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2009-09-30 00:31:42
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Stupid Moments ~ At the Workplace


~*~


Stupid Moments ~ Old and Busted
From the good old days.


~*~


Readers of Stupid Moments





September 29


(H) I had one of those dreams again last night, the ones where there's an emergency and I can't dial 911. This time, this guy dressed as a plumber carrying a wrench that was two feet long broke into the house, and I tried calling 911, but I hit 711 instead, and it was this scripture of the day type thing, and they were like, "You have the wrong number, dear, you need 911." Then I kept trying, but I kept getting like 922, 119, or 411. I even thought in the dream that it was just like a nightmare come true, but it was way too realistic to be a dream.
(Wendy) That's an anxiety dream.
(H) I know, but I can't figure out what I'm supposed to be anxietous about.
(Wendy) What??
(H) What?

August 30th


(So earlier my husband told me that he had given our dogs bones to chew on and asked if they had finished them yet. About 15 minutes later, we looked back over at them and this conversation happened:)
Rachel: OMG look at Brandy!
(We both start laughing hysterically because Brandy had this weird look on her face and wasn't moving)
Hector, I think there's something wrong with Brandy, why isn't she closing her mouth??
Hector: ...cause she has a bone hanging out of it
Rachel: Ohh yeah...
(We both start laughing even harder)
Hector: Thanks, now I know you really pay attention

July 7th

(I think...)

(I (Rachel) am prego, and I had my first ultrasound on July 7th...I think. Before it, they tell you to turn off your cell phones cause the mess up the machines sometimes, so, I set my phone down next to my purse. Once we were done, I picked it up and put it in my pocket while we were walking out. As we were walking out I said:)
OMG Hector! I left my cell phone on the floor in the room!
(So freaking out, I ran all the way back to the room and looked and couldn't find it. Then I put my hand on my pocket and went:)
Ohhhhh nevermind lol It was in my pocket.
Hector: Wow Rachel...way to go.
The nurse: Haha it's ok, she's pregnant, she's allowed to be absentminded.

Newest of the Old


(H was working at the register when Nick, a kid she went to school with, came up to buy something)
(N) Hey! Do you remember me?
(H) Of course I do! How's it going?
(N) Not bad. I'm a senior now. Do you feel old?
(H) *pouts* Just waiting for my social security check.
(N) So do you still work here?
(H) Nope, I'm just here hanging out.
(N) Right...duh.

Old


(H is a closer at her job, and before they can leave, all the closers have to stand around and wait for a few minutes)
(Nathaniel the Team Lead) Wow, I just looked up and the popcorn machine said 'Hot Butt!!'
(H) What??
(Nathaniel) You know, the message was scrolling, and it hadn't gotten to the 'er' yet, so it said 'Hot Butt.'
*all stare at the popcorn machine*
(H) Wow, it's not just Hot Butt, it's Fresh Hot Butt!!

[long one, maybe not stupid or funny, but funny to H, so here is is]
(H is afraid of spiders, apparently big time, and one day when she was closing the book department alone, there was a big ugly one on her desk)
(H, frantically into the walkie) Can somebody please come kill a spider for me? Please!
(A, other associate) No, but I'll come catch it and put it outside.
*A comes over, but the spider's already gone because H was whacking at it)
(H) It ran when I tried to kill it.
(A) I wonder why...
(H) It was so fast! And it kept looking at me...
(A) Well it has eight eyes, what do you expect? Are you sure it's gone?
(H) I don't see it anywhere.
(A) Okay...still, you're probably risking your life standing so close to where it was.
(H jumps back) Right!
*LATER*
(H and A are helping another associate in another department. H picked up a Playboy purse and remarked that she liked it)
(A) Spider!
*H drops purse and squeaks*
(A) Oh my God! That was hilarious.
(Two days later, H was working a register when a huge, and I mean huge quarter-sized spider crawled out from the counter)
(H, again frantically into the walkie) Don't laugh, but can someone come kill a spider at register one? Please!
(A and D arrive, D tries to kill it but it's too fast, A tries to catch it, but it escapes into a corner)
(H) Great, now I can't go near that corner.
(A points at her shoulder) There it is!
(H) *takes her vest half off in a rush* You jerk. Someday I'll kill you for this.

(H was making an associate purchase at the place she works, so she had to provide her associate number to receive the discount)
(other associate) What's your number?
(H) 40766
(o.a) That's not you.
(H) Yes it is...
(o.a.) 40766?
(H) Shit! No, it's 869***!!
(o.a.) I was going to say I didn't think you'd been here that long.
(lol 40766 is H's ET number!!)

