When a stranger calls 2006 review
Jake Wade Wall (screenplay)
Camilla Belle... Jill Johnson (Can you say un-origional?)
Katie Cassidy... I call her random girl. She dies anyway.
Tommy Flanagan... Stranger. No freakin' joke, he doesn't have a name
Tessa Thompson... unimportant
Brian Geraghty... unimportant
Clark Gregg... unimportant
Derek De Lint... unimportant
Kate Jennings Grant... unimportant
(Seriously, you see these people for like... a second. At most.)
Arthur Young... Will Mandrakis (A.K.A scared little kid in the hamper)
Madeline Carroll... Allison Mandrakis (Another scared child that you see in like... two scenes)
Steve Eastin... Detective Hines (Helpful...I guess)
John Bobek... Officer Lewis (The only smart one)
Brad Surosky... Boom boom (I want to ask, who?)
Karina Lougue... Track coach... (Good to see that the help is loved.)
The girl, Jill, gets into some kind of trouble so her dad makes her babysit for his bosses' two children. She wants to go to a party, which is what got her into trouble in the first place. Suprise. Anyhow, she goes to the house and some freak is stalking around the place for like... no reason... and killing random people, but she hasn't figured this out yet because she is too distracted by boys and parties to notice anything 'suspicious'. So she is in this giant mansion in the middle of senic nowhere when the guy starts toying with her, playing with her mind (or he would have, had she been capable of rational thought) so she has to track his calls so they can find the guy because he keeps calling and telling her creepy things (Or they are supposed
to be creepy, anyway.)
At least the characters were pretty, you know, they were very John Everyman. You know, skinny, hot, perfect hair, those kinds of people. Don't worry about the fact that most Americans are fat nowadays... oh no, they only got the super gorgeous ones for this. Naturally. The mansion was pretty kickass, but apparently the security system needed help because the 'stranger' kept getting in and out at will. Oh, and I just loved
how she picked up the candelabrum, that looked like it weighted... oh, I don't know... two or three pounds and tried to use it to fight the guy. No, ignore the glass objects, heavy concussion inducing statues/paper weights, the knives in the kitchen... the wine bottles... no, she grabs the freakin' candelabrum
Didn't even phase the guy.
So the kids were hiding in their bathroom hamper. 'cuz you know, hampers are invulnerable to attack. They didn't even lock the bathroom door. Oh, and the girl keeps trying to call the kids' brother who was a teenager in college, the thought that he may have been the 'stranger' never crossed her mind. He wasn't, of course, but he could have been. Also, her friend was killed by the stranger outside in her car, but where does our poor heroine find her body? On the third floor, in the bathroom of course! No bloodtrail up the stairs despite the evident head trauma she received, and how did he drag her up there without making some kind of noise? A body is fairly heavy... or so I've been told...
She went to the hospital after it all went down with the stranger, to get her bandages looked at and whatever, not to mention the fact that she was like... mentally disturbed. So she is alone in the hospital and she starts calling the nurse, who naturally doesn't come, so she gets up and walks out into the hall. She realizes that there is no one in the hospital, and no one at the nurses station. I myself was having flashbacks of Resident Evil, and half expected her to look down the hallway and see a one armed zombie child in a wheelchair, wheeling himself in circles. Needless to say after this image crossed my mind, I couldn't stop laughing.
These are two of my favorites. One when she runs, in the middle of the night, with only a phone for protection, through the woods and to the brother's house across the lake because she sees a light on in his house and thinks that he could help protect her. Don't worry about the fact that you just left the children suceptible to attack in the house, the fact that the stranger could be in the brother's house baiting you out there, or
that there could be any number of wild animal in the woods that are much scarier than a stupid human with no weapon. No, keep running through the forest with no respect to common thought.
Then when the guy actually attacks her. It was great. She never noticed the fact that, oh-I-don't-know, the dude doesn't have a weapon, or the fact that because he is a man a swift kick to the balls would have subdued him long enough for her to get away, or the number of things that were within her reach to attack him with. Instead she jumps into the pond with a dead body, 'cuz drowning is so much better than fighting to save yourself and the children. Very realistic.
Wait! I missed one! When she finds the children in the hamper she shuts and locks their door and the bathroom door in order to tell them where to hide and stuff, which takes like... five minutes tops. So then she opens the door and the dresser is moved against the door, almost like the stranger is in the room with them! ZOMG. She would have heard the dresser moving, unless along with stupid she can list deaf as one of her better qualities. And the stranger wasn't in the room...so where was he? Well, it hinted that he was crawling around the air ducts. Totally realistic. I know my six foot one-hundred-fifty seven brother has a great time crawling around the air ducts... they don't ever give way, and he says they are quite spacious.
All in all:
I laughed through most of it because it was totally unrealisic. At least in the first version of this movie, Jill goes after the killer and takes him out. Show some backbone, people. Geeze. I give it a 2/5 just because of the one armed zombie kid in the wheelchair wheeling himself in circles who didn't even exist in the movie, even though he would have made it that much more interesting.
Reveiw by; [Alexi Ice]
/ [Alexi Ice]
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