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Page name: Bob's Diner [Logged in view] [RSS]
2019-08-08 20:40:36
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<img250*0:stuff/aj/11111/bobsdiner.png>
(Formerly Chuck's)


Abandon all outside food and drinks, ye who enter here.


a limerick, by [Mortified Penguin]
.........Welcome to Bob's Diner,
ain't no place finer!
The food is good,
we're always in tha 'hood,
and [Sagacious Turkey] is a whiner!

<img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/b.gif><img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/o.gif><img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/b.gif><img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/s.gif> <img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/d.gif><img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/i.gif><img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/n.gif><img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/e.gif><img:http://www.wobshite.co.uk/b3ta/letters/ransom/r.gif>


As seen in [iippo]'s diary!
This wiki sponsored in part by the [Sunrose] Does Not Suck committee
and the [pixish] art committee



<img:http://elftown.com/stuff/aj/44884/1414522632.png>
by [Teufelsweib]
<img:stuff/b.GIF.gif>


Menu:
Show content


<img:stuff/aj/11111/bobsdinersml.png>

|Da menyou|


<img150*0:stuff/aj/11111/bobsdinerspecial.png>

'If you are what you eat, then we're easy, fast and cheap!'
 

Don't see sumthin ya like on da menu? Well, add to it!

<img:stuff/b.GIF.gif>


Breakfast


1. Shakin' Bacon $1.50
2. Godzilla Eggs $1.20
3. Hash Browns $1.00
4. Hash Greens $1.00
5. Texas toast (this isn't really from texas) $2.00
6. French Toast (This isn't actually from France either) $3.50
7. French Fries (nope, still not from france...) $1.50
8. French Bread (NOT FROM FRANCE!!!) $1.25
9. French Wine (not from France exactly... it might have fallen off a truck,... but i don't know anything *whistles innocently*)
10. Mortified News-Paper-Colored-Breakfast-Sandwich $2.50

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Lunch



1. Bob's special of the day: Sun. grilled cheese, Mon. leg of lamb, Tues. leg of bob, Wed. something we found on the street, Thurs. hamburger, Fri. tacos we stole from Taco Bell, Sat. you don't want to know. $4.19
2. hamburger & fries $4.00
3. uncooked ham (a live pig) $10.24
4. a bowl of fresh lard $3.49
5. Texas toast (this isn't really from Texas) $2.00
6. think of the nastiest thing you've ever seen or smelled... nope, nastier... yup thats it! $5.99
7. raw chicken liver with a dog drool sauce. $7.82
8. La Ham and cheese $2.30
9. Bob's Mama $1 an hour
10. Garfield's mama $0.50 an hour
11. sirloin $6.00
12. Sir. Loin (some British guy) £6.00
13. boiled Chef Zef $0.99
14. 3-legged lamb - whole: $10.00/ each leg: $2.00
15. fried Alley Gator $5.00
16. Plain poodle: $3.00/ Extra crispy poodle: $3.50
17. Poo Stew $2.25
18. Mashed taters and dressed up alligators $5.50
19. Woops, I sneezed... Oh well, might as well put it to good use... "snot sandwich" $1.25
20. Roasted n00b $4.00
21. Bloody Rock $1.50
22. Flattened road kill squirrel $4.75
23. Fresh n00b with blood croutons $4.50
24. [Shaggy13]'s soup $1.12
25. Turkey Jerkey $0.50
26. A Jerkey Turkey $5.00
27. YO MOMMA with a side of fries and a large soda $0.00
28. [Rolo]'s special: Mouse burger and french flies all for just $2.50
29. [Blvd. of broken dreams]'s Acid Kisses free to try then 4 easy payments of $19.95 to buy!!!!
30.
31. Micheal Jackson's nose $10.75
32. elf on the cob $5.50/whole elf $9.25
33. [spitfire_35121]'s mole 500,000.00
34. An Orange Chicken ¥300.00
35. Ground beef Carl $3.25
36. The Deep Fried Moose Combo $6.99
37. [sara(:]'s kitty.......$o.ooo9 per hour..
38. viagra pill $300
39. gobbler....?
40. a big fat bowl of ramen ¥800.00
41. hootchie cootchie $2.00
42. Burgers from McDonald's $1.00
43. Make Your Own Road Kill (Brought to you by MatchBox) $ 6.90
44. Deep Fried Squirrel Quesadilla $ 1.50
45. Eel Burger (it's shockingly delicious!) $3.4¾ (WARNING: Eel Burger may kill consumer. We are not responsible. Blame the eels!)