Older


(H was closing at work, like always, and everyone was up front for associate purchases. H was working the only open register, and she was tired and loopy)
(H) *in a singsong voice* $11.90 is your change, sir.
(Joey) Uh, thanks!!
(Sammy) That's my change!
(H)Oh! *takes money from Joey* $11.90 is your change, sir.
(Joey) Do you need to go to a meeting?
(H) What kind of meeting??
(Joey) AA.
(H) Maybe NA. Just kidding...I don't do drugs.
(Joey) Can I buy my stuff now?
(H) Sure. After, will you check me out? I really want to buy some Captain Morgan *pause* shoes. That's my nickname, you know. Captain Morgan.
(Joey) ...see? AA.

(H was at work, two associates were near her, one boxing rentals, one shrink-wrapping a buyback)
(Bailey) Joey really loves to shrink-wrap!
(Joey) I just can't get enough of it. I'm a shrinkaholic.
(H) That's odd...a guy obsessed with shrinkage.
(Bailey) Oh!! Ha!
(Joey) That's just...wrong.
(H) You brought it on yourself.

(Horizon was closing at work, and we all know how she loves to take any chance to be sarcastic)
(Bryce [singing to his iPod]) Rueben, what he be doin?
(H) Your face.
(Bryce) Ugh...
(H) OMFG, I swear I didn't think about that one before I said it. It was a reflex! Stupid catholic school kids, they're all a bad influence.
(Bryce) Aren't you one?
(H) Of course, that's where I learned it!

Olderer


(Horizon was working with a n00b Team Lead. He was doing pretty well, but he didn't quite have it yet. Someone had paged him on the phone in Guest Services. He thought it came from the walkie)
(Aaron) Okay, I'll be right there.
(Horizon laughs)
(Aaron) What?
(Horizon) You might want to push the button before you yell into the walkie.
(Aaron) ...I knew that!
(Horizon) Besides, they used the phone.

(Horizon was at work, again just talking with friends. They all have to wear name tags that say their home town, and Bryce's says Waterloo, Ia.)
(Bryce) People keep asking me where Waterlooia is.
(Ronisha) You're from Hawaii??
(Bryce) Oh my God, no! See?
(Horizon laughs)
(Ronisha) What?
(Horizon) It's like Josh. Everybody keeps asking him where Bath, Wales is.
(Ronisha) Where is it?
(Horizon) ...The UK.
(Ronisha) I didn't know Josh was from Africa.
(Horizon and Bryce) What?
(Horizon) Because he's from England...
(Ronisha) Oh!

(Horizon was at work hanging out at Guest Services with a couple work friends. That day, there were random incense sticks all over the store. Horizon found one, and she was trying to figure out what it smelled like.)
(Horizon) Bryce, what does this smell like?
(Bryce) *mumbles*
(Horizon) What?!
(Bryce) Apple Cinnamon.
(Horizon) Oh! CINNAMON. I get it.
(Bryce) What did you think I said? Oh my God!!
(Ronisha) What??
(Bryce) I said this smells like cinnamon, and she thought I said *semen*.
(Ronisha laughs)
(Horizon) I'm sorry! It was a Freudian slip I guess.
(Bryce) Hey, John, what do you think this smells like?
(John) Oh hell no, I'm not smelling that.

(Horizon took a trip to Fort Worth to see her Dad. She was in the computer room on Elftown listening to her iPod on the Bose dock)
(Horizon's dad's wife) Ooh, that sounds pretty. Who is it?
(Horizon) ... Tenacious D.
(Horizon's dad's wife) Hmm...

(Horizon was at work hanging out in the office with a few work buddies.)
*Nick pulled Horizon's Santa hat off*
(Horizon) Noo!! I have hat hair!
*we all laughed, Nick gave me back the hat and hit my shoulder*
(Horizon) Ow!
(Nick) Sorry, didn't mean to hit you so hard.
(Horizon) That's okay. It's the way I like it.
(Nick) Oh my God!
(Horizon-to the girl she'd been training) I'm sorry. You learn quick that some weird people work here.
(Nick) You're being trained by one.
(Horizon) Yep.





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[there's a bluebird in my heart]: Goram, don't say that!!! This year had fucking better be better than last year, or I'm going to go insane.

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: Okay, so I just stayed up all night, and as soon as my mom was awake I started cleaning my room. It took like ... *does mental math* ... *still doing mental math* ... almost five hours, but I finally got it pretty much perfect.

And I got a new desk! You know the crappy ugly one I had forever?? I bought a different kind of crappy, still ugly-ish, but much more matchier for my decor desk at a thrift store. Yay thriftyness! Now all I need is a bookshelf large enough to fit all my books and dvds, and I'll be set!

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: That's true. I really hope its better.

Wow, that's a long time.

Hey, for the sims, isn't there a dresser thing that you can go and get other clothes?

And that one thing that refreshes their bladder and stuff, I can't find it...still...

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: Me too.

I know, but I organized friggin everything, making it uber perfect-ish. Another hour and it will be great, but I've gotten all the OCD out of my system and I really don't feel like cleaning anymore. Still looks pretty.

