[lacklustre]'s diary

1103683  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2009-12-13
Written: (4547 days ago)

By the wayside I have fallen... I'm just debris floating in space.

1103054  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-12-09
Written: (4552 days ago)
Next in thread: 1103070, 1103078

Discovering that I am not worth anything as of late. Not even sure if I am still considered an entity.

1102619  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-12-05
Written: (4555 days ago)

My heart is burning a hole through my chest and I just want to let it out.

1101908  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-11-28
Written: (4563 days ago)
Next in thread: 1103426

I suppose I should be delighted that I am only second best. That my total worth is similar to that of which is considered the other white meat. As if to say the sum of my worth despite all of my endeavors is only worth dross. There's much more to life when you aspire to be high than the gutter or the stars above them. When you want to be successful in spite of nay saying and traitors cowards who much rather abandon you to the wolves than help you when your steps falter. I dare to pick myself up, brush myself off and try again. I dare to want the things that are inalienable to my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness provided the feelings are mutual. What's the point of survival when the definition is not to flourish in the face of adversity? What's the point of pleasantries when you're dealing with ungrateful faggots? I'll tell you the point: It's because when you prove them wrong, when you redefine the moment or how something is done all the people who've tried to stop you will only be forced to eat their words and frolic about in the petty worlds with their delusions of eloquence.

1100919  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-11-18
Written: (4573 days ago)

Man I am exhausted. I am going to have to be aggressive the next few weeks. Provided i survive.

1100109  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-11-09
Written: (4582 days ago)

I guess I'm just another bad guy.

1097436  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2009-10-15
Written: (4606 days ago)
Next in thread: 1097451

You're a member of the elite now. The world will be your oyster and the horn of plenty shall be available. While the rest of us our dying you'll be with the high and mighty spared our harsh fate. Though you don't really belong, they'll keep you so long as your useful.

1097194  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2009-10-13
Written: (4609 days ago)
Next in thread: 1098781

Dear Shit Beard and Bitch Flocket,

I hate you both. You're both shitty people with horrible in tastes in anything cultured. Your life style habits and lack of hygiene are disgusting. Honestly I wish ya'll would just get eaten by zombies or abducted by aliens for an extended and permanent anal-probing. Seriously though if you think being petty with me will work then I suggest you think again. I can raise quite the shit storm when motivated. Especially when I go a crusading.

Thanks for wasting my time- douche bags,

1096900  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2009-10-10
Written: (4612 days ago)

I am fighting a multi-front war. I am exhausted. I need a change in scenery. I am not a slave anymore so don't like I'm amongst the ranks of the indentured.If you want my help then accept the fact even though terms may be negotiable respect for both parties should be constant.

1095569  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2009-09-25
Written: (4626 days ago)

I feel so dead right now.

1093943  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2009-09-11
Written: (4641 days ago)

Fighting exhaustion and isolation. Not sure if I've been winning. Not sure what I am doing but I do hope to survive.

1093314  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2009-09-06
Written: (4645 days ago)

I feel like there is a drill in my brain keeping me from being able to think. I am so sick of flakes. It's not winter or breakfast.

1092725  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-08-31
Written: (4651 days ago)

Well I am getting better but I need more time to sleep. It seems when I drop gaming altogether and work and come home there's never enough time to rest.

1088243  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-07-27
Written: (4687 days ago)

My health has been deteriorating lately. Been losing some weight but the nose bleeds and headaches are getting to me. I've been so very lonely lately. And I honestly don't know what I should do. Trying to hang in but I find my world is getting smaller everyday. I've got to get a grip but it's slipping away from me.

1083076  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-06-17
Written: (4726 days ago)

Obviously you need your space and I'm invading. I'll give you space for a bit. Hopefully we'll see the light and realize what the true problem is.

1076808  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2009-04-28
Written: (4776 days ago)

My Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test ( http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-quick-painless-enneagram-test ) scored me as "8- The Asserter" which is a very accurate description of me if you feel like reading it.

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
* Give me space to be alone.
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being an EIGHT

* Being independent and self-reliant...
* Being able to take charge and meet challenges head on...
* Being courageous, straightforward, and honest...
* Getting all the enjoyment I can out of life...
* Supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me...
* Upholding just causes...

What's Hard About Being an EIGHT

* Overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to...
* Being restless and impatient with others' incompetence...
* Sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it...
* Never forgetting injuries or injustices...
* Putting too much pressure on myself...
* Getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right...