46. Selfish Shellfish Soufflé $4.99 (plus tip!)
47.All the grief, horror, madness,[Lethan] and opium-addled reverie you can shake a Victorian gentleman's walking stick at for a mere $5
48. [Eloura]'s Busted gut still fresh and good, for a nere (and this is a SALE people) $9.99
49. [Duke Devlin]'s Small Bacon Bit Babies. They are a delious bacony treat for any meal. $15,999.99 It's a real steal deal kids!
50. [Araglas]'s Zombie body food, just ask, it's good, and very fresh! Only $5.99!
51. All you can eat: [HardRockAngel]'s little brother: an endless supplie of meat. $12.99

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Appetizers


1. half a cracker $1,000,000
2. Bloody Rock $1.50
3. [sara(:]'s (very little) Brain $2.00
4. [Fallen Child Athena]'s Foamy the Squirrel $5000.00 ((i stole him hahahahahaha))
5. [Mortified Penguin]'s intelligence (not a very big meal...) $0.25
6. Slice of maggot cheese $1.50
7. Cooked Sushi $4.50
8. Tumble Weed $1,000.01
9. [Fallen Child Athena]'s "happy crack".......$1.50((its weed))
10. Bowl of tears $.50
11. Crickets (a bowl full) $0.50
12. "Eye Rolls" $1.50
13. Corn on the toes $1.50
14. cooked sushi $2.00
15. Big, huge, throbbing, hot, juicy... breadsticks! $DAH.LER
16. [Mortified Penguin]'s ashes $Free to try $39.95 to buy
17. [Blvd. of broken dreams]'s leg (stays fresh for about a month) hehe jr., i told you!!!1
17. Military Intelligence (not much there) $9,999 {brought in by [Fallen Child Athena])
19. Fresh squeezed hangover from [Evolution X]
20. Ganondorf's Noodly Appendage (note: not big enough to be considered full meal) $4.00
21. Peanuts of Pathos $free with the purchase of a drink (In loving memory of our dear old friend, [Paul Doyle].)
22. Flagon of Dragon Lotion. Not sure what to make of this, frankly. It's not really a drink . . . have this with Peanuts of Pathos, perhaps? Do you have what it takes to consume this? I'm not sure I do.
23. [Mortified Penguin]'s head on a fake cheap silver platter.
24. Blubber nuggets, made with the finest whale blubber in the world! (YUM!) $100.00

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Dinner


1. [Mortified Penguin]'s squeegey $0.10
2. DUSTIN'S MAMA and a condom......we'll pay you...take it,we don't want "it".....
3. Sasmooko's Shoe $1.75
4. A leg $Shoot something, or someone
5. [Fallen Child Athena]'s bunny rabbit..........$1.50
6. The "lame-@$$-mo'-frickin'-gay-infested-puppy-hating-country-o'-france" Special. (May include: French toast, french fries, french bread, french vanilla, french dressing, a lovely french dipping sauce, and a sexy lonely french woman that likes to french kiss) $19.95 if you order in the next ten minutes! ...plus shipping and handling...
7. [Evolution X]'s famous Spaghetti and eyeballs.
8. A Big Freakin' Bowl of Ramen $0 (Free for Mort, everyone else gets charged a mandatory $10 tip for the waiter)
9.Ugly stack of papers with protective cover. Looks to have been dropped into a beef broth by a sad, worn out, uncreative idiot. Yarg. (munches on a news-paper-colored-breakfast-sandwich) $2.00
10.Gammon with Fluff & gravy =] $0
11.Not so fresh puppy €7.00 (Other than brown colored +¥5.28)
12. [Scarekrow]'s Harden the fuck up special (with your choise of fist to the face or foot to the ass)................$25.00
13. Chuck Norris Stew with a side of sucker-punch and piss-in-your-pants. Priceless

<img:stuff/b.GIF.gif>


Dessert


1. brownie-a-la-mode $2.00
2. crap-a-la-commode $2.00
3. artichoke pie $1.50
4. "cheese cake" (literally made of cheese) $1.75
5. Iced ice $0.50
6. Glazed rocks $0.75
7. Punkin Pie (full of fresh baked punks...) $2.00
8. Rake Cake (wanna do something special for your hard working rake for it's birthday? get this!) $1.75
9. n00b-a-la-blood $2.00
10. "Cow Pie" $2.00
11. [Phil Crooked]'s manhood $9,999,999,999.50
12. [Phil Crooked]'s manhood, FROSTED, $2
13. "apple sauce" $1
14. [nokaredes]'s old cast $how much you got?
15. [ikkle sid] for the night chocolate sauce included 4 all u randy twats lol ... $1,000,000,000
16. [Archeress of Mirkwood]'s liver flavored ice cream $2.50
17. [Archeress of Mirkwood]'s chocolate flavored moth-balls $1.75 per box
18. Bert and Ernie's every flavor spleens... er... I mean... beans. $1.00 per box
19.[bluefairy27]'s deadly blow fish surprise.$3.50
20. [Evolution X]'s Eskimo pie (from real eskimos)
21. Pink, fluffy and tasty Watapon (Warning: Not really tasty)
22. Vasturcro, free! (plus $20 in taxes, $35 for the food, which is $65, totaling out to $127)
23. Sweet, cherry, and pied crow pie, $2.33

