[ACCOUNT DELETED.]'s diary

601028  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-06-17
Written: (5576 days ago)

Changes come and go. People change, time changes, new beginnings cover old endings. Sometimes we cannot tell where one begins and the other ends. It's like the Gods do really play chess in a game of strategy. Lives run by the string in the pocket of Herne. I don't want to change. I'm happy being who i am, and who i am is myself. I'm not perfect, no one is. I make mistakes, i get things right. I laugh and cry, i sing and scream. Another no one in a world of oppertunity. Did anyone ever stop to think about the possibilities that a no one has? Giving a no one a name is hard, especially when that no one has no idea about how they want to be known.
Sometimes, when things change, i want to sing. And other times? Other times i want to run. But at the moment, changes are both. Revelations that cannot possibly lead to something good. I know, i've been there. I think it's stupid. And other things that make me laugh and become hyper, those are the threads that i hang on to, this shred of peace in my turbulent world.

598240  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-06-14
Written: (5579 days ago)

The young girl crouched over the slug, biting her lip nervously. I shouldn't be doing this... She thought, looking around for her parents. Nowhere in sight. Taking a deep breath, she quickly dropped the pinch of salt onto the slow moving creature, biting her lip so hard she was sure it was about to split.
Her eyes widened in horror as the creature began to writhe, fizzing with a white foam. "No..." She whispered, reaching down to grab the tortured grub. "I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry!" She whimpered as she ran cold water over it from the garden tap. The slug merely began to slide across her palm, leaving a sticky trail. Hearing her mother calling her, the girl dashed over to a plant, placing the slug carefully on the outstretched leaves. "Sorry, Mr. Slug." She whispered, before dashing inside, wiping her wet and slimy hands on her shorts.
Regret made her insides crawl. I am a horrible person... she thought later that night, as she sat wtih a book on her lap. Shaking her head in remorse, she flushed as she remembered the reaction of one of her friends. He'd poked fun, and made her feel even worse. Frowning slightly, she stood, sliding the book back into it's place on the shelf. She didn't really feel like reading about happy endings anymore. 

597360  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-06-13
Written: (5580 days ago)

The serenity of this place unnerved me slightly. The leaves, gold and red fell in soft, fluttering waves from the trees to scatter, desolate in their deaths on the path before me as i walked. Breathing deeply, trying to dispell the feeling, i took in my surroundings. A forest is home to many creatures and peoples, and i could think of no other place as beautiful to live as this.
The trees were ancient, wise, their knarled trunks and twisted branched speaking of experience and solace. Thier leaves that fell in the dying sunlight set the air aflame in a riot of colour, softly lighting my way.
The sound of soft singing broke through my dazed revierie, echoing down the path to wrap around me in a sad, longing melody. Snatches drifting through the air...

"With a sigh, you turn away...
With the deepening dark,
No words to say
you will see that the world is changed....
Forever...

The leaves are turning from green to gold...
And the sun is now fading
I wish i could hold you closer...."


Tears sprang, unbidden and emotion filled into my eyes as i stood, alone and unmissed amidst the swirling leaves and dappled sunlight. A lone stranger in a world not her own.

585701  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-05-29
Written: (5595 days ago)

Guardian Devil

Sunlight seeps into my eyes,
I watch you through
Triumphant eyes
You're winning this battle of wills

I cannot stay for very long,
I have to sort this
Right from wrong
But you know i'll be your

Guardian Devil,
An Angel of Catastrophy
Flame of Justice
Path of Peace,
Watching over you,
I'm watching over you.



Standing on the heated sand
I reach for you
You take my hand,
A friend of guiding light,

To see this day
in hazy light,
another day, another fight
You know i'm here, here as your

Guardian Devil,
An Angel of Catastrophy
Flame of Justice
Path of Peace,
Watching over you,
I'm watching over you.


(repeat first two verses and chorus, then end.)

571803  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-05-10
Written: (5614 days ago)
Next in thread: 571812

A Dedication -To my good friend acisseJ xxx 

Remember me, when you whisk away,
You know the standing feeling.
It's not like this feeling will fade
Not as easily as the tears will dry.

You are the one who'll break away
The lost child in the hopes of our dreams,
We love you,
Don't cry, we're here to dry your eyes.

Remember us, see us in our world.
Remember you, watch us in your dreams,
Do not despair, for we are near.
Do not fret, for we are in your dreams,
And i?
I guard with all the power i possess.

556760  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-04-20
Written: (5634 days ago)

This feeling of extreme helplessness
The horrid, bile filled movement of my lips.
The knowledge that i'm going to hurt you
Make you hurt
Make you hate me

I'm so, so sorry
I didn't want it to be like this
Din't want you to hate me, that is.
Please try to understand.


I'm sorry, Honey.

552328  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (5639 days ago)

Second thoughts on marriage: Did you know if you rearrange the letters in "mother-in-law" you can come out with "Woman Hitler"?

 The logged in version 

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