The eighth battle of Round One, the [Magus Ferox] BattleArena Tournament.
Back to the Standings

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Member Name: [Magus Ferox]
Race: Elf
Age: 300-ish, hell, I don't keep track.
Height: 5'8"
Weight: pfft!
Class: Magus, Sword Saint
Equipment: DuDethax, poisonstrike short sword, face rippers.
Special Abilites: Master of the Fine Art of Bullshit.

Member Name: [Canthlian]
Race: Human.... probably.
Age: We forget.
Height: 5'11"
Weight: Whatever he wants it be.
Class: Mage/Fighter/Perversion Central.
Equipment: Staff, Weapon for-- oh, Hell, just look at his character sheet in my house.
Special Abilites: See above. :P

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In a shower of light, and a sound that sounds vaguely like a million people moaning orgasmically at once, Canth appears in the arena, quarterstaff at the ready. "Right! Time to get martial on your ass, Ferox!"

Ferox steps into the arena, briefly wondering when Canth decided to get so energetic.

"Haha! Prepare to face thy doom! Or alternatively, a cream pie." On this note, Canth slings his staff around his head, slinging several magically made cream pies off the end of it in Ferox's direction.

Ferox hesitates too long, and gets a face full of creamy white stuff. >.>

"Haha! And the Ferox creature gets pied!" Slinging some strawberry jam to top it off, Canth backflips to land on his staff. "Bring it on, cakey!"

Ferox raises an eyebrow, digs around in her massive purse, then finds a couple of cans of whipped cream. She shakes them up real good and tries to hose Canth down with them.

Canth scampers across the floor of the arena, pausing for a moment to grab some of the whipped cream and eat it. "Nice! An flavoured. I'll take a dozen."

Halfway curious about what her brother tastes like, she directs the nozzle into her mouth and eats a squirt. "Humm.. Does he usually taste like whipped cream? Wonder how that happened." She eyeballs Canth suspiciously, then tosses him his own can of An Cream. Aiming for the center of his forehead.

Canth grabs the can out of the air and sticks it in his pocket, to turn into a sex toy later. >.>

Ferox chuckles, figuring he'd do as much. She magicks up An's Future Wedding Cake and throws it at him.

Canth telekinetically stops the cake, examines it, and replaces the "two grooms holding hands" thing on top, with a "An and Canth having public sex" thing before flinging it back at Ferox.

Ferox ducks, and it whizzes overhead, splats into a nearby wall. "Well ain't that prophetic."

Counting down the seconds on his watch, Canth shoots back, "Well, we were always an explosive combination. Three, two DUCK!"

*BOOM!*

Ferox ducks as the cake explodes, splattering her cape with icing. "Niiice.." She grins at the random destruction.

Canth sneaks up behind the Ferox admiring the destruction and teps her on the shoulder. "And effective." Canth quickly pulls back and throws a whopper punch as Ferox turns.

Ferox goes wide eyed as the fist flies, then
twists at the last second, getting just barely clipped in the nose by a knuckle. "Fist fight, eh? Me and Nay threw down like this a while back.." Ferox says, jumping backward. Once a safe distance away, she rips off her gloves, and the face rippers off the back of her hands as well. "Wouldn't wanna hurt ya, sugar.." She says, as she lunges forward, with an uppercut aimed at Canth's jaw.

Canth uses his Amazing Agility -- and a little bit of luck -- to flip backwards out of the way of the pucnjh, jam his feet into Ferox's chest for velocity, and land rolling a few feet away. "Don't worry. I can take care of myself."

Ferox pauses to cough as the air is knocked outta her lungs, "Good to hear that, darlin." She mutters, chasing after him and swinging out at him with a low kick as he rolls across the Arena floor, kicking sand up into the air..

Canth goes "Oof!" as Ferox's kick collides with his currently sore ass. "Bitch! That hasn't recovered from An last night!"

Ferox suddenly gets the compulsion to go wash her foot in boiling water, but instead presses her advantage to spin around and deliver another kick to his chest..

Canth grabs Ferox's foot as it flies towards him, stops it, and turns it until he hears a loud crack.

Ferox grits her teeth, twists with the twisting of her broken ankle, then jumps and brings her other heel into Canthlian's nose.

"OW!" Canth pulls his hand up to his nose and rubs it. "Dabit! You bwoke it!" Pulling back his arm, he bitchslaps Ferox.

Ferox staggers back onto her good foot, "Fucker! You BROKE MY ANKLE!! Think I give a shit about breaking your NOSE?!" She moves to slam a palm into the swollen area that was once his nose.

Canth dodges to the side of Ferox's blow and grabs some mud that happened to be lying on the ground. Flinging it wildly at Ferox, he screeches like a queen.

Ferox doesn't mind getting splattered with mud, because she's too busy rolling around on the floor and laughing.

Canth slips up in the mud that is suddenly covering the entire floor of the arena. Lifting up his hand to adjust hisi featherhat, he looks for a napkin in his handbag. Glancing up at Ferox, he cringes. "Oh, dear, that pink handbag with those silver sparkles? No, no, NO darling!"

Ferox is momentarily bewildered, because she is indeed suddenly wearing a tacky cocktail dress and toting about a pink handbag. But she's too busy laughing her ass off at Canthlian's garb to really care.

"Here, I think I have something to fix it..." Canth rummages in his purse pulling out, among other things, a stick of Raspberry Beret lipstick, some lacy underwear, and a can of gold spraypaint. "Ah! I knew this was in here. A couple of sprays of this will have your handbag fixed up in no time!"

Ferox just laughs at him.

Hhoal pops into the arena, squints at her two friends, a Drag Queen and a Drag Queen wannabe. She sighs looking at the two of them, "Well Dearys, I hate to admit, but you both look horrible," she says laughing, "Okay, I don't hate to admit it, I bask in the opportunity to take snapshots," she laughs evilly and does so. Then swallows the film. with a grin she pulls out her mini tv and rewinds the fight as she turns her back to them and watches it with her popcorn. After pushing the antenna back in she spins on her foot and grins, "Strange fellers ya are I must admit, but look who's talking," she laughs and buckets of chocolate syrup fall upon their heads and Hhoal throws some feathers at them to give the full affect, "That's for the forced blows each of ye made," she reprimands, "But!! Alas!! Canthlian, congrats, ye won with 10 points above Magus's score, now what ye do with those 10 points extra is anyone's guess, and where you go, I have no clue, but GOOD JOB!!"

Canthlian goes "HEE!" and does a little dance, mildly hampered by his high heels and long skirt.

Ferox applauds, "Way to go, sugar buns. Take you and your Prada purse and head into RoundTwo#4."

Hhoal licks some chocolate sauce off of her hand..."Hmm, I want that purse..."