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Drinks


1. anything we can liquefy in the blender $1.00
2. snot $1.00

(smaller gap)

3. urine $1.00
4. "mystery meat juice" $1.00
5. liquid lard $1.00
6. [Fallen Child Athena]'s special "coffee" $1.95
7. goat milk $1.00
8. watered down tea $1.00
9. Turkey Milk $1.00
10. A Pint of Blood $0.50
11. A Quart of Blood $1.00
12. Goblet Of Blood On The Rocks $2.50
13. Rat Milk $1.00
14. Snow Coco $1.00
15. Hot, steaming cup of Coffee $1.00 (per cup)
16. Liquid ice $2.50 per pound
17. A "booty" shake $6.66
18. From the makers of Granny's Bunyan Creme and Granny's Homegrown Arsenic... we bring you... Granny's Hard Rubbing Alcohol! Not only does it get you hammered more than a nail, but it also helps heal your internal cuts! (WARNING: Granny's Hard Rubbing Alcohol will NOT heal your internal cuts. In fact, it may make them worse. We are not responsible for any injuries and/or death. Blame Granny!) $Depends on how "under the influence" you are.
19.something [Lethan] squeezed out of a brick
20. An Epic Fail (Brought in by Veari)
21. Tead down water(purified) $50.00
22. Special Equestrian "Mayonnaise" Smoothie



<img:stuff/b.GIF.gif>



Bob's Diner Status Report: <hide>

Bob's Diner Status Report

All numbers and stats are approximate and lead to irregularities when double checking, due to faulty math and [Elftron] screwing with wiki comments and information sometimes. Don't blame us. Blame [Hedda].

       

Year
04/05
05/06
06/07
07/08
08/09
09/10
10/11
11/12
12/13
13/14
14/15
15/16
16/17
17/18


Comments
9709
3870
3065
5676
4309
2879
5259
1697
0984
0756
0394
0177
0384
1677


Average
26.6 cpd
10.6 cpd
08.4 cpd
15.5 cpd
11.8 cpd
07.9 cpd
14.4 cpd
04.7 cpd
02.7 cpd
02.1 cpd
01.1 cpd
00.5 cpd
01.1 cpd
04.6 cpd



Total Comments
09709
13579
16644
22320
26666
29545
34804
36501
37484
38240
38634
38839
39223
40900



Total Average
26.6 cpd/9709 cpy
18.6 cpd/6789 cpy
15.2 cpd/5548 cpy
15.3 cpd/5580 cpy
14.6 cpd/5333 cpy
13.5 cpd/4924 cpy
13.6 cpd/4972 cpy
12.5 cpd/4563 cpy
11.4 cpd/4165 cpy
10.5 cpd/3824 cpy
09.6 cpd/3512 cpy
08.9 cpd/3237 cpy
08.3 cpd/3017 cpy
08.0 cpd/2921 cpy


Until The End of the Friscal Year and the Next Status Report


Since The End of the Last Friscal Year


Since B's D's Founding
</hide>

Friscal Reports:
Show content

   Next Friscal Report:

Total: An unknown, futuristic XXXXX

Future paragraphs.




   Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 39223

Paragraphs.




   Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 38839

Paragraphs.




   Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 38634

Paragraphs.




   Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 38240

Paragraphs.




   Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 37484

Paragraphs.




   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A(n) adjective 36501

Paragraphs.




   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A settling, halfsome 34804

As we all know, Bob's Diner has a comment based economy. As comment averages rise, Bob's Diner prospers. When they fall, Bob's Diner slips into a violent depression and has thoughts of suicide. It often cries itself to sleep at night, wondering how it's going to feed its 27 children. So, you can clearly see why the more comments you make, the better off we are and the less I'll hate you.

With that in mind, this year was certainly better than last year, but not nearly as better as the year before the year before last year, which is the best except for the one that was better which was the year before the year before that. Following this trend, we can predict that next year, the year following this year, will be the year that comes after this year. However, as this year is already over, we've already entered into the new year, meaning that this year isn't this year but last year and next year is this year, not the year after this year. So, with this other stuff I just said in mind, I suspect that, since this year is now this year, not next year, the comments will continue steadily trending upward, unless they don't. Realistically speaking though, and following the current data, the comment average will take a two year nose dive into the worst recession we've seen yet before going back up in 14/15.

So, the comments were alright this year. But, why weren't they alrighter? It was likely because of two bannings of members that were previously highly productive commenters: Artsie and Mystin. They will be missed. Not really though. In other news, CEO, international sex superstar, and self-proclaimed CEO, [Mortified Penguin], will be stepping down as manager today and stepping up some stairs. That lead to the manager's office. Where he will be crowned manager. Also, [Nioniel] stole our 'i'.

(This has been a vaguely worded announcement by a guy typing things.)


