whoa! you want my advice??

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2009-07-23 20:39:44

Last author: hanhepi
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Have you ever had a question you just couldn’t find the answer to? Ever been in desperate need of advice? Ever just want to see a silly question in print, and see an equally silly answer below it? Welcome to Whoa! You Want My Advice?? No question too big or too small! All questions will receive my full attention, and you may even get a second opinion from Mr. Advice Person if he feels like chiming in. That’s right, Whoa! You Want My Advice?? can answer any question you can come up with! (Or fake it so well you'll think I know what I'm talking about!)

Lost and confused and looking for answers to your problems? Join the club. Want my opinion on what you should do? Are you sure?? Well just leave me a little note here, and wait for [hanhepi] to answer your question or solve your problem.

This page no longer appears in The Town Herald

1.
Dear Advice Lady,

I cant find my keys. I remember setting them down somewhere, but I don't know where. I've looked everywhere! The last time I can remember having them, I was in the car looking in the glovebox for something. What should I do, so my wife doesn't kill me?

- Mr. Advice Person

Dear Mr. Advice Person,
I'm sure they will turn up eventually. Remember when you lost your credit card? Where was it? That's right, it was on the table with all the other stuff from your pockets! (walks out to car) There. Rear window on car. You're welcome.
~Advice Lady

2. Dear Advice Lady,

Suppose they learn a way to clone DNA from dead tissue samples, and do indeed bring dinosaurs back to life a la Jurassic Park, and then some geek decided to bring Michael Jackson back to life using a DNA sample from his mummified nose. Who would play the parental role to keep MJ out of trouble, so that he'd leave his face alone already, and actively date adult women instead of being a child molester? Would the MJ-clone control his own destiny, or would it be up to society to determine his fate?

-[Paul Doyle]

*Stutters* uh.... um..... er.....ah.... hmmm. I'm workin on an answer to this, but, damn, genetics, psycology, and philosophy. and possibly a little archeologhy. holy crap there is a lot of science involved in this one!

And now, the answer to paul's question

3. Dear Advice Lady,

My life is horribly boring, I can't drink, smoke, eat lovely food, stay up late, do anything that tires me out, or basically do any of the funnest things in life. I am constrained to drinking weak tea, which is disgustingly like puddle-water, and declining invitations I would have jumped at a year ago. My friends lives are limited to parties, and they barely even wake up during the daylight hours, so my life is growing increasingly more and more dull. GIVE ME ADVICE! What shall I do? :O

-The Red one.

2005-01-28 [hanhepi]: yup! the answers will appear in issue 10. :)by the way, did you see the answers in issue 9? (you stalker you. :P)

2005-01-28 [Sunrose]: Of course I did :P // when is it due?

2005-01-28 [hanhepi]: herald submission deadline is feb 21, so i need questions in by feb 18.

2005-01-28 [Sunrose]: Okay :)

2005-02-14 [Shining light]: Um...WHAT "known connection to aluminum and alzheimers"? There IS no connection.

2005-02-14 [hanhepi]: i have heard of one before, but i thought it was alluminum sulfate (like in anti-persprants.) i am going to investigate the matter before i answer. :)

2005-02-15 [Shining light]: sure. read the book by Dr. Karl Lebruski(or some other russian name) called "Great MYTHConceptions" which explaines the whole thing, in detail.

2005-02-19 [xAcidxDesirex]: With the known connection to aluminum and alzheimers, why is so much stuff sold in aluminium cans? RE: The man concieved this idea forgot why.

2005-02-26 [Shining light]: I tell you, here is no connection between alzheimers and any metallic substance known on earth! It. Is. All. A. Hoax. Extensive tests have been carried out, but it's nothing but hogwash for people to cram into spam emails.

2005-02-26 [hanhepi]: shining, acid was making a joke. and dont worry too much about the connection, i researched it, then explained it for the question. you can read it when the herald comes out.

2005-09-21 [Faery]: I got a good hard one for you there, han

2005-09-21 [hanhepi]: that IS a good hard one. :/ i will do my best on it.

2009-01-31 [hanhepi]: leaving a comment to see if it will do it....

2009-01-31 [Hedda]: Hmm....

2009-01-31 [hanhepi]: perplexing, ain't it.

2009-02-02 [Janouk]: eh? :p

2009-02-02 [hanhepi]: oh, it was a bug in my browser .. i comment and it takes me to an empty wiki (this name but with #wc at the end of the address) hedda was looking at it.

2009-02-03 [Janouk]: Oh, okay ;)
*kicks herself for being nosy then :p*

2009-02-03 [hanhepi]: nah, its ok. i'd have wondered too. lol

2009-07-07 [Paul Doyle]: It's time to wake this page up!

2009-07-23 [hanhepi]: and now to answer's Red's question.

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