[lacklustre]'s diary

1119770  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-07-19
Written: (4206 days ago)

http://dirkrichards.deviantart.com/art/Badass-of-another-kind-171866683 new art

today is the day. My failaversary. The ending of an era to herald in another. Not saying that things are shit but I am also not saying they're perfect. I am saying things changed. Choices were made, bad ones, selfish ones made outside of logic or rational reason. You don't get to be a god, you don't get to be right this time. You get to sit this one out in the personal hell you've trapped yourself in because it is not my fault you went there. You only went because the choice was yours and you thought it was genuinely a better one. Or so manipulation would lead you to believe. There is no justification that makes what you did right. You sinned that day and there is no confessional both or church service that is going to remove that taint you wrought upon yourself that day. The people you let act without direction or control had their try and their little bit of fun but at the end of this I know I was right. I know that despite all the harmful intentions you had planned or that affiliated parties had planned that I persevered. Note that trash will always be trash and there is no amount of lysol, perfume or pinesol that will clean up the shit of deceit and hatred they harbor for those who've weathered hell and it's infernos to come out living. Via Con Dios Muchacha! May you one day earn the redemption through hard work and tears though at present you don't deserve it.

1119003  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-07-05
Written: (4220 days ago)
1118763  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-06-30
Written: (4225 days ago)

The most bloodiest battles I've fought, I've fought alone.

1118313  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-06-21
Written: (4234 days ago)
1117784  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-06-10
Written: (4245 days ago)

Godamnit. This whole week has been fucking depressing. I wish people would quit with the dying and shit. It's honestly very aggravating. I hate not being able to do something about it. I wish I wasn' out in the black all by myself. I feel fucking alone on this one. And where is everybody?

1116383  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-05-15
Written: (4271 days ago)

Still in success you can fail. If perception is not noticed of the lessons learned.

1116382  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-05-15
Written: (4271 days ago)

The passed year has been a clusterfuck. At least I am alive and am lucky enough to know good people. So this battle ain't always mine to fight alone. Life is short and the stories people tell are tall. Generally I am forgiving and I would be forgiving when people would admit fault and guilt of their selfish actions. I absolutely can't stand betrayal. And especially can't stand liars especially one's who do not understand me and still insist on speaking about me on my "behalf."

1113386  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-03-29
Written: (4317 days ago)
Next in thread:

I want a fucking breaking. Goddamn idiots. If only St.Darwin would here my prayers. Argh! Stupid people and their inability to fuck off.

1112605  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-03-17
Written: (4330 days ago)

I want to lay waste to the injustices in this modern era. I am tired.

1111419  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-03-01
Written: (4346 days ago)

my chest hurts aa bit right now.

1110812  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-02-22
Written: (4353 days ago)

I am the master of fighting up hill battles. I am the master of making my enemies pay for every inch they try to take away from me. Win or lose, I am more than a foot note in the bloody sands of history.

1110482  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-02-18
Written: (4357 days ago)
Next in thread: 1110496

my god I can smell blood. But I am not bleeding. Or covered or near blood. What the hell.

1110201  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2010-02-14
Written: (4360 days ago)
Next in thread: 1110214

RAWR! Fucking fuckin hell I hate Valentines day. Seriously cupid if I had an AA gun I'd shoot your ass down! >.<

1109862  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-02-10
Written: (4364 days ago)

Man alive. People in management positions are very lazy. In fact they get nothing done usually unless they never forget they're just as much of a piss ant as any of the rest of us who have to work for our money.

1109657  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-02-09
Written: (4366 days ago)

woke up feeling nauseous. Still feeling horrible. My insides hurt alot. Will drink water till I ascertain what is ailing me. I wish I had help right now.

1109651  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-02-09
Written: (4366 days ago)

Of the things that I can do well, one of them is being good at fighting losing battles hell I almost make the victory of my enemies Pyrrhic. And that's no easy task.

Second, I seem to be good at being isolated despite wanting to be out there. Maybe I'm too far out. Hell I don't even know anymore.

1109515  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-02-08
Written: (4367 days ago)

Make the pain stop.

1109349  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-02-05
Written: (4369 days ago)

Question: why is it that everything can be rationalized as both good and bad once you blur the line enough?

Answer: If we blur then line then there shall be no standards. There shall be no means with which to conduct ourselves. You've blurred then lines and you've had to pay dearly before in the past. One should not go out of one's way to repeat the past in future iterations of the present.