1076806  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2009-04-28
Written: (4776 days ago)

Well halle-fuckin'-lujah! I found one of those darn fangled personality tests. Here are the results:

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

 * Stand up for yourself... and me.
 * Be confident, strong, and direct.
 * Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
 * Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
 * Give me space to be alone.
 * Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
 * I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
 * When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT

 * being independent and self-reliant
 * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
 * being courageous, straightforward, and honest
 * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
 * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
 * upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT

 * overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
 * being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
 * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
 * never forgetting injuries or injustices
 * putting too much pressure on myself
 * getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

EIGHTs as Children Often

 * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
 * are sometimes loners
 * seize control so they won't be controlled
 * figure out others' weaknesses
 * attack verbally or physically when provoked
 * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

EIGHTs as Parents

 * are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
 * are sometimes overprotective
 * can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Here's the link if you want an easy personality test: http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-quick-painless-enneagram-test

1069274  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2009-03-05
Written: (4831 days ago)

Ewok_Poacher wrote:
Seems like every time I get into one I get blown up...but can't take one out before it kills me and my team.

Anyone know of the best way to take one out? I play mostly hardcore, but haven't noticed a difference in tank vuneralbility between the two game types.

So far the quickest way to take one out is to hit it twice from behind with a bazooka and a sticky grenade. Satchels take too long to place and trying to set a trap takes too long.

So I was thinking Bazooka for perk 1, slight of hand for perk 2 and extreme conditioning for perk 3.

To quote another forum post and expand on the topic of tank busting and other strategies.

Personally, I use satchel charges to take out tanks. If it's in front of it within 5 feet and they have forward moment it'll move the hit box for being under the tank over the charges netting you the trapper challenge if you haven't already got it.

If you're playing mostly hardcore then take camo. You do not want the enemy seeing you when you get recon. Mainly because it makes it 5 times easier to kill you since now they can just fire at the point in the map that you're located at when the line goes by on their radar.

Bazooka is only good if you have other people using it. And if that's the case try and make sure at least one other teammate is available to assist you in dealing with a tank while a third covers you both from a vantage point. I've seen entire anti tank squads obliterated because they had no one covering them.

There's a reason it's hardcore team death match. That means move like a team and hold down areas like a team.

First: Don't clump together when moving, it keeps you from being able to hit the enemy when all of you are blocking each others shot. Giving the enemy Recon/Artillery/Dogs. Don't all sit in the same area where entrances/exits can be covered.

Second: Absolutely make sure that someone in your team has betties at least two people if you're running six. Placement is key, especially where the enemy will not find until they are dead. Further up the beaten path or out from which they will flank.

Third: Smoke grenades can be useful to cover up mines when the enemy is blitzing your position. Allowing them to trip mines or stumble into a kill zone. Usually when playing I have two team mates with smoke, two with flares and tabun gas. So that way it will keep them blinded, moving slowly and confused.

Fourth: Always watch your six. When you massacre an enemy team or group of enemies there's always a chance it will spawn them directly behind you or where they are going. And you can't always kill them all.

Fifth: If you have six break them into teams of three. Able and Baker Squad. In objective games it gives you sizable numbers with which to take a flag, capture an hq or dominate. It also keeps the enemy from out right getting artillery or dogs should they get that luck grenade or noob tube shot off before you down him. Make sure your team stays with their respective teams and be sure that both squads have two guys that can move between objectives or areas to lend support should it be needed.

Sixth: Communicate. Don't just look at the skull and cross bones, tell your team where they are, how many they were and what weapons they were carrying. Short and to the point. A little bit of mic use saves you the grief of wasting precious bullets to kill dogs.

Seventh: Have fun. I know most of ya'll casual players but I want to see ya'll succeed against the pros and have fun.


After spending more time observing both Call of Duty 4 and Call of Duty: World at War, I've decided to share my reflection in more encompassing strategies. Now granted some of us are awesome at the Call of Duty games many people like me and the more casual gamer need that boost and edge that better gamers take for granted.

One: Recon. Plane/ UAV both are a pain in the ass but mind you they are easily avoidable should you not be using the camouflage perk. Just lay prone, hold off firing your gun for a moment and crawl to a position that isn't in the open.