Yeah, it's a cherry wood dresser, and I think I got it at modthesims2.com. The inSIMinator is my favorite hack, it sort of does most of everything. Refreshes needs, you can buy clothes, do makeovers and facelifts, change age, make pregnant, all that jazz. I haven't been able to access the site that has that in a long time, and I don't know if it's gone forever or what, but I can email you a copy of the file I already downloaded, with some instructions and a guide for what goes where and what it does. I'll have to do that tomorrow though.

I missed work today. I've been sick since Sunday. On the one hand, I'm glad that I had another free day, because I got some good writing done, but I'm going to be sad my next paycheck :(

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: OCD? Ohh, nevermind, I GET IT! lol

Ok, that would be totally great. Cause I'm getting tired of constantly having to feed them and making them go pee and all that stuff.

Yeah, dood, I'm still sick. Its not as bad as it was, but holy shit. I do have a doctors appointment tomorrow though. So hopefully we can get this taken care of!

OMFG! Ok, so I told you about the Santa's Helper job right? I was supposed to start working with the boss lady in charge of that on post, I think I told you about that one too. Anyways, I was supposed to start that job Tuesday. I couldn't remember what time she told me to be there, so I called Tuesday morning early, and then she was like, Ohh, I don't want you to come work for me. I spent like, 2 weeks thinking that I was going to have a job to go back to (because the army took a whole break from Christmas to New Years), when she could have told me while I was still working out at the santa thing, and she just let me...omg, I was so pissed. So now I'm looking for another job. I'm so mad, but the job I'm trying to get right now pays better, so I'm hoping I get it.

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: Ok, so I've looked everywhere for the inSIMinator, and apparently it got its own site...that doesn't have it...nor anything else. I still haven't found it, so I would seriously appreciate it if you sent it to me! I'd like, love you for forever, not that I already wouldn't. I haven't been able to find the dresser either.

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: lol Dumdum.

I know, I hate taking care of the sims! :P Is your email still the same??

Shit, that sucks.

Wow, that lady's a bitch. Good luck finding one. I need a new job. Fuck I hate the place I work at. And love it. But I hate it!!

Okay, I did a bit of digging - here is the link to download the InSim. I always use the OBJ version.

http://www.insimenator.org/index.php?PHPSESSID=7244003a2d384acd24dc8f81db97919c&topic=100226.0

And here is the link to a newer mod. Apparently, the InSim has become unsupported, so there will be no more updates or anything. This new one, the Sim Blender, does a lot of the stuff the InSim does, but I'm still sticking with the InSim, unless the Sim Blender expands to include more fun shit.

http://www.simbology.com/smf/index.php/topic,20.0.html

I found out who made the dresser, but these two other modders made it better. It's now a coat hook, but you get the clothes for FREE and shit, so yay.

http://www.modthesims2.com/download.php?t=225251

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: Lol I know.

Yesh, wait, which one? You know, just e-mail me at mrmrslafuente@yahoo.com.

She was a bitch. I hated her. So it was ok with me that I wasn't going to work with her, I just hate that I have to find another job.

Sweet, thanks! Omg, I love you!!!

So then the coat hook is better, right?

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: :D

The ktnkat8. I'll add that other one to my address book, but since I gave you the links I really don't need to email you anyway :P

Yeah, it's not a good time to have to find a job.

lol You're welcome.

Yes, the coat hook is better. It lets you buy clothes for free, change clothes, and plan outfits. Of course, on the chair of the InSim OBJ version, there's a spawn function, and you can spawn a stack of clothes that do that too, except with the inSim you have to pay for the clothes.

ZOMG You know how we have tile in my house? Baby and Bishy are chasing each other around playing, and Baby was trying to run, but her feet kept slipping, so it was like a cartoon, she just kept running in place for a few seconds before she finally got it. LOL

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: Yeah, i still have that one. Dood. I have problems when I download the stuff. i had to download extra stuff to download the stuff. AND, once I downloaded the stuff from the links, it wouldn't let me get on the sims.

I know, we went over the the place on post that military wives can go to to get a job, and there were so many people there.

Yeah. Have you tired the blender? Cause I'm thinking that one of those three might have messed up my thing, I'm just not sure which one. i can't even do anything on my actual desktop. I have to use my laptop to place the sims, which might be part of it.

HAHAHA omg, that's funny. Whenever we were home, Daisy and Brandy were running around everywhere, and omg, they couldn't do it either. They were slipping and tripping all over themeselves. It's so funny.

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: Dood, where does the coat hook go when you download it? Cause I think my blonde stupidity is kicking in cause I can never find it. But I also had to uninstall everything and now I'm reinstalling stuff little by ltitle to make sure it works.

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: ...? Delete everything you downloaded, and I'll email you the files you need.