   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: An unsettling, unwholesome 29545

More Obama related mishaps have taken quite a toll on Bob's Diner this year. That, coupled with [53406] as manager, has resulted in 1430 less comments than last year. Which brings the average number of comments for the friscal year to a miserable 7.9 a day and the average for all time down to 13.5 a day. We've determined the cause of the missing 37 comments from 07/08 to be homicide. Police are investigating the contents of Misty's stomach in hopes of finding remains. So far, nothing but rat skeletons and bear feces has turned up.

No new members for the entire year (that I know of. I haven't really checked, I'm just assuming). Likely Misty's fault. In this past friscal year, B's D has apparently become /b/'s D. Our big 'B' will be missed.

For this upcoming friscal year, I will be taking over as manager once more (until it becomes apparent that the numbers will be down, at which point I will hand ownership back to Turkey). I plan to run this Diner the way it was meant to be run... straight into the ground. First off, budget cuts everywhere! No more of this "getting Christmas off to be with family" nonsense. Workers will now work 367 days a year or be fired (at)(with bazookas).

(This has been a public dis-service announcement from CEO and self-proclaimed sexual offender, [Mortified Penguin].)


   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: A nice, wholesome 26666.

So, we never did find out what happened to those poor, unfortunate 37 comments. They will be missed. This friscal year, we had a disappointing 4309 comments. The lower number is speculated to be the fault of Obama, the recession, and, of course, Misty. Though it wasn't as good as last year's or the 04/05 year, it's still better than the dismal period from 2005 to 2007. The 08/09 numbers are still a pretty decent accomplishment, considering Elftown's sharp decline in members.

In this passing friscal year, we (and by 'we' I mean 'I') have managed to get a whole bunch of new members and casual visitors... thanks to good ol' fashion spamming. Speaking of meat byproducts, the Diner is now under [53406]'s control once more, meaning that he's the one that should be held responsible for the poor friscal report! ...Get 'im! ...*eats ramen*...

(This has been a public service announcement from ex-CEO and casual rapist, [Mortified Penguin].)


   Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Previous Friscal Report:

Total: 22320 (though it should be 22357!)


This leaves some 37 missing comments. It is Bob's Diner's top priority to find these missing comments and bring them home safely.

Thanks to the brilliant leadership of [Mortified Penguin], Bob's Diner has had it's second best year yet! We nearly doubled those comments from last year and even brought B's D out of it's depression. So remember... support the Ramen Party and Bob's Diner in the next friscal (that's right! friscal!) year... every comment counts. (This has been a public service announcement from CEO, Mortified Penguin.)







Previous B's D

Username (or number or email):

Password:

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: I'm bored of this...

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Crow! Finish making 20 comments for me!

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Ugh, maybe two more...

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: There... NOW SOMEBODY ELSE DEAL WITH IT.

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Okay, ONE more...

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Good enough for now...

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Hmm... Almost there... Might as well finish...

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: <img:stuff/aj/92105/1559004876.jpg>

2019-05-28 [Mortified Penguin]: <img300*0:stuff/aj/92105/1559004936.jpg>

2019-05-29 [Pied Crow]: Looking for beans? Those don't look like pigeons.

2019-05-29 [Skonk]: I'm a stinky sissy skunk >;3

2019-05-29 [Skonk]: <img500*0:stuff/aj/194867/1559166678.jpg>

2019-05-29 [Mortified Penguin]: Hey! It's that skunk I'm dating!

2019-05-29 [Skonk]: Yassss <3

2019-05-29 [Mortified Penguin]: <img300*0:stuff/aj/92105/1559167541.jpg>

2019-05-29 [Mortified Penguin]: NOW GO SERVE TABLE #6. THEY'VE BEEN WAITING ON THEIR SALADS FOR SIX YEARS NOW. *throws a bale of hay at Skonk and points at the stables*

2019-05-30 [Pied Crow]: Hey, I already saw that image! Two different people can't post the same image in two different places... I must know this skunk already! Even though the speech pattern is different!

2019-06-01 [Nuktae-tal]: Crow you know people?!

2019-06-02 [Pied Crow]: Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? I'm not quite sure if it's true, myself.

2019-06-02 [Mortified Penguin]: Pretty sure you're just talking to spam bots.

2019-06-02 [Pied Crow]: That couldn't be true! Someone who offers me to write my free essay can't be a bot!

2019-06-17 [Mortified Penguin]: *flips a table*

2019-06-17 [Yuriona]: *flips it back*

2019-06-17 [Sheamus Finn]: *back flips a table*
*Waits for applause*

2019-06-17 [Pied Crow]: *gives a thumbs up*

2019-06-17 [Mortified Penguin]: *flips your thumb*

2019-06-18 [Nuktae-tal]: *thumb flips*

2019-06-18 [Nuktae-tal]: *with flair*

2019-06-18 [Pied Crow]: WHAT THUMBS?!?!?
Sorry, Angie. I meant feather. Or...the far end of my wing?