1109156  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-02-03
Written: (4372 days ago)

Got tagged. I hate chain mail.

This survey gets REAL personal, can you handle it? Yes, if by "REAL personal" you mean inane and stupid then yes.

Your last ex rapes your best friend. What do you do? Not bloody likely but if that were the case I'd be at a loss to draw a logical explanation. I'd kick both of their asses into next century.

Name one person you wish you could fix things with?

What’s something you’re looking forward to?
The day I get to be in command and be respected for all my hard work and input. Either that or the day I find something or someone that makes me utterly happy.

Have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem?
Drinking but I broke myself of the habit.

Have you seen someone recently you used to talk to, but don’t anymore?
Yes. It's very annoying. Pretentious assholes.

Do you think it’s a bunch of shit when people say “I have no regrets?"
Yes. I've been told to live life with no regrets and honestly I must say that everyone has them regardless of whether or not they openly admit it.

Do your parents love you?
Maybe. Can't really tell the difference honestly.

There's a serial killer inside your house. What do you do?
I get my axe and I kill the bastard. No one tries to off me and expects to get away with it.

Would you be the dumb bitch who gets killed first in a movie?
Hell no. I'm either the comedic relief the prick that doesn't respect anybody's bullshit.

Do you get scared during scary movies?
Not exactly. I analyze.

Where do you want to live when you're older?
Someplace where I am accepted and loved by those around me. Someplace where it's never to hot or cold where everything is just right.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2009?
No. Everything has changed. Alliances have shifted and borders have been put up. I lost 2009. I may have had the initiative but people were against me. Traitors. The lot of them. If you can't tell the truth the say nothing.

Your phone is ringing. It's your ex. What do you say? How am I supposed to know if it's my ex or not? If so then I suppose being civil would do despite the amount of betrayal has been done.

Have you ever kissed anyone you weren't dating?
Nope. I am always faithful regardless how convenient things are.

Are you on any type of drugs?
No I am sober.

Where did your last hug take place?
I honestly can't remember. I cherish hugs when I actually get them though no one touches me.

Is there someone you're missing right now?
Sure there's someone I'm missing but a lot of good that does me, I got shit to do.

Whats something you need to get done?
I need to law down the law.

Have you ever fallen asleep in an opposite sex's bed?
Sure who hasn't.

What was the most boring thing you did today?
Train a new employee.

Are you taller then 5'5?
Yes though some would say barely.

Do you ever wonder if the person next to you is a virgin?
No, not really. Again with the inane questions?

Did you know anybody that has committed suicide?
I did. I hate funerals.

Are your toe nails painted pink?
No, my toes are almost always bruised since I wear steel toe boots all the time. There is no better shoe than one you can kick the shit out of dumb fucks with when things are nitty gritty.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
My crazy art friend. Who is an absolute hoot to talk to.

Do you cry?
I haven't in a while. It's kind of hard to connect with my emotions as of late.

Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you messed that up?
Sure. Who hasn't?

Have you ever kissed someones who's name started with a R?
Nope. Can't say that I have.

What does your 9th last text in your inbox say?

Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
At level that is comfortable to me.

Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo?
No not at the time.

Could things possibly get any better?
They could though I don't think will spiral out that way for a while.

When you're getting ready for something, do you listen to music?
I do because it allows me to concentrate.

Where were you last Saturday night?
At home trying to beat a video game.

Who is the last person you ate with?
My mother.

Would you ever try being a vegetarian?
I have before it takes more discipline than I had at the time. If I were ever motivated to be one then maybe I'd try it out again.

Is there anyone you know that deserves to get slapped?
Plenty of people. There's a list. Pick one from it. They deserve to get slapped.

Do you prefer to call or text?
I prefer to call. I rather hear a voice let's me tell who they are and what they really think. Texting is mostly impersonal and a way to cop out actually have a conversation that is meaningful.

If you could have anything right now what would it be?
For me to get a better job that has less stress and opportunity for advancement.

Did your last kiss mean anything to you?
It did though it let me know my fate was sealed.

1107867  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-01-21
Written: (4385 days ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9cP-1kC3So&NR=1&feature=fvwp is the skinny guy in this skit Allistair from Dragon Age origins?

1107382  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-01-16
Written: (4390 days ago)

it would appear that ya'll should mosy over to my deviantart http://dirkrichards.deviantart.com I got some new written works.

My shoulder needs to quit killin' me.

 The logged in version 

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