that intrugues me about cats. Their independant personalities I figure.

A lot of commotion happening in the "home" as some of you already know about. Ive let off too much steam within the last couple of days, that Im ready for a week....no make a month long R&R.....hiatus from everything that involves me being responsible for....except for myself. [Izyin] is trying his damndest to get me to stay a week with him. He's even demanded it......I kind of find this new agressiveness side of him a little sexy, but it wont get him very far. Damn it, I know who wears the pants in this relationship *smirks* even though he wont admit it.....hehehehe Im so gonna get my ass kicked for that.

Still heavily emmersed into this comic book idea for [Izyin]s. Got a few pages done....no really basis for a storyline right now....just trying out different panel layouts. We could actually have something pretty interesting here. I know he is quite talented at writing....among other talents hes very skillful at (knows he damn proud of them too). He's awesome to RP with....so it just gave me an idea to strike up a comic book for him.......cause I have nothing better to do, and just looking for something new to keep my artistic intrigue alive. So if he'll just let me know what he thinks about it.....I will have to show him the layouts first.....you might be seeing a comic book/strip in this house one day.

Well...Adios! Im finally growing tired....and I cannot think of anything else more stupid to write about...so *looks at the clock (1:12am)* I think its time for me to go to bed now.

LOVE Y'ALL
738024  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-01-24
Written: (4315 days ago)

Had a TREMENDOUSLY wonderful day yesterday with Justin. Even thoug it was snowing...and the roads were shitty for traveling...I enjoyed every fucking minute with him.....literally speaking. Went to the movies to see Underworld Evoultion....was an okay movie....could have been better....Not like we watched that much of the movieMissing: </b>

736510  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-01-22
Written: (4317 days ago)

Fuck Conformity

Why be conservative....Fuck that! A wonderful man taught me to be myself, and be happy with myself. Why should I have to worry what others might think of me. If their so uncomfortable with how I project myself, why are they wasting their time worrying about peasely little shit that they wont gain anything from. I perceive myself as a quiet person, yet still have an outgoing personality when warmed up by the right people. Im not gonna waste my life worry about how people should portray themselves around me. Im comfortable within my own means, and enjoy the friends and loved ones I surround myself with. Im not gonna go out of my way to make everyone happy, because in the end, Im never happy. I waste all my amunition parading around being everyones ideal loyal page, when I feel like total shit, there never anyone around to cheer me up (exception of a few people). I should make myself important, cause I have to live with myself. I rather live with a happy self, rather than a bitchy self all the time, just go ask Justin. 

I hate that I push all my problems onto him. I should just learn to keep my mouth shut, and keep my shit to myself. He has nothing to with it, and that shouldnt become a burnden for him to carry. I just realized that Ive been treating him like my punching bag, because I have no where else to focus my frustrations. I just want to know that he will be there for me when I fall down, because I will need that hand to help me back on my feet.

I need my confidence rebuilt. Ive just accoustomed myself to be hard on myself. I always held a higher image for myself to gain, but never was able to acheive it. I wished I could change everything about myself so people could appreciate me more. Again...I couldnt appreciate myself.

So now with the help from some of my friends.....Ive now got a fuck you attitude......becoming more carefree....and happy with myself....Im not gonna let my problem be in my way....and Im not gonna push my problems onto other people.

So Hello world.....Kiss my ass!!!
736146  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-01-21
Written: (4318 days ago)

I had another dream about the white wolf......its been awhile since I last had one......though she appeared just breifly. I still havent found out what she means to me, and why I see her in my dream. Normally when she comes in my dream....something big is about to happen, either good or bad. 
I believe Justin was coming over to visit....and we were outside with the horses. And then she appears in the pasture. I only see her very quickly then she is gone.

Dream Analysis
Wolf
To see a wolf in your dream, symbolizes beauty, solitude, mystery, self-confidence and pride. You are a loner by choice. Negatively, it represents hostility and aggression. It may also reflect an uncontrollable force or situation in your life. In particular, if the wolf is white, then it signifies valor and victory. You have the ability to see the light even in your darkest hours.

To dream that you kill a wolf, indicates betrayal and secrets revealed.


That still doesnt really give a good explanation about why she's in my dreams.....but at least I know what she symbolizes......maybe something will happen between Justin and I.....maybe something preset as of now. Im prepared for anything......I hope

736014  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-01-21
Written: (4318 days ago)

A soothing word
A calming pace
Nothing is heard
Nothing to waste
To wish for more
Than what you got
To beat the score
Compared to what?
To be in love
To be caressed
To feel that shove
To be pressed



732212  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-01-14
Written: (4325 days ago)

Back to the drawing board....I had a feeling lovely [Izyin], wouldnt be satisfied with the sketch....thats okay...neither was I. He wants spikes....more armor....and darker clothing. Well hunny....want in one hand and shit in the other...which fills up faster.

Looking foreward to monday....my fucking get away day. The sucky thing is....I think Ive caught something from my neice....Im all icky feeling

Gonna bring camera so I can get all those priceless Justin moment for blackmail

731726  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-01-13
Written: (4326 days ago)
Next in thread: 731873

Presently working on [Izyin]s Rp character......trying to make it look as studly as possible, but not to the point of looking gay. Well from my point of few....I think Ive acheived total gayness. Sorry Justin.....back to the drawing board.....overall I like the skull idea on the armor *keeps that in mind*

Looking forward to molestering Justin on Monday *smirks malichously*. I think he'll be looking foreward to it as well. Damn! I hate the distance that keeps us apart.

List of things to do on Monday
-Wake up
-Eat breakfast
-Shower
-Brush teeth
-Get dressed
-Pounce Justin
-Hug Justin to one ounce of his life
-Slobber Justin with kisses
-Meet up with Laurie and Aaron
-Hang out in town
-Go to lunch
-Pinch Justin ass
-Run from Justin (after pinching his ass)
-Go to the movies

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Should be a hell of a time....cant wait

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