This wiki sponsored in part by the [Sunrose] Does Not Suck committee

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I, Lord Turkey, annex this wiki, from wolves ( except for White Wolf), in the name of the turkey kind! MWA HA HA HAA!!!
Stupid Mort! You can't edit comments! *shakes fist*
[playa 101],is this thing on?????
Sweet Monkey tuesdays say I
Woo! I can edit the page!

╔╬╝

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|Da menyou| 

a limerick, by [Mortified Penguin]
.........Welcome to Bob's Diner,
ain't no place finer!
The food is good,
we're always in tha 'hood,
and [Sagacious Turkey] is a whiner!

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'If you are what you eat, then we're easy, fast and cheap!'

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Lunch:

1. Bob's special of the day: Sun. grilled cheese, Mon. leg of lamb, Tues. leg of bob, Wed. something we found on the street, Thurs. hamburger, Fri. tacos we stole from Taco Bell, Sat. you don't want to know. $4.19
2. hamburger & fries $4.00
3. uncooked ham (a live pig) $10.24
4. a bowl of fresh lard $3.49
5. Texas toast (this isn't really from Texas) $2.00
6. think of the nastiest thing you've ever seen or smelled... nope, nastier... yup thats it! $5.99
7. raw chicken liver with a dog drool sauce. $7.82
8. La Ham and cheese $2.30
9. Bob's Mama $1 an hour
10. Garfield's mama $0.50 an hour
11. sirloin $6.00
12. Sir. Loin (some British guy) £6.00
13. boiled Chef Zef $0.99
14. 3-legged lamb - whole: $10.00/ each leg: $2.00
15. fried Alley Gator $5.00
16. Plain poodle: $3.00/ Extra crispy poodle: $3.50
17. Poo Stew $2.25
18. Mashed taters and dressed up alligators $5.50
19. Woops, I sneezed... Oh well, might as well put it to good use... "snot sandwich" $1.25
20. Roasted n00b $4.00
21. Bloody Rock $1.50
22. Flattened road kill squirrel $4.75
23. Fresh n00b with blood croutons $4.50
24. [Shaggy13]'s soup $1.12
25. Turkey Jerkey $0.50
26. A Jerkey Turkey $5.00
27. YO MOMMA with a side of fries and a large soda $0.00
28. [Rolo]'s special: Mouse burger and french flies all for just $2.50
29. [Blvd. of broken dreams]'s Acid Kisses free to try then 4 easy payments of $19.95 to buy!!!!
30.
31. Micheal Jackson's nose $10.75
32. elf on the cob $5.50/whole elf $9.25
33. [spitfire_35121]'s mole 500,000.00
34. An Orange Chicken ¥300.00
35. Ground beef Carl $3.25
36. The Deep Fried Moose Combo $6.99
37. [sara(:]'s kitty.......$o.ooo9 per hour..
38. viagra pill $300
39. gobbler....?
40. a big fat bowl of ramen ¥800.00
41. hootchie cootchie $2.00
42. Burgers from McDonald's $1.00
43. Make Your Own Road Kill (Brought to you by MatchBox) $ 6.90
44. Deep Fried Squirrel Quesadilla $ 1.50
45. Eel Burger (it's shockingly delicious!) $3.4¾ (WARNING: Eel Burger may kill consumer. We are not responsible. Blame the eels!)
46. Selfish Shellfish Soufflé $4.99 (plus tip!)
47.All the grief, horror, madness,[Lethan] and opium-addled reverie you can shake a Victorian gentleman's walking stick at for a mere $5
48. [Eloura]'s Busted gut still fresh and good, for a nere (and this is a SALE people) $9.99
49. [Duke Devlin]'s Small Bacon Bit Babies. They are a delious bacony treat for any meal. $15,999.99 It's a real steal deal kids!
50. [Araglas]'s Zombie body food, just ask, it's good, and very fresh! Only $5.99!
51. All you can eat: [HardRockAngel]'s little brother: an endless supplie of meat. $12.99

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Breakfast:

1. Shakin' Bacon $1.50
2. Godzilla Eggs $1.20
3. Hash Browns $1.00
4. Hash Greens $1.00
5. Texas toast (this isn't really from texas) $2.00
6. French Toast (This isn't actually from France either) $3.50
7. French Fries (nope, still not from france...) $1.50
8. French Bread (NOT FROM FRANCE!!!) $1.25
9. French Wine (not from France exactly... it might have fallen off a truck,... but i don't know anything *whistles innocently*)

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Dinner:

1. [Mortified Penguin]'s squeegey $0.10
2. DUSTIN'S MAMA and a condom......we'll pay you...take it,we don't want "it".....
3. Sasmooko's Shoe $1.75
4. A leg $Shoot something, or someone
5. [Veari-chan]'s bunny rabbit..........$1.50
6. The "lame-@$$-mo'-frickin'-gay-infested-puppy-hating-country-o'-france" Special. (May include: French toast, french fries, french bread, french vanilla, french dressing, a lovely french dipping sauce, and a sexy lonely french woman that likes to french kiss) $19.95 if you order in the next ten minutes! ...plus shipping and handling...
7. [Evolution X]'s famous Spaghetti and eyeballs.
8. A Big Freakin' Bowl of Ramen $0 (Free for Mort, everyone else gets charged a mandatory $10 tip for the waiter)
9.Ugly stack of papers with protective cover. Looks to have been dropped into a beef broth by a sad, worn out, uncreative idiot. Yarg. (munches on a news-paper-colored-breakfast-sandwich) $2.00
10.Gammon with Fluff & gravy =] $0
11.Not so fresh puppy €7.00 (Other than brown colored +¥5.28)

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Dessert:

1. brownie-a-la-mode $2.00
2. crap-a-la-commode $2.00
3. artichoke pie $1.50
4. "cheese cake" (literally made of cheese) $1.75
5. Iced ice $0.50
6. Glazed rocks $0.75
7. Punkin Pie (full of fresh baked punks...) $2.00
8. Rake Cake (wanna do something special for your hard working rake for it's birthday? get this!) $1.75
9. n00b-a-la-blood $2.00
10. "Cow Pie" $2.00
11. [Phil Crooked]'s manhood $9,999,999,999.50
12. [Phil Crooked]'s manhood, FROSTED, $2
13. "apple sauce" $1
14. [nokaredes]'s old cast $how much you got?
15. [ikkle sid] for the night chocolate sauce included 4 all u randy twats lol ... $1,000,000,000
16. [Archeress of Mirkwood]'s liver flavored ice cream $2.50
17. [Archeress of Mirkwood]'s chocolate flavored moth-balls $1.75 per box
18. Bert and Ernie's every flavor spleens... er... I mean... beans. $1.00 per box
19.[bluefairy27]'s deadly blow fish surprise.$3.50
20. [Evolution X]'s Eskimo pie (from real eskimos)

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Drinks:

1. anything we can liquefy in the blender $1.00
2. snot $1.00
3. urine $1.00
4. "mystery meat juice" $1.00
5. liquid lard $1.00
6. [Veari-chan]'s special "coffee" $1.95
7. goat milk $1.00
8. watered down tea $1.00
9. Turkey Milk $1.00
10. A Pint of Blood $0.50
11. A Quart of Blood $1.00
12. Goblet Of Blood On The Rocks $2.50
13. Rat Milk $1.00
14. Snow Coco $1.00
15. Hot, steaming cup of Coffee $1.00 (per cup)
16. Liquid ice $2.50 per pound
17. A "booty" shake $6.66
18. From the makers of Granny's Bunyan Creme and Granny's Homegrown Arsenic... we bring you... Granny's Hard Rubbing Alcohol! Not only does it get you hammered more than a nail, but it also helps heal your internal cuts! (WARNING: Granny's Hard Rubbing Alcohol will NOT heal your internal cuts. In fact, it may make them worse. We are not responsible for any injuries and/or death. Blame Granny!) $Depends on how "under the influence" you are.
19.something [Lethan] squeezed out of a brick

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Appetizers:

1. half a cracker $1,000,000
2. Bloody Rock $1.50
3. [sara(:]'s (very little) Brain $2.00
4. [Veari-chan]'s Foamy the Squirrel $5000.00 ((i stole him hahahahahaha))
5. [Mortified Penguin]'s intelligence (not a very big meal...) $0.25
6. Slice of maggot cheese $1.50
7. Cooked Sushi $4.50
8. Tumble Weed $1,000.01
9. [Veari-chan]'s "happy crack".......$1.50((its weed))
10. Bowl of tears $.50
11. Crickets (a bowl full) $0.50
12. "Eye Rolls" $1.50
13. Corn on the toes $1.50
14. cooked sushi $2.00
15. Big, huge, throbbing, hot, juicy... breadsticks! $DAH.LER
16. [Mortified Penguin]'s ashes $Free to try $39.95 to buy
17. [Blvd. of broken dreams]'s leg (stays fresh for about a month) hehe jr., i told you!!!1
17. Military Intelligence (not much there) $9,999 {brought in by [Veari-chan])
19. Fresh squeezed hangover from [Evolution X]
20. Ganondorf's Noodly Appendage (note: not big enough to be considered full meal) $4.00
21. Peanuts of Pathos $free with the purchase of a drink (In loving memory of our dear old friend, [Paul Doyle].)
22. Flagon of Dragon Lotion. Not sure what to make of this, frankly. It's not really a drink . . . have this with Peanuts of Pathos, perhaps? Do you have what it takes to consume this? I'm not sure I do.
23. [Mortified Penguin]'s head on a fake cheap silver platter.

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JOIN BOB'S DINER!!!
You got served! At Bob's Diner that is! ^^

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visitors
(Does this thing even work?!)
As of 10/22/06, this thing says, "17517"... we shall see.

Clearly this thing restarted... several months ago... I don't know why...(11/14/07 - 1272)

Well, as of December 31st 2007, it says 2514. I think it makes up random numbers XD Just as long as it rises, no one will notice ;)

Now it says 5457... It's not nearly as high as it used to be...

