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Page name: The Travellers [Logged in view] [RSS]
2007-04-04 08:54:04
Last author: Mitsuharu
Owner: Mitsuharu
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THE space opera


Here at The Travellers HQ, we don't always just destroy. Some times we build, THEN destroy. Its a subtle process.





  The Travellers would like to point out to all readers that on several occasions, we do claim to have,
1. Involved ourselves in highy important or controvertial points in time, and
2. always been superior to everyone else.
The reasons that we say these things is because they are true.


 Established in 3425 CE on Zxrock IX, the High Time Directive was designed to send soldiers or historians (occasionally very gung-ho historians who filled both roles) backwards or forwards in time. There were many reasons for this, most of which are forgotten, and the rest probably aren't true.

 There were three separate branches of the organisation: The Time Police, who ensured that time followed the path it was supposed to, the Time Sifters, who ensured that it did not, and the Historix, who just watched then told everyone who they were and why they were so great.

 Being able to travel through time was often confusing as one job was frequently countered fifty years later and another was sent back to stop the original order taking place. This caused many people to become so bored and confused that they just went off and pissed about with time how they like. These time vigilantes are constantly hunted by the Time Police and are well-known meddlers, and because of their gung-ho and immoral way of dealing with time they are often employed by the Time Sifters. (Mainly to piss off the Time Police.)

 One such group of time vigilantes are the frankly infamous 'Terrible Two', currently known under the code-names [Mitsuharu] and [Little Victories], who have teamed up with [Random Pavarotti Disease]; this third member should be considered to be armed and potentially mildly hazardous and/or annoying. Below is the collected tales of their 'adventures', which are usually bloody and violent. These are only to be used by someone with Omega Primus 126 advance clearance and only for analysis to further the chance of their capture.




Related links to suspects:
Travellers - Matt
Travellers - Joshua
Travellers - Jez

Related links to other data files:

Statement - PLEASE READ!!!

In Real Time Order - Now the only order you can read the Travellers in, because we're lazy and couldn't be arsed to edit all four. So ha. Yes, wallow in that corner and DIE!

The Science of Super-Light Travel - Some fluff for the very scientific.

Essay on Time and the Human Notion of It - Some deep beard-stroking for the philosophical amongst us. Does not contain pictures.




News

April 4th - I introduce a new sub-series to the travellers, running along a similar line, looking at major historcal events in a new light, often with a moral, the latest, and first, is Interlude #1
PS My internet seems to be working now, but tentacles crossed, right? - M

April 1st - Introducing the lazy man's ultimate piece - A Very Short Piece. Enjoy. - Jez

March 13th - Steve has finally *ahem* fallen into a black hole and will not be writing for us anymore (or doing much else I imagine, him now being a small ball of hyper-condensed particle stuff). Steve, we salute you wherever you are. You are the one clone who I almost feel guilty about lining my pockets from your life insurance. Almost. - Joshua

March 10th - new peice, the countdown by me! - Matt

March 8th - It seems my internet is not going to be working any time soon, (this is one of my brief times it is working) I promise to do much work when the damn wires and cogs and lights all connect properly again. -Matt

March 4th - After a long break due to watching a lot of TV, I've finally gathered several of the many ideas I've had and put them into a new piece, the first in a series. It's episodic, so I don't know what'll happen next; basically, whenever I write a piece I'll find a way to connect it with the previous one. Anyway, here's the new piece: 852-54092 - The Jungles of Tafwocum - TOKSASAJ (The One Known Simply And Sinisterly As Jez)

January 21st - After a long period of absence, due to my computer refusing to remain on the internet for more than two minutes, and then kicking me off, I have returned. I intend to put some travellers up either tonight or tomorrow night. Maybe later if I'm hampered with GCSE revision. Yes, I am revising. I'm taking this test thing real serious. :P - Matt




Featured Piece;

852-54092 - The Jungles of Tafwocum by [Random Pavarotti Disease]

"Let's roll..." said Steve. He hefted the weapon onto his shoulder, took careful aim and shot himself in the shoulder.
"Amateur." said Jez, throwing one of his special anti-wombat grenades into the midst of the approaching platoon. Many of them suddenly collapsed, writhing around in pain as their eyes melted and their internal (and external...) organs suddenly turned into Marmiteā„¢. Matt and Josh stood side by side, in the face of the approaching torrent of furry death. Matt smiled.
"Say hello to my massive massive friend," he said.
"Hello, massive massive friend," came a small voice from Steve, slumped in the corner.
"I wasn't talking to you!" snapped Matt irritably, and blew the hell out of the approaching wombat platoon.





