[lacklustre]'s diary

1107382  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-01-16
Written: (4514 days ago)

it would appear that ya'll should mosy over to my deviantart http://dirkrichards.deviantart.com I got some new written works.

My shoulder needs to quit killin' me.

1107162  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-01-14
Written: (4516 days ago)

The past is only a stepping stone to our futures. Don't forget that we shape our tomorrows by what we do today. And when one is vigilant of these facts we'll steer ourselves to an acceptable future.

1105387  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-12-28
Written: (4533 days ago)

Feeling like I am dead on my feet feeling like i could fall over but I will remain vigilant, I will remain standing. I will not fail despite the wishes of my nemesi.

1104129  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-12-16
Written: (4545 days ago)

Feeling fatigued. Not been sleeping well at all lately. Hoping to get my life back in order. Keeping things at work in order doesn't matter if I can't organize or salvage anything from my personal life.

1103843  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2009-12-15
Written: (4546 days ago)

I absolutely enjoy when assholes make threats against my life over the internet. Enter the law. I hate assholes. I hate them very much. I hate the ones that try to control everything.

1103683  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2009-12-13
Written: (4547 days ago)

By the wayside I have fallen... I'm just debris floating in space.

1103054  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-12-09
Written: (4552 days ago)
Next in thread: 1103070, 1103078

Discovering that I am not worth anything as of late. Not even sure if I am still considered an entity.

1102619  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-12-05
Written: (4555 days ago)

My heart is burning a hole through my chest and I just want to let it out.

1101908  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-11-28
Written: (4563 days ago)
Next in thread: 1103426

I suppose I should be delighted that I am only second best. That my total worth is similar to that of which is considered the other white meat. As if to say the sum of my worth despite all of my endeavors is only worth dross. There's much more to life when you aspire to be high than the gutter or the stars above them. When you want to be successful in spite of nay saying and traitors cowards who much rather abandon you to the wolves than help you when your steps falter. I dare to pick myself up, brush myself off and try again. I dare to want the things that are inalienable to my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness provided the feelings are mutual. What's the point of survival when the definition is not to flourish in the face of adversity? What's the point of pleasantries when you're dealing with ungrateful faggots? I'll tell you the point: It's because when you prove them wrong, when you redefine the moment or how something is done all the people who've tried to stop you will only be forced to eat their words and frolic about in the petty worlds with their delusions of eloquence.

1100919  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-11-18
Written: (4573 days ago)

Man I am exhausted. I am going to have to be aggressive the next few weeks. Provided i survive.

1100109  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-11-09
Written: (4582 days ago)

I guess I'm just another bad guy.

1097436  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2009-10-15
Written: (4606 days ago)
Next in thread: 1097451

You're a member of the elite now. The world will be your oyster and the horn of plenty shall be available. While the rest of us our dying you'll be with the high and mighty spared our harsh fate. Though you don't really belong, they'll keep you so long as your useful.

1097194  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2009-10-13
Written: (4609 days ago)
Next in thread: 1098781

Dear Shit Beard and Bitch Flocket,

I hate you both. You're both shitty people with horrible in tastes in anything cultured. Your life style habits and lack of hygiene are disgusting. Honestly I wish ya'll would just get eaten by zombies or abducted by aliens for an extended and permanent anal-probing. Seriously though if you think being petty with me will work then I suggest you think again. I can raise quite the shit storm when motivated. Especially when I go a crusading.

Thanks for wasting my time- douche bags,

1096900  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-10-10
Written: (4612 days ago)

I am fighting a multi-front war. I am exhausted. I need a change in scenery. I am not a slave anymore so don't like I'm amongst the ranks of the indentured.If you want my help then accept the fact even though terms may be negotiable respect for both parties should be constant.

1095569  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2009-09-25
Written: (4626 days ago)

I feel so dead right now.

1093943  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2009-09-11
Written: (4641 days ago)

Fighting exhaustion and isolation. Not sure if I've been winning. Not sure what I am doing but I do hope to survive.

1093314  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2009-09-06
Written: (4646 days ago)

I feel like there is a drill in my brain keeping me from being able to think. I am so sick of flakes. It's not winter or breakfast.

1092725  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-08-31
Written: (4651 days ago)

Well I am getting better but I need more time to sleep. It seems when I drop gaming altogether and work and come home there's never enough time to rest.

1088243  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-07-27
Written: (4687 days ago)

My health has been deteriorating lately. Been losing some weight but the nose bleeds and headaches are getting to me. I've been so very lonely lately. And I honestly don't know what I should do. Trying to hang in but I find my world is getting smaller everyday. I've got to get a grip but it's slipping away from me.

1083076  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-06-17
Written: (4726 days ago)

Obviously you need your space and I'm invading. I'll give you space for a bit. Hopefully we'll see the light and realize what the true problem is.

1076808  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2009-04-28
Written: (4777 days ago)

My Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test ( http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-quick-painless-enneagram-test ) scored me as "8- The Asserter" which is a very accurate description of me if you feel like reading it.

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
* Give me space to be alone.
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being an EIGHT

* Being independent and self-reliant...
* Being able to take charge and meet challenges head on...
* Being courageous, straightforward, and honest...
* Getting all the enjoyment I can out of life...
* Supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me...
* Upholding just causes...

What's Hard About Being an EIGHT

* Overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to...
* Being restless and impatient with others' incompetence...
* Sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it...
* Never forgetting injuries or injustices...
* Putting too much pressure on myself...
* Getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right...

 The logged in version 

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