Yeah, apparently a lot of people had the same problem you had. This girl who used to work at Hastings, then quit, and now works there again said that her husband had this job, and they made it sound like he'd keep working there after Christmas, but then they said it was just a seasonal job.

No. I use InSim.

The coat hook should be in with all the dressers. You unzip/unrar and put everything into your EA Games/Sims 2/Downloads folder, right?

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: Yeah. I couldn't get on Sims at all afterwords of everything.

Really? See, I knew that mine was a seasonal job, but the whole time I was working she kept telling me that she wanted me to come and work at the place on post with her. The whole month and a half that I was working there, she told me she wanted me and the other girl she hired to. But not once during that time, nor the 2 weeks after did she tell me she didn't want to. I had to call her. But whatever, I'm over it.

Yeah, but I had to download some...qexpress thing or whatever to do it, but now that wont work. So i installed everything and I'm going to leave it alone for a little while and try again later.

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: That sucks. It should be fine once you get back to just the downloads you had before, and then the two files I'm sending shouldn't mess it up. Er...do you have the University EP??

Wow, bitchy. Oh well. That's the way this job thing goes sometimes.

I don't use qexpress. You should get rid of that too. When I download things, they're always in either .rar or .zip, and I download them all to one file, then after a while, I go to that file, select all the .rars and .zips, right click and select 'Extract Here.' Then I delete the .rars and .zips, and move the .package files left to the downloads folder. I used to have qexpress and clean installer, but honestly this is simpler.

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: No, just uhh...nightlife and umm...celebration.

Yeah, its pretty stupid.

See, i tried doing that whenever I first got the sims, but none of it worked. So I went through to make sure I was doing it right, and I was. Then, they were like, if it didn't work, you gotta get this and this. So then it took me to this rar website, but that things stupid and doesn't work either. So then I looked more into it and there was the qexpress thing. And that was working up until I tried to use the insim and coat hook thing.

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: I think the InSim UV will work for you. I don't remember if UV stands for University version or something else. Worth a try.

Yeah, I don't have RAR or winzip. Rar works when you open the actual compressed file, it just tells you every time that it's a free trial. It should work for you to right click 'extract here'.

Did you install the files I emailed to you?

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: Ok, well I'll try it and see what happens.

See, I tried it first on my desktop that way, and it was like, saying that there was no such file, at all.

Yeah.

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: When you download things, does the file look like a regular folder with a zipper on it?

The actual .package files that go in the downloads folder will show up as 'no file found' if you click on them.

This is hard. I'm trying to help, but without seeing the problem I don't know what to do except guess at what the problem is.

Have you tried the Help section at http://thesims2.ea.com/ ? Maybe there will be something there that would explain everything. Or the Game Help section at modthesims2.com

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: Yeah. It does, and it does that too. But then when I put it in the downloads folder with the sims, it won't show up in the game.

I've tried the modthesims2.com Help, and that's what brought me to the qexpress.

But omg! I am so pissed right now. I'm so pissed that i want to cry, but can't. Hector's acting like he did in highschool, and when i brought it up, he went all anal. OMG! I could....ugh!!!!

[there's a bluebird in my heart]: Does any downloaded file not work in your game?

Yeah, qexpress was developed by people there. It never really worked for me. Are you sure you're downloading stuff for the right expansion packs? If you only have nightlife, some of the stuff might require additional EPs.

I'm sorry that its not working for you, and really sorry that Hector's being that way. Did you tell him that his behavior upset you? I spent all day today alphabetizing the relationship books, and for fun (and because I'm a total slacker) I read this one called 'Men, Love, and Sex' and it has questions asked by women with answers taken from a survey of hundreds of men. It had great tips, I might buy it. Or no, I'll just read it next time work is slow. Anyway, it had all these tips on preventing fights, which I thought would be great for me because I fought all the time with Nick, and clear communication with 'I' messages (as in 'I feel upset when you say shit like that' as opposed to 'You are a dick when you say shit like that') were rated as one of the best ways to clear up and prevent arguments. And Hector...he's difficult. But I admire your devotion to him. When I hear he's treating you poorly, I just wanna smack him into gentlemenhood. Huh. That's totally not a word. Gentlemanhood? Nope. Gentle manhood just sounds dirty. :P I got off track...

Just to clarify - you unzipped the InSim I emailed you, put the .package file in your Sims 2/Downloads folder, and when you started the game it wasn't there? In buy mode, sorted by function, electronics, and click on the sideways 8? Because when I first got it, I couldn't find it and didn't know why until I checked there.

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ]: Nope. Yeah, I make sure that its for the right expansion packs. I might try again here in a little bit.

Its ok. I'll get everything straight eventually. Is it really that good? Now I might have to read it. How many books are in the Twilight series?

Yeah, I unzipped, put it in downloads, and when I looked, nothing.

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