6625! - 2008-07-16

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Don't see sumthin ya like on da menu? Well, add to it!

RULES: Nothing sanitary! And don't drag your "relationships" in here, or you will be punished to the full extent of my imagination...

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STAFF:

STAFF PICS

FOUNDERS: [Sagacious Turkey] and [Mortified Penguin]
MANAGER: [Mortified Penguin]
[Mortified Penguin]'s keeper: [Blvd. of broken dreams]
CHEF: [PixieStickChick] (Chef Steph)
BATHROOM JANITOR: [teddbear] (gotta start somewhere)
VICE MANAGER: [spitfire_35121] (or so he claims)
CASHIER: [Bringer of Nightmares](check your money twice if ya know what i mean)
BAR STOOL TIGHTENER: [hellraiser]
FOOD TESTER: [silvermoon dragon]
WAITER: [Look at Bob go Grr] Im the type of waiter who nasty things if you're not nice to me
WAITRESS: [Lethan] (yes, I'm aware that it says 'Waitress' I just want to feel pretty...whats wrong with that!?)
Body Guard: [Rangers29]
PUBLICIST: [Blvd. of broken dreams] Make me a shirt I'll wear it!!!
OUR HOOKER... UH, I MEAN, BUTCHER: [sara(:]
STRAW CLEANER: [Leelo]
CO ASSISTANT ROCK POLISHER: [Acidic Khemica]
HEAD MECHANIC: [Pillowthief]
CREDIT CARD CUTTER UPPER: [Pillowthief] (Yes, I have two jobs. I need the money!)
POLE DANCER: [Insaniac Yoshie]
"POOPER SCOOPER":[Useless]
CREATURE KEEPER: [Sagacious Turkey]
STRIPPER/ LAPDANCER: [~*~Tinkerbell~*~]
PROOFREADER: [nokaredes]
RAMEN SUPPLIER: [Imperator] (Assuming, of course, that those Guard Land Squids keep the peasants away from my imperial crops...)
THE PRODIGAL SON II---ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: [Paul Doyle] Just like how the otherwise useless Abominable had something to do when 'reformed' in "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (he put the star at the top of the Christmas tree) one can only hope that reformed Pauly now has something to do. Do we hope . . . or do we care? *cough* *eats ramen*
THAT DRUNK WHO ROLLS IN AROUND MIDDAY AND TALKS TO THE SALT SHAKERS AND NEVER ORDERS ANYTHING: [Thunder God Cid]

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Bob's Badges

517) Who would make the best manager of Bob's Diner? (Administrator: [Sagacious Turkey])

Number of voters: 151
* a) [Mortified Penguin]
Number of votes: 76 (50%)

* b) [Sagacious Turkey]
Number of votes: 28 (19%)

* c) Mort again!
Number of votes: 15 (10%)

* d) [spitfire_35121]
Number of votes: 7 (5%)

* e) [Hedda] *cough* loser *cough*
Number of votes: 25 (17%)

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The Other Half

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Bob's Diner for Huckabee!

HA Not likely!

What?!

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Operation Penguin/Turkey Takeover

Wikis Conquered:
Magic Society
Haters of the World
Berry Wine Bar
the mutt society
the musketeers of elftown
the gentleperson's club
fellowship of the stoners
hate
h8
~gryffindorm10
insult corner
ramen
christ
christians

Current Targets:
huggers united (You can't take over this wiki,I Won't allow it!)
anthro lovers
kinky people united
perverted people united
The Confused Club
SHU! -(Hurray! ...Wait, what? Thats MY wiki!) -...for now! -Not for now! Over my dead body! -...yeah, that's the plan! -No! Not the noodly appendage! -...did you say noodle?! *eats ramen*
Calico Tiger Art Progressions

Usernames seized:
[Sir Soapy]
[Nc-17]

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Art

_{--->Charlie Brown: Smokin' Deuces<---}

Alright! Page version 666! ...2008-07-16... ST.

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This is Larry. He's the janitor. He has five cats.

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BOB'S BANNER CONTEST!

You have from now until August 30th to make a Bob's Diner banner. That is, some sort of image advertising Bob's Diner. Unlike all my other contests, this one actually has a prize! The winner (which will be determined by a poll) will receive an original signed Mort drawing and the password to my username! Place all submissions under this line:

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1. banner By:[Misty-chan(I Love Rock Lee!)](I don't want your password.)

2.

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Brought to you by...

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Bob's Diner Status Report:

Year 04/05 05/06 06/07 07/08	Comments     9708     3871     3065     5676

Total: 22320 (though it should be 22357!)

This leaves some 37 missing comments. It is Bob's Diner's top priority to find these missing comments and bring them home safely.

Thanks to the brilliant leadership of [Mortified Penguin], Bob's Diner has had it's second best year yet! We nearly doubled those comments from last year and even brought B's D out of it's depression. So remember... support the Ramen Party and Bob's Diner in the next friscal (that's right! friscal!) year... every comment counts. (This has been a public service announcement from CEO, Mortified Penguin.)