Welcome to Adult Nursery Rhymes
Here are a few nursey rhymes that have been "modified" *evil grin* hehe
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun-Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread
Little Miss Muffet
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
Simple Simon met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dickhead!"
Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast
Hickory Dickory Dock
Hickory dickory dock,
Three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one,
and the others got away with minor injuries
Hey Diddle Diddle
Hey diddle, diddle,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the cat died of electric shock.
Mary had a little lamb,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
And turned it's wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
Dr. Seuss explains why computers crash
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is Interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your systems gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on the mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
till your icons in the windows are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet the suckers gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
And the macrocode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404."
Submitted by: [M_Sinner]
Back to Misc. Jokes