2019-06-22 [Yuriona]: *flips the far end of [Pied Crow]'s wing*

2019-06-22 [Pied Crow]: Much better! ... Sorry, Shamus.

2019-07-06 [Pied Crow]: ... Is it bad this is the most active place I have that at least somewhat accepts macro talk?

2019-07-06 [Nuktae-tal]: Hahahha this is fun!

2019-07-06 [Mortified Penguin]: *Godzilla pats your head... Into the ground*

2019-07-06 [Pied Crow]: Awww, sweetie, you shouldn't have!

2019-07-07 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1562534890.jpg>

2019-07-07 [Foxy Shazam]: There should be a bobs diner discord server.

2019-07-08 [Pied Crow]: No way, Foxy! Then Mort-bird could make fun of my weird choice in profile pics!

Also, good one, Mort-bird. ... They are kinda...

2019-07-09 [Mortified Penguin]: There's a Bob's Diner Telegram!

2019-07-11 [Pied Crow]: Oh, of course. The alternative to Discord that's existed for years yet somehow no one uses it nearly as much.

2019-07-11 [Pied Crow]: ... So, how wrong am I?

2019-07-11 [Yuriona]: I'm not sure a scale exists that can accurately measure that.

2019-07-11 [Mortified Penguin]: Telegram is nothing but furries and terrorists.

2019-07-13 [Pied Crow]: If that were true, Mort-bird, then wouldn't its chat function be disabled?

2019-07-15 [Mortified Penguin]: Hopefully someday they'll do something about those furries... someday.

2019-07-15 [Yuriona]: Not likely... unless you can get them recognized as a visible minority. >_>

2019-07-16 [Pied Crow]: I did see furries being talked about for a straight two minutes in one of those three-letter agency shows. But, they were talking about them in a positive light. Does that count?

2019-07-27 [Mortified Penguin]: NO.

2019-07-27 [Mortified Penguin]: <img:stuff/aj/92105/1564255594.jpg>

2019-07-27 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1564255626.jpg>

2019-07-28 [Nuktae-tal]: I bet they had an actual good design then Tay came in like bitches my face is my mother fucking face!

2019-07-28 [Nuktae-tal]: Toasty posty!

2019-08-11 [Noxingale]: So many invites... ok, I'm here. What's on the menu?

2019-08-12 [Pied Crow]: How about a crow pie?

2019-08-12 [Noxingale]: Haha is that the special? :P

2019-08-13 [Pied Crow]: Uh! I dunno why I said that, being eaten is disgusting. And, property damage is uncool and expensive! Oh-so expensive!

2019-08-15 [Mortified Penguin]: *backhands Noxingale to the floor* THERE'S ONLY 16 DAYS REMAINING UNTIL THE END OF THE FRISCAL YEAR! COMMENT MORE! *fronthands Noxingale back upright*

2019-08-15 [Mortified Penguin]: *goes back to not commenting for months at a time*

2019-08-15 [Pied Crow]: There you are! I was beginning to wonder if

2019-08-18 [Nuktae-tal]: Why would we comment?!

2019-08-18 [Nuktae-tal]: Also the protein shakes here are totally not filled with bugs.

2019-08-18 [Sheamus Finn]: Wait are those protein shakes?

2019-08-19 [Yuriona]: That's what they're marketed as.

2019-08-19 [Pied Crow]: Oh, sure. And the szechuan sauce is filled with maple syrup.

2019-08-19 [Mortified Penguin]: And the maple syrup is filled with pine syrup.

2019-08-19 [Pied Crow]: But, what's inside the second B in BBQ sauce?

2019-08-19 [Yuriona]: There isn't maple syrup in Szechuan sauce. Not any more anyways. China is mad at Canada because it did what the US said to do, so its just soy sauce with molasses now. Or maybe it was tar...

B is for BEES!!

2019-08-20 [Pied Crow]: No, no, no, b as in bees are b as in bugs, which go into the protein shakes...as mentioned earlier. Do we not keep these things separated?

2019-08-20 [Yuriona]: Bees are Bugs. Why separate them? More is less after all!

2019-08-21 [Pied Crow]: I agree the bees should go into the Szechaun, but I don't think they go into the BBQ!
But, what do I know? I'm just a lowly worker bee... Even though that's not the quote at all...

2019-08-23 [Mortified Penguin]: BEES GO IN YOUR ASS. *unsheathes a funnel*

2019-08-23 [Mortified Penguin]: EIGHT DAYS REMAIN.

2019-08-23 [Mortified Penguin]: <img:stuff/aj/92105/1566561039.jpg>

2019-08-25 [Pied Crow]: :(

2019-08-26 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1566817979.jpg>

2019-08-26 [Yuriona]: There's nothing worse than a forklift in your throat.

2019-08-27 slamdunkjesus: If they get free milk, then I get free milk. This is not negotiable. I'm open to suggestions.