And the polls of the week are;

2421) On a scale of 1-10, how much do we all love midori for designing our new banner? (Administrator: [Little Victories])

Number of voters: 6
* a) 1 - If only I could tear you in twain with my bare hands
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* b) 2
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* c) 3
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* d) 4
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* e) 5 - If only I could care about your existence
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* f) 6
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* g) 7
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* h) 8
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* i) 9
Number of votes: 3 (50%) Voters: [Lucy-Lou], [The all powerful Midori], [sky fox]

* j) 10 - If only I could ravish you in the dark, away from prying eyes and the morals of the outside world
Number of votes: 3 (50%) Voters: [Little Victories], [Angels Of San-Angelus], [Random Pavarotti Disease]



2422) "Here's your new gadget, Bond" "Ingenious, Q; its a bomb but its also -" (Administrator: [Little Victories])

Number of voters: 7
* a) A cucumber
Number of votes: 1 (14%) Voters: [Lucy-Lou]

* b) A tree
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* c) A horse
Number of votes: 0 (0%)

* d) A Unicycle
Number of votes: 1 (14%) Voters: [sky fox]

* e) A croissant
Number of votes: 1 (14%) Voters: [Angels Of San-Angelus]

* f) A bomb
Number of votes: 3 (43%) Voters: [Random Pavarotti Disease], [Mitsuharu], [tuff ghost]

* g) A ravine
Number of votes: 1 (14%) Voters: [Little Victories]






Poll Results;

The travellers currency is hereby declared thus; seven Sexpenny pieces fit into the one Sleaze note. The units are being printed now on a knocked off Forge-A-Matic 5000 in the Engineering Quarters (the Engineering Quarters being the five metres or so radius around Jez's hammock). Note the actual worth of the currency is subject to change as even I won't remember it by tomorrow.

And also blaming the E numbers in Haribo's starmix does not get you out of trouble with the intergalactic space courts when you're on charges with murder to the 17 degree. Although a large amount of you decided to let me take the fall. Bastards.




It's the Fun Tidbit Section! Today's Question Is;

Your favourite verb is;


Josh; Liquify. E.g. Hello Chum. You seem to be under the delusion that threatening me will make me inclined to give you money, however, all it seems to be doing is make me want liquify you into a paste with my fists. Sorry.

Matt; Travel. Travel, travellers? get it? Heh.

Jez; Do. Can be used to replace almost any other verb, and therefore are perfect for lazy men *cough*. Ironically, verbs are doing words... How ironic.




It's hard to make a living when everyone wants you dead. Ironically, the best living is in death. Thanks, Steve

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2007-04-04 [Mitsuharu]: yes, yes I do.

2007-04-04 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: I've been watching them on YouTube :D

2007-04-05 [Mitsuharu]: cool, they are very funny!

2007-04-05 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: When Vince said "Yowser!" in episode 10, it was the highlight of my life. Sheer genius.

2007-04-14 [Angels Of San-Angelus]: I personally like the "Sghetti" moment of the last episode...

2007-05-21 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: Where has everyone gone? I'm all alone on my lonesome. I'm also very bored, and when I get bored small furry things die.

2007-05-31 [sky fox]: in an attempt to make you less bored, why is the greatest verb of all not on the favourite verb section? i speak of course of the illustrious verb - Defenestration!

2007-06-01 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: I'm not even going to ask.

2007-06-01 [sky fox]: what? you don't know what defenestration means? it's from the latin words de - from, or out of, and fenere (not sure of the spelling) - window

basicaly to defenestrate someone, is to throw them out of a window. look it up if you don't believe me.

2007-06-01 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: I think I'd find it much easier to say "I threw him out of a window".

2007-06-02 [sky fox]: well yeah, but it's just a fantastically weird verb!

the spanish have a verb to hit someone in the face with a frying pan too, but i don't know the word.

2007-06-03 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: I still think 'do' is the most useful verb there is.

2007-06-03 [sky fox]: well yeah, it's useful, but does that make a favourite verb?
sorry, i have a mild obsession with defenestration..... the fact that it's in the english dictionary made me laugh.

2007-07-13 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: ROAD TRIP USA!!! WOOOOOOO!!!

Sorry. In Chicago. Bored. You're all asleep now, but it's lunchtime here.

2007-08-06 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: Back in England. Still bored.

2007-08-13 [Little Victories]: my favourite verb is ejaculate. When Rowling used it in HP6 and got away with it, that basically made my mind up for me that I would be a writer.

2007-09-01 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: When did she do that?

2007-09-14 [Little Victories]: can't remember the page; but I do remember it was Slughorn. He barged into a room and 'ejaculated' something; which I assume means he shouted or proclaimed loudly. Not that he barged into a room, wopped his member out and proceeded to eject semen furiously over the inhabitants of said room.

2007-09-28 [Random Pavarotti Disease]: Right.

2007-10-01 [The all powerful Midori]: though it would have been more amusing if he had...

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