Do not make yourself a target. It also might help when people are shooting at you. Should this be executed correctly, the player will either think their kill was stolen by a squad mate or that perhaps it's lag and they've already killed you. If not and they keep firing just make sure you can make that split second count.

Laying prone when being shot at can save you from Halo Hoppers because they're aiming for upper torso/head and with no target to hit they're missing for the second they've got air time. That means it's an easy finish for you and that ain't so bad. That means a point for you and a loss for them.

Two: When you're dying by taking certain routes then back off, observe the enemy pattern of fire. Should the enemy be working in conjunction with each other then perhaps flanking, grenade launching or sniping would be a better answer to the problem of those pesky campers in concealed or elevated cover.

The one mistake most players holding down static positions make is that they get lulled into comfort because they've managed to slay a few people and now they have access to radar/air support/ dogs or helicopter. When that runs out then they're at the mercy of their senses. But fear not, once it's all done then flank the enemy come in at different point but make sure that you've swept it for mines first so that way they get no more kills.

If that player should keep going back to the same position then mine it lay a trap for them. They'll find that unpleasant surprise a bit discouraging and it will force them to look for a new nesting place, should they be trapped out in the open like you were then by all means kill them. That's what these games are about.

Three: Vehicles. I hate to kick a still living horse but this is a big topic especially for CODWAW. One or Two well placed satchel charges work wonders but mind you that 6 rockets work wonders as well. That requires a team effort.

Though should you find yourself alone and fighting a tank that can't quite send you to kingdom come, be aware that if the tank is too badly damaged the driver will probably abandon it and kill you. Hermit Crab: Don't be points to their score, immediately get in this now recently abandoned tank. It's armor you didn't have before and it's a means to kill that guy who has been tormenting you/team the entire game. Though shortly after eliminating said pest, abandon tank and be sure a teammate destroys that now unmanned steel behemoth.

Four: Fighting in day time is quite a relief from fighting in night. Though don't let that lull you into a false sense of security. Meaning when fighting at all times, stay low, run when your in the open and don't stand in the center. Otherwise you'll be that poor skull and crossbones that's waiting to respawn.

If you are not finding the enemy be mindful they're not always camping. Sometimes the more aggressive team will be moving as a main group with people on either flank to ensure they aren't being flanked as well. If you're not seeing them after 20 seconds then check your side and rear and move to a more defensible position.Though if you're trapped outside then make use of rocks, barrels or sandbags as low cover.

Should you not have either of that then through your special grenade(preferably smoke), wait for that initial barrage to die down a bit then run. If you're particularly crafty then drop mines or a grenade behind you. It will either kill one of them or make them reconsider following you.

Don't stop moving, sometimes Call of Duty multi-player is like a game of chess and the best piece for you to be is the Queen. To be a Queen, just keep your mobility and go where the enemy can't cover themselves easily.

And before I forget, go prone or crouched when reloading. Never try to reload on the move, it's slow and half the time the enemy will have you before you can swap for pistol or finish reloading. Should you need to reload on the move often then the sleight of hand perk is for you.

Fourth: Again, have fun, when I can think of more to add then you'll find it here. Good luck and don't become another skull and crossbones.

1068339  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2009-02-27
Written: (4837 days ago)

idiots should not use wild animals terms to describe one's that they perceive to have dominance. For the intellectual or those that're wise to avoid up close and personal confrontation a firearm will suffice. So taking that into consideration it'd not be wise to use terminology of alpha and beta. Would not be terribly prudent at all. People these days are reverting back to primitive type intellect. Or really I should those compatriots of mine here in the US of A despite the fact that I have more in common with the global community. I know not what I rant about but I do have a bit of annoyance at present.

1067800  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2009-02-23
Written: (4840 days ago)

I've been betrayed by my peers. Two of them because I spoke my mind and told them how I felt about not getting paid on time. Because I don't like being treated like shit by upper management. I believe in equal treatment ie you treat me nice, I treat you nice. You treat me like a delinquent I treat you like a delinquent and I'll have your ass. You just don't know it yet. I will not be replaced. I will not be fired. I will not be disrespected by people who're supposed to be professionals. If they will not be professional then they have no place working with me in the same store with me. Fuck them.

1065522  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2009-02-04
Written: (4860 days ago)

Hal scanned the horizon for movement. Nothing appeared in his heads up display. No heat heat signatures, movement or far off noise besides the wind blowing over the dunes. He switched his Combat HUD off, disengaged the pressure seal on his helmet and flipped his visor up to catch a glance of his environment with the naked eye. He always did this just to double check his surrounding. His enemies were numerous and capable of camouflaging themselves to electronics. In some cases jamming the sensors of his multi-million dollar combat suit.

Without moving his head, his scanned from left to right. His ears twitched straining themselves to filter out the howling wind. His hands clenched on his 2mm Gauss-rifle. For a moment he thought himself safe but silence means two things either an ambush or death has struck here. Both of which is bad considering his allies and himself were scattered across the lower half of the Libyan desert bordering Egypt.

It was shit storm ever since Crimson had gotten the leg up on their desert wars competitors Ares. Now he was smack dab in the middle of an African shit hole with hundreds of kilometers between him and his objective. He had the top of the line in regards to equipment. He was well stocked on ammo but that wasn't his concern. His only concern was profit. He had invested plenty of time into his training and his company. Now he was protecting his investment, Now he was running interference of his own to make sure viewers and fellow stock holders alike would be able to see their favorite Mega Corp come out ahead of the rest.

He re-pressurized his armor, Seal his helmet back and activated his Geiger counter. There were still rads in various parts of the desert where the wind had carried the fallout after the post Israel nuclear detonations and approximate retaliatory strikes. Amazing how the world had changed from governments to corporate. Everything micro-managed, cultured and manufactured.

Thoughts pinged through the back of his mind as he charged across the desert. The heat was starting to pick up as was the reader in his armor at 6 rads a second. Thankfully his armor had polymers interspersed through out his suit that prevent the radiation from sticking to him. And on the off chance some did get to him, it's nothing that modern medicine couldn't remove. Though he was trying to keep costs down. The fewer holes drilled inside of him, the more money he'd save for joy girls and trips the dives of the up and up. He was a AA man with aspirations of AAA status. "Funny," he thought because his competitors were AA with AAA aspirations.

He would just have to work harder to keep them down. He would have to make damn sure to kill some Lieutenants and higher ups when he finally made contact with the enemy. Just one lowly grunt would only net profit of Five shares, so just imagine what a commander would net him and investors alike.

He paused, taking a knee near a long rusting tracked prowler. He saw heat signatures on his HUD. They were hot in comparison to the sand of the desert around them. "Fifteen," he counted as his HUD gave him a read out of potential hostiles. He raised his rifle, smart-link kicking into range finder then tracking mode. Though none of the 'fifteen' had friendly IR markings, he didn't want an incident of friendly fire.

Hal held his breath, squeezing the grip of his rifle, easing his finger onto the trigger. The ammo counter came up to remind him he had over two hundred shots in his magazine and fifty before he needed to recharge the fuel cell.

They were Aztlan. The South American equivalent to a monopoly on the global food and bio-tech industry. They were the enemy too though not prioritized at the top of his list. They were still worth a few shares if he managed to frag them before they fragged him. He held his breath taking aim, on who appeared to be their commanding officer. He followed his steps, got a feel for his prey and pulled the trigger. The Gauss rifle bucked in his hand as the round let loose with a sonic boom. By the time they realized they were being shot at it would be too late.

The round his home as the unsuspecting Azzie was tore in two from the sternum to the shoulder body rolling end on end before settling in a mangle of shattered bone and liquefied muscle and organ. The light armor was no match for a State of the Art firearm.

He already had his next target sighted and down before they managed to get a fix on his position but by then it was too late. Hal had already moved positions by the time they had found where he was three of them were down. And a fourth was losing his head to a nearby passing 2mm rivet. They were new to desert warfare. Hal wasn't. He had been in and around desert wars since they discovered it was profitable to televise corps blowing the shit over televised and advertised Trideo television.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. And the fight was over. All of the scouting party were dead. The last one had tried to cast a physical barrier to protect him from the sniper fire but to no avail the high powered rifle tore through it like a razor cutting air.

Each body had been gibbed by the sheer kinetic force of the Gauss rifles 2mm shots. Each three shares. Today was a good day Hal thought. He gripped his rifle in one hand and began his march. Still no word, or signal that he had come across fellow squad mates. He wasn't worried. Though he should have been, he was a professional he could call in a rescue team if he wanted to but at the moment he was increasing his economic viability. He was a company man doing dirty work of his own.

"Life is good," he thought as he pushed onward.

 The logged in version 

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