2019-08-27 [Mortified Penguin]: Oh hey, it's that guy again! SHUT THE HELL UP AND RINSE THESE TURTLES OFF. THIS IS A CAPITALIST DINER, WE DON'T HAND OUT FREE MILK, YOU COMMIE. *angrily slams the bag of turtles onto the floor*

*chain smokes three cigars while counting a stack of gold coins*

2019-08-28 [Pied Crow]: Why are you trying to make me say weird things about chewing up that delicious metal?

2019-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: I prefer the taste of granite. Also... 21 HOURS REMAIN.

2019-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1567210293.jpg>

2019-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1567210339.jpg>

2019-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1567210368.jpg>

2019-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1567210402.jpg>

2019-08-31 [Yuriona]: Someone has some crazy fetishes around here. Or you've started a new ad campaign.

2019-08-31 [Pied Crow]: Mort-bird! Who writes your jokes? They're boffo funny!

2019-09-01 [Mortified Penguin]: DANG IT. IT'S ALREADY TOMORROW IN SWEDEN. This wiki is now more than 15-years-old.

2019-09-02 [Yuriona]: Then it should act its age!

2019-09-02 [Nuktae-tal]: Wow fifteen we are praxtically teenagers!

2019-09-04 [Pied Crow]: How long until we realize the register hasn't been working?

2019-09-04 [Mortified Penguin]: The money sock is busted again?! *starts pulling wires out of the sock and connecting them to other wires*

2019-09-04 [Mortified Penguin]: Happy alleged birthday, disturbing crow monster!

2019-09-04 [Mortified Penguin]: *pours a can of diesel fuel into the sock and pulls the starter cord*

*it revvs up for a second and spits out a thick cloud of black smoke before dying*

Damn it... Pretty sure this thing needs a new motor again... *grabs a machete off the weapon rack and heads down to Home Depot*

2019-09-05 [Pied Crow]: Who the what now? Oh! Thank you, Mort-bird! I'd write your birthday down in my notes, but I don't know how to get your month and day.

2019-09-05 [Yuriona]: Don't get motors from Home Depot. They never last.

2019-09-06 [NukleaЯ EveЯgloW™]: I'm surprised to still see people here :O It's been forever since I've been on this site.

2019-09-07 [Pied Crow]: Better late than never. Now, go make a new motor!

2019-09-18 [Mortified Penguin]: <img:stuff/aj/92105/1568808636.jpg>

2019-09-18 [Yuriona]: You did. You said its your favorite dick box.

2019-09-21 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1569024629.jpg>

2019-09-21 [Mortified Penguin]: I forgot how to get it to fit perfectly into the badge slot without editing the badge slot. But I'm too lazy to fix it...

2019-09-21 [Yuriona]: And I'm too lazy to remove it.

2019-09-21 [Pied Crow]: Why not copy-paste one and edit it?

2019-09-22 [Yuriona]: That would require far too much effort.

2019-09-23 [Mortified Penguin]: To access my badge slot, I have to copy the html from Elfpack and paste it on Elftown and change all the instances of "Elfpack" to "Elftown". And it's funner to sneak it into the badge slot without it being in the badge slot, since in the past, guards would try to remove it, but not know how. Now there is only Yuri, who is highly unprofessional and won't let me provoke her for fun.

2019-09-24 [Pied Crow]: Oh, I see. I wouldn't say it sounds funner, but I do agree it sounds more fun.

2019-09-24 [Yuriona]: I'm professional! Just not here...

2019-09-25 [Mortified Penguin]: MORE FUNNER.

2019-09-26 [Yuriona]: Only your funner, not mine. :P

2019-09-26 [Pied Crow]: l don't think l have any more funner to give you! I'll need a new bit.

2019-10-13 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1571002148.jpg>

2019-10-18 [Pied Crow]: That's cool. I like sweet & sour sauce.

2019-10-24 [Mortified Penguin]: HERETIC!

2019-10-24 [Yuriona]: What about Caesar?

2019-10-25 [Pied Crow]: Ooh, l love King Caesar! He's got a great walk.

2019-10-25 [Sagacious Turkey]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/53406/1572040416.jpg>

2019-10-27 [Yuriona]: I'll take you word for it. :P

2019-10-28 [Pied Crow]: Seeeen it! l have a friend who's a chicken fanatic, the topic's come up before.

2019-11-06 [Paul Doyle]: Didn't King Caesar get his butt kicked by Mechagodzilla?

2019-11-07 [Pied Crow]: Sure, but that doesn't take away how much l can love his walk in Godzilla Unleashed. :<

2019-11-22 [Alendre]: Godzilla had a leash?

2019-11-22 [Paul Doyle]: Godzilly go walkies? *SKREE-onkwoof*

2019-11-22 [Mortified Penguin]: Godziller is the least sexy kaiju.

2019-11-22 [Paul Doyle]: Zilla, on the other hands, seems to have supermodel legs encased in scales?

