2017-03-09 [font]: Oh how this place has changed but seems so familar. 

2017-03-09 [Mortified Penguin]: Bob's Diner should seem familiar; I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU TO GO THERE FOR TWELVE YEARS NOW.

2017-03-26 [font]: Haha! 12 years wow :p

2017-03-27 [Mortified Penguin]: Uh huh... uh huh... *eats ramen*... *slowly reaches for his hatchet*...

2017-03-27 [Viking]: *steals the hatchet*

2017-03-27 [Mortified Penguin]: Hey, that's a nifty hatchet! I have one just like it.

*continues slowly reaching toward where his hatchet used to be*

*eats some more ramen in the meantime*

2017-03-29 [font]: you do know hatchets are sharp and dangerous!

2017-10-15 [AdamTheChespin]: Hello ghost town chat.

2017-10-15 [Mortified Penguin]: Hello, unsuspecting rube. Have you heard about all the great deals Bob's Diner is having this week?

2017-12-08 [Infested_Zling]: Please tell me more Mort

2017-12-08 [Mortified Penguin]: NO!

2018-01-23 [Infested_Zling]: god damnit mort! Always holdin out! I want them Deals and i want them now!

2018-01-23 [Mortified Penguin]: NEVER! Our deals are a closely guarded secret. I would sooner die than reveal that our new turnip flavored slug sticks are now only $29.99!

2018-03-28 [brecht]: Hi, maybe ten yrs ago i saw this painting on elfwood called 'fire red', by mary catherine gutfleisch. Its got a dragons neck and head in it, not much else. I would really like to see it again! Could i get help on my quest of finding this image, or the artist to ask them if they can show it again pls pls, on the wide world of internet?

2018-03-28 [brecht]: -i cannot get into elfwood.com and am a total noob not knowing whats up with that. Am i the only one? Or did something happen to EW?

2018-03-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Her: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2518980/ ?

2018-03-29 [Mortified Penguin]: If so, I think this is her Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mary.gutfleisch

2018-03-29 [Mortified Penguin]: As for Elfwood, I think it died. As for Bob's Diner, GO THERE. COMMENT NOW. GREAT DEALS!!! *smashes [font] with a chair*

2018-03-29 [Paul Doyle]: I don't think Elfwood is going to reopen any time soon. I sure wish those who ran the site last (after Thomas Abrahamsson), have the grace to briefly reopen the site so the writers/artists could reclaim their stuff, and then come forward and admit the obvious: Elfwood is dead and gone. Then they ought to shut it down forever.

2018-03-30 [brecht]: Awww thats sad! Why? And thank, mort. I sent her a message.

2018-03-30 [Mortified Penguin]: Now go eat at Bob's Diner.