Page name: Bears [Logged in view] [RSS]
2009-12-26 09:10:29
Last author: Hedda
# of watchers: 19
D20: 2
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"Bears kicks ass! By GOD. By GOD." - A young man of good intentions

Lately I have noticed something in regards to the world and it's state of being etc etc. BEARS. Yes. With a B, a B, a B-E-A-R-S. Bears. Frankly, my brothers in science, it can not be denied. There are bears, and they are here, on this planet, and they eat radiation. YES.

Let's say, well, let's say you were to meet a bear. What is it you would do besides die?

-Soil your pants

Spot on. BEARS. I say it again for drama's sake. Oh, what the drama. But listen here, my soul sisters! Could there be an alternative? TO BEAR DEATH? Dying... from Bears? Is there some vaccine you can take in case of a bear outbreak?

Yes and no. But mostly no. When facing a bear the best things to do are:

-Shoot yourself
-Hurl yourself off a cliff
-Smash your head in

This way the bear wont kill you. You will already be dead. Trust me, it is better that way.


Literally, the word Bear means "Not a dog, a cat or anything not a bear". This must be taken into consideration.

Bears cannot be avoided. They hide around corners and wait.

"There was this time my aunt died. It was a'cause of Bears," - Someone you know.

You have no hope. A bear will kill you. Live each moment prepared for death.

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2012-05-12 [iippo]: If this doesn't instil a healthy fear of bears in you, nothing will:

2012-05-26 [Doormat]: There is a skill in Diablo 3 that summons zombie bears ( I immediately deleted Diablo 3 after learning this. To think one could actually kill a bear and have it turn into a zombie (obviously) is preposterous. This false idea will probably lead to thousands/millions of deaths until Blizzard sorts their shit out.

2012-06-07 [NOOOPE]: OH GOD NO

2012-07-14 [iippo]: If you have forgotten your fear of bears, it is time to refresh it:

2013-02-06 [Hedda]: <img:>

2013-02-26 [Hedda]: <img:>

2013-02-26 [NOOOPE]: They have people shoulders...

2013-03-11 [Dezmond]: that looks like the werewolves from underworld o.O

2013-03-21 [Lothuriel]: I still have so much love for this wiki!

2013-05-09 [Viking]: Never allow bears to ride bicycles. Especially in a race against monkeys...

2013-05-09 [NOOOPE]: Clever girl...

2013-06-19 [Hedda]:


Bears - Way cooler than golf!

2013-06-26 [Hedda]: Too much bear at once! <img:44166_1164557391.gif>

2013-09-21 [Viking]: If you are in Russia, and driving along, you should give bears treats:

2013-09-24 [Paul Doyle]: DA BEARS!!!

2013-10-07 [Hedda]: <img500*0:stuff/aj/1/1381182958.jpg>

2013-10-07 [Aeolynn]: this totally reminds me of manbearpig from southpark

2014-09-07 [Viking]: Bears are causing problems in Girl Genius:

2014-09-07 [Viking]: Also, they're working with sharks:

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