2019-11-25 [Paul Doyle]: <poll:77505>

2019-11-25 [Pied Crow]: That's not a fair comparison. Zilla was designed to be a supermodel! I mean...look at 'em!
<img500*0:stuff/aj/194592/zilla98pose.jpg>

2019-11-25 [Pied Crow]: Movie was still shite, though. Cartoon was better.

2019-11-25 [Pied Crow]: The kid's cartoon somehow had better stomps than a PG‑13 film. What's up with that?

2019-11-25 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1574697774.jpg>

2019-11-25 [Paul Doyle]: "Godzilla: the Series" was definitely a lot better than the Zilla movie. I hope at some point they bring back Zilla Jr. as a sidekick to the real Godzilla, kind of like Anguirus was Godzilla's sidekick in a few movies despite getting the crap kicked out of him every time.

2019-11-25 [Paul Doyle]: They could be bros . . . until, of course, the real Godzilla reveals that he's Zilla Jr's father.

2019-11-25 [Paul Doyle]: <img500*0:stuff/aj/11046/1574724334.jpg>

2019-11-26 [Pied Crow]: Aw, that's a nice pic, um, Doyle! It even has an airplane in the background, so you know it's good!

2019-11-27 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1574872770.png>

2019-11-28 [Yuriona]: Can I see it?

2019-11-28 [Mortified Penguin]: Er, no.

2019-11-28 [Yuriona]: Aww dang. :C

2019-11-29 [Sagacious Turkey]: <img500*0:stuff/aj/53406/1574987337.jpg>

2019-11-29 [Sagacious Turkey]: Vore me~ uwu

2019-11-30 [Pied Crow]: Does this count?
<img://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/598729674876518420/649825911293607936/drankgon_site.jpg>

2019-11-30 [Rainbow Dragonflies]: Made my annual round to check in here and I think I'll have my coffee to go . . .

2019-12-03 [Pied Crow]: Huh? I was just going with what everyone else said! Yeah, that's it...

2019-12-25 [Mortified Penguin]: <img500*0:stuff/aj/92105/1577281166.jpg>

2019-12-25 [Mortified Penguin]: <img500*0:stuff/aj/92105/1577281184.jpg>

2019-12-25 [Mortified Penguin]: <img500*0:stuff/aj/92105/1577281210.jpg>

2019-12-25 [Yuriona]: Merr Christmas. <img:stuff/dand-gif.gif>

2019-12-26 [Pied Crow]: l like this new trend of big lizards sticking out their tongue to give Christmas wishes in funny words!

2019-12-31 [Mortified Penguin]: <img:stuff/aj/92105/1577768974.jpg>
<img:stuff/aj/92105/1577769018.jpg>
<img:stuff/aj/92105/1577769064.jpg>
<img:stuff/aj/92105/1577769127.jpg>
<img500*0:stuff/aj/92105/1577769162.jpg>
<img500*0:stuff/aj/92105/1577769210.jpg>
<img500*0:stuff/aj/92105/1577769255.jpg>

2019-12-31 [Pied Crow]: Yeah, he sure is freaky looking, but he's still got a nice build! ... He didn't step on anything in his movie, either. At least, not on camera. I've only seem him step on something in that Shin-Chan Crayola feature, and that style was too low in framerate to show the fun of the stomp! Hmph...

2019-12-31 [Pied Crow]: Also... Awww, Ghidorah, that poor hydra dragon. :<
And... Awww; Goji, Rodi, and Mothi are so cute together!

2019-12-31 [Yuriona]: Ghidorah is a bully! He deserved to know what it feels like.

2020-01-01 [Pied Crow]: If Ghidorah's a bully, then what's Destoroyah?

2020-01-01 [Paul Doyle]: Legendary KG's original Kevin head (the severed one seen again at the end of the 2019 movie) deserves his own full kaiju. There's no way he could be as annoying as Godzooky or Minilla.

2020-01-01 [Paul Doyle]: Destoroyah is pretty much evil incarnate. If they ever made a big-budget version of the 1995 flick without really changing the plot, that could be something special (and tearjerking)---though that would also require about 3 movies having Baby Godzilla/Little Godzilla/Godzilla Junior as an ongoing subplot.

2020-01-02 [Pied Crow]: Good answer! You know your stuff...unlike me, who only knows things on a surface level.

2020-01-02 [Pied Crow]: .......... And, yeah, hit me. What's "Legendary KG's original Kevin head"?

2020-01-02 [Paul Doyle]: That was the really derpy head on KG's left that kept being picked on by the dominant head, and also the one that was origianlly severed before it grew back.

2020-01-03 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1578080834.jpg>

2020-01-04 [Pied Crow]: Haha, wow. KG? What ever could KG possibly mean? It's not like we were just talking about King Ghidorah, whose initials happen to be KG. ... I amaze myself sometimes...
Don't really get why we're saying Kevin, but I understand enough of what's going on now.

2020-01-04 [Pied Crow]: If it'd mean a single-headed bipedal dragon, l'm down. I love those!

2020-01-08 [Pied Crow]: Free Kevin!

2020-01-11 [Pied Crow]: Wait, what am l doing making an obscure reference? I have this l wanted to force upon your eyes: <img500*0:stuff/aj/194592/KotMIG2020114168.png>

2020-01-11 [Paul Doyle]: While Ichi and Ni rampage and roar, Kevin only wanted ice cream. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jUFEiU4JKE 

2020-01-12 [Pied Crow]: So, that's how it is! Poor guy...

2020-01-15 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1579063660.jpg>

2020-01-15 [Yuriona]: That is wrong on so many levels. Makes me wanna git ma gun and shoot me a possum!

2020-01-16 [Mortified Penguin]: <img:stuff/aj/92105/1579201904.jpg>

2020-01-16 [Mortified Penguin]: *eats ramen*

2020-01-17 [Paul Doyle]: Meanwhile in the hills of Alabama . . . <img300*0:stuff/aj/11046/PoorPossumPoorUsForEatingThis.jpg>

2020-01-17 [Pied Crow]: So, we're all sure it's "possum" and not "opossum"?

2020-01-17 [Mortified Penguin]: Possums are Australian. Opossums are North American.

2020-01-17 [Pied Crow]: So, that's how it is!

2020-01-20 [Mortified Penguin]: And Oopossums are Canadian.

2020-01-20 [Mortified Penguin]: Which doesn't count as North America. Apparently.

2020-01-28 [Pied Crow]: Mort-bird, don't you have some memes to post?

2020-01-28 [Pied Crow]: I mean, if you leave me alone for long enough, l'll eventually try getting us back on a kaiju topic or something.

2020-01-30 [Alendre]: Opossum Kaiju

2020-01-31 [Paul Doyle]: Guinea Pig Kaiju? Oh wait, "South Park" handled that one already.

2020-02-01 [Mortified Penguin]: <img400*0:stuff/aj/92105/1580576874.jpg>

2020-02-01 [Yuriona]: <img:stuff/k-gif.gif>

2020-02-02 [Pied Crow]: Mort-bird, no! The flavors don't match!

2020-02-02 [Pied Crow]: Speaking of unmatching flavors, Alendre person has a good suggestion. I could go for more furry kaiju!

2020-02-02 [Paul Doyle]: Pink NECCO wafers have an uncanny taste resemblance to Pepto-Bismol. just putting that one out there.

2020-02-02 [Pied Crow]: Ah, that's a good point, Doyle. I don't know what l was doing last night.

2020-02-03 [Yuriona]: Its probably best not to ask such questions. They tend to get answers you wish you didn't know.

2020-02-04 [Pied Crow]: Ain't that the truth!

2020-02-06 [Pied Crow]: Say, I know y'all are aware of sergals, but how about the charr? I really like their hulking build.

2020-02-06 [Pied Crow]: Darn it, l meant... It's almost like they have the stereotypes of sergals, but with the build of the krall.

2020-02-07 [Nuktae-tal]: What?

2020-02-08 [Pied Crow]: Hm... I don't see a typo... Regardless, there a lot of things to "what" at... Which in particular do you need an explanation for?

2020-02-11 [Yuriona]: Perhaps she disagrees with your comparison of charrs having a build of the krall.

2020-02-11 [Mortified Penguin]: Are we talking about different types of cheese in here? WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DISCUSSING CHEESE ON THE CLOCK?! *bashes Nuk over the head with the register*

2020-02-11 [Mortified Penguin]: Also, table three needs more cheese. They requested Cheddar, but that doesn't really pair well with their wine. Sweet white needs some good Brie, in my opinion. Or perhaps Camembert? Hmm...

"I actually asked for a refill of Sweet T-"

*backhands him across the room*

I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT GETTING CHEDDAR.

2020-02-12 [Yuriona]: <img:https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlJH7PI5SNWhFuw/giphy.gif>

2020-02-12 [Pied Crow]: Hmm... l don't know, it's the closest l could think of. I don't know know words. Broad-chested and wide shoulders...

2020-02-12 [Pied Crow]: Oops, l mean, um...

*slips some eidar cheese onto table three*

(12h ago) [Alendre]: As someone who makes cheese this thread got exciting

(6h ago) [Pied Crow]: Thread? l only know this as a wiki with a comment section.

(6h ago) [Pied Crow]: Huh? And, it seems l brought the wrong kind of cheese over. Hey, Mort-bird, how are we handling customers? The western way of "The Customer is Always Right" or the eastern way of "Have It Our Way"?

(2h ago) [Paul Doyle]: Opinions on Velveeta? (Mine: quarantine it , or make it available with a prescription only because it is nasty and questionably "cheese" no matter how